I think we can only draw one conclusion from this interview: Michal Neuvirth is a supervillain.

Born of envy and lack of acknowledgement, he toiled in the shadows behind other, less talented goalies:

It’s true that until now, I have never been an official number one.

Always been the bridesmaid in the Washington crease, never the bride.

He was unappreciated and ignored by his coach:

I am happy about Oates [...] because it means Dale Hunter isn’t staying.

He simply didn’t talk to us goalies at all, I think he criticized us sometimes for no reason.

Now, slowly, his competition falls away, one by one…

At first – the Russian who was always in front of me because he was drafted higher and played in the NHL sooner. It was hard to get in front of him. But in the end I played much more than he did.

Hahaha…

I was the one who advised [Vokoun] to leave for Pittsburgh.

Ahahaha…

I am really sure that I have the weakest competition (Braden Holtby) I’ve ever had. I will try to be number one goalie this season. Finally!

MUAHAHAHAHA!
» Continue reading “Michal Neuvirth Reveals His Evil Plan”

After a few days off, I’ve recovered sufficiently to say something about the Capitals. (Literally recovered. I have scabs on my knee from my nails cutting where I was clutching it during Game 7.) Unfortunately what I have to say is “what a shame.” These Caps really had the look of a team that could go all the way. Or perhaps what I mean is that we could have looked that way, but factors against us combined to make it not so… And thus took us, I think a few years further away from a Cup.

First, we will bid adieu to Tomas Vokoun, who signed an astoundingly cheap contract knowing full well he would only be here a year. He has in fact complained before at how homesick he was. There’s nothing wrong with missing your family, but perhaps he could’ve considered the before he chose the career of “professional athlete in a country that is not your homeland.” Personally, I don’t have a lot of sympathy for him. Maybe I would have more if he had ended up being that Cup-contending goalie he was meant to be, instead of putting up average to good reg season numbers then getting injured immediately before the postseason began.

Secondly, we will almost definitely bid adieu to Sasha Semin, who, while never the lynchpin of anything, was always a welcome addition to our offense. To me, his gorgeous sniper-like wrist shots made up for the lazy offensive zone stick penalties. Even when they made the coach do this. I understand why he would want out, but I’m going to miss him.

Also on the list of players I would miss: Mike Knuble. He’s 40 and coming off an unimpressive season thanks to Dale Hunter Hockey (TM), but I think we can squeeze a couple mil under the cap to retain his services, eh GMGM? He says he both feels fine and wants to keep playing, and even if he didn’t get the 20 goals he wanted, he still has grit and adds the presence of a grizzled veteran. And may I remind of you of when he outraced a man half his age to wash out an icing in the Rangers series? The man still has the internal fire.
» Continue reading “A Look At Capitals Free Agents, Part 1″

It’s my personal favorite day: goalie day! I love goaltenders, netminders, puckstoppers, creasekeepers, tendies, and every other bizarre synonym you’ve got.

And just my luck, there’s so much to yap about. Let’s start with the good guys (somewhere along the line this switched from “know thy enemy” to my favorite tag on this blog, “goalie blather”):

Tomas Vokoun: He’s going to be outsies for the rest of the season, even if he’s playing coy about it. Anyone saying anything else is being optimistic, or, as I like to think of it, an idiot.

Michal Neuvirth: He’s been called “inconclusive” and reports are only willing to count him out for a few days at a time, but I think it’s clear he won’t be around for at least this series, and I’m skeptical about the rest of the playoffs. Have you ever had a 200-pound Bavarian on top of you? Oh, uh… me neither.

Braden Holtby: Now we’re talking. Like Neuvy before him, and Varly before him, we’re starting a rank amateur in the Stanley Cup Playoffs. That’s good Capitals tradition right there. Although if we’re going to be truly honest, it’s less “rank amateur” and more “guy rocking a .922 SV% and 2.49 GAA through an admittedly small sample size, who has shown himself to be a standout at the AHL level and more than capable of holding his own in the NHL.” Still, he’s just one guy. If he gets injured…

Dany Sabourin: DESASTRE IMMINENTE
(His playoff experience involves going in after Luongo was pulled on two separate occasions, both losses. Hooray!)

No clue what we’re supposed to do if Holts and/or Sabs goes down. In the long-standing tradition of using random members of the front office, we’ve been playing the Director of Media Relations Sergey Kocharov in net during practice because they want me to have a heart attack.

So how are thing’s doing for the men in the black hats?

Tim Thomas: Everyone’s favorite Libertarian is ready and rarin’ for the playoffs, though he abruptly shut down his latest presser when asked about the White House incident. Now everyone wants Obama to get seats behind the net for games 3 and 4 (but he won’t, because he hates hockey and refuses to go to any Caps games). New plan: wave Obama-head signs at him, or wear bank stick-up-style Obama masks. Look how big the government’s gotten now!

Oh yeah, and he went 35-19-1 with a .920SV% and 2.36 GAA yada yada yada. Just because he’s great doesn’t mean he’s not also crazy.

Tuukka Rask: Still out, according to my professor. The most up-to-date Bruins source!

Anton Khudobin: To be honest, I have no clue who this guy is. I only heard about him because I saw a headline on NHL.com saying “Khudo-win!” which is a pretty awful sign for us. He is 1-0-0 with a .978 SV% and 1.00 GAA, which is a long-winded way of saying SAMPLE SIZE.

Marty Turco: He’s not eligible to play in the playoffs. I just wanted to remind you he was on the Bruins for about twenty minutes this season so we can all laugh together!

