Personally, I love* the replacement refs. What is this blasphemy you ask?? Read on…
For starters, my Twitter and Facebook timelines were filled with something other than politics for the first time in months last night. Never have I seen Democrats and Republicans more unified! This morning, the refs (and their bad calls) gave our newspapers something to talk about other than how awful our baseball team is. Thank you replacement refs!
They create chaos. I’m the kind of girl who likes hockey just for the fights, so I’m all over a new chance for controversy. Next Sunday, I’m hoping for at least one fight to break out between the refs and the players. I’d even take a good fist fight between the refs and the fans, as long as someone slo-mos the replay for me.
Forbes declared last week that the “NFL Replacement Referees Have Compromised the Game’s Integrity.” If by “integrity” they mean the ability to count to three timeouts, then I agree, because if kindergarteners can do it, the refs should be able to as well. If Forbes is trying to suggest the NFL had much integrity left before the replacement refs, I’m going to disagree (see lockout, Saints bounty scandal, concussions, and Roger Goodell for a few examples).
Suddenly, anything goes in the NFL. The replacement refs give your awful team or terrible fantasy pick an actual chance! Just think of all the bad calls that could go your way or the bad bets you could now win! Life just got so much more interesting.
Never has black and white been so attractive. Just look at #5 on SportsPickle “10 Sexiest NFL Replacement Refs.” This guy could easily be in a pizza delivery commercial.
Indecision is finally being celebrated. Just like a teenage girl trying to get dressed in the morning, the replacement refs give each call on the field a myriad of options as they call, review, recall and rereview. Never again will I be satisfied with an initial call from the field. Plus, these long pauses in the game give me a chance to load up on snacks, take a quick nap, or start an argument with other fans.
And finally, the situation of the replacement refs is sad and disappointing but it’s also absurd and quite frankly, hilarious. Watch this guy slip on a ref’s hat in the end zone and try not to laugh. Embrace the absurdity!
So next time you’re about to go on a rant about how bad the replacement refs are, remember all the joy and entertainment they bring you. Then you can go on your rant, because I’d like to read it. Bring on the chaos and controversy!
*Let’s get real here. I love the replacement refs until they screw over my team. Then I’ll become just another hater.
Emily Ritter is a contributing writer to Aerys Offsides. Follow her on Twitter @ebritter2.