I would give them the edge in goaltending, but not as much of an edge as they think they have. Unlike most other things, I have faith in Holtby. He’s a neurotic and superstitious young cuss but he’s 14-4-3 in the NHL with a .922 SV% and 2.02 GAA. He’s intensely focused, even-keeled, and dependable when the chips are down. He lavishly complimented NHL refs, which will surely buy him a call or two. He also went drinking with Stretch Leonhardt and Mike Vogel when he was 19, which is naughty but also reasonably funny. Don’t let me down, Holts.

For more goalie infos, check out the Goalie Guild and his depth charts, because he’s the best in the biz and also I have a secret crush on him. And as always, A Cup A Bruin has all the perspective I lack.

Tomorrow: a playoff bracket that was written while I listened to “The Best of The Smiths” on repeat!

The Capitals have clinched a playoffs berth! Yay!

At the expense of our new starting goaltender! Boo!

Last night’s regulation win over Florida guaranteed us the 8th seed in the East — and a first-round series against the New York Rangers. Tomorrow is Super Saturday, with every team in the NHL in action, and the results of our game and Florida’s game will determine whether or not we surpass them for the SE Div title and the 3 seed (which would have us face New Jersey). Florida faces Carolina, which should honestly be a gimme game. We, of course, face…

the Rangers.

There’s a chance we see the Blueshirts for the next 8 games. Our playoff record in the past against them has been pretty good, but they are running away with the East this season and could very well take the Presidents Trophy. I don’t really want to do a huge preview for them right now, mainly because it seems likely I’ll have write one in about two days, but needless to say this is a great team that could stomp all over us if we let them. And right now, that’s okay(-ish). We can consider this a trailer, before the actual movie starts. We just don’t know yet if it’ll be a thriller, a comedy, or possibly a horror.

And of course, the poor Sabres have been eliminated. I’ll try not to gloat the next time I run into BSF.

Now to the issue I’ve been dancing gingerly around. Former Cap (and Bavarian!) Marco Sturm ran into Neuvirth and collapsed onto him so that his left knee took the blow and bent awkwardly. He then writhed on the ground with an anguish that was felt by every Caps fan watching (and also everyone who has ever blown out their knee).

Holtby performed admirably in relief, but with Vokoun already out and Neuvirth’s future now shaky, it looks like we could go into the playoffs with the Hershey cadre of Holtby and Dany Sabourin. I honestly have no idea who is under Sabs on the depth chart, especially since Stingrays starter (and Bavarian!) Philipp Grubauer is done for the season after surgery. Olaf Kölzig is a part-time goalie coach…?

On the other end of the goalie spectrum, what the hell was up with Jose Theodore? He left after giving up 3, then came back after a commercial break. Did he eat some bad poutine?

The Capitals face the Rangers at 6:30 on Super Saturday, but games start at 1, so make sure you buy enough beer to last you through at least the early evening games!

Serves me right for complaining about taking all these games to the shootout. I would’ve been pretty satisfied with that result. It’s like we have the meanest amount of breathing room and we think we’re off the hook. Who cares if we drop 2 valuable points to the Tampa Bay “Already Eliminated” Lightning?
» Continue reading “Capitals Roll Over To Lightning, Proffer Belly”

Looks like I spoke too soon, eh? I guess I should just be thankful I set myself up for a headline joke, much like the way Backstrom used to set up Ovechkin for the goal, which hasn’t happened in recent memory.
» Continue reading “The Capitals Have Lost Their Feet Again”

That loss to Edmonton was simply heartbreaking, wasn’t it? All my optimism for this season was shattered in one crushing blow. The Edmonton Oilers beat us. Why, what if we were facing a good team with a real goalie?? WHAT CHANCE WOULD WE HAVE??

…Oh. Edmonton leads the West, the Kids & the Hall Line is one of the highest scoring combos in the NHL right now, and Roberto Luongo isn’t actually a good goalie. Panic over!
» Continue reading “Capitals at Canucks: Guess Where It’s Snowing Now”

Gotta ask the question: 82-0?

In all seriousness, no. Unfortunately Vokoun can’t start every game for the rest of the season, especially in the 12 back-to-backs we have in the second half of the season. But let’s say we drop all 6 second games. That still leaves us at 76-6. The ’96 Red Wings have the record for most wins, with 62-13-7, which, with 7 games already taken care of, we’ve practically made it!

The ’77 Habs (as chronicled by Ken Dryden) have points record with 132, having gone 60-8-12 (in an 80 game season). Why, with the OTL charity point, we can match that easily! I don’t see why we can’t break both of these records, culminating in a glorious Stanley Cup win by the Tampa Bay Lightning, who will not be worrying over this kind of irrelevant BS.

And if we don’t, we still have the chance to chase another record: in the inaugural season of the Washington Capitals went 8-67-5 for a total of 21 points. We can still do it!

It’s the moment we’ve all been waiting for: the only two currently undefeated teams in the NHL face each other. (I would like to point out that the Caps are undefeated-er, going 6-0-0 while the Wings have only sustained 5 wins.) This is the second time two undefeated teams who have played more than 5 games each have faced each other.

This game is also pretty special to me, because the US office of the study abroad program I did last year was based in Detroit, so everyone I know is a Red Wings fan. There is a lot of my personal pride riding on this game. » Continue reading “Capitals vs. Red Wings – In Pursuit of Perfection”

Anyone else momentarily freak out and wonder what year it was when they heard Jagr’s name in the Flyers game yesterday? Just me? All right then.

There does not appear to be a preview for tomorrow’s game up on the Official Capitals Website, but Japers’ has our back as always. There’s a plethora of links, though I would give special notice to the Washington Times special pull-out section, which definitely leads the league in silly drawings, though the Post preview gives them a run for their money (D7-10). Although I think it’s a bit silly to still call our core the Young Guns.

Here are the storylines I will be watching out for:
» Continue reading “Season’s Eve”