I haven’t been keeping up with hockey news as closely as I usually might, because right now the big story — actually, the only story — is that of the lockout. And not only is that depressing, it’s also infuriating. Which side should I take: the rich old men who aren’t getting enough money from their indulgent investment? Or the rich young men who aren’t getting paid enough to play a game? The owners are completely unsympathetic, but I don’t have a lot of patience for the players, either. Obviously, neither side gives a damn about the fans.

So I recently read an article from Pro Hockey Talk that, thankfully, did not mention the lockout, but did give me the opportunity to roll my eyes for ten minutes. The headline was “Dale Hunter won’t miss dealing with Washington media.”

Of course! The notoriously cruel Washington hockey media! Anyone would be sick of dealing with the two newspapers and one TV channel that actually cover hockey! Not to mention the multiple unpaid bloggers who, if they somehow manage to get credentialed, are performing a labor of love that causes them to be somewhat less critical than an unbiased reporter, particularly to someone they are predisposed to adore, like a former player who is so beloved his number has been retired.

I don’t begrudge Hunter his decision to move back up to his farm and his horses and his comfortable job in the family business. I just think it’s silly that the media seemed to be a surprise. He says things like, “You have to answer every question.” Quelle horreur! Those nosy reporters, always wanting to know why you put a highly paid superstar and consistent 50-point scorer on the fourth line, or why you’re giving less ice time to the highest-profile player in the whole league.

He also described Kettler as being “downtown,” which was baffling to me as Kettler isn’t so much downtown as “20 minutes away from the city limits, in a totally different state.” Unless he meant downtown Ballston, which is also baffling because Ballston isn’t really big enough to have a downtown.

Oops, there goes the media again. We’re simply animals!

Congratulations to the New York Rangers on making it to the third round for the first time since 1997.

Thoughts on the Capitals:

-I basically felt the same way as George McPhee during pretty much the entire game. Part of which was spent with a Rangers fan who had a) both a genuinely New Yawk accent and b) used the phrase “my girlfriend’s husband” and literally could not be more of caricature. (P.S. I have a huge crush on George McPhee.)

-1 power play, refs? I’m not a huge fan of the NHL conspiracy theories, but the Capitals received ONE total power play in the entire game. And it was a delay of game. The Rangers do NOT play that cleanly. Also, I bet you a hundred dollars the finals are Los Angeles-New York (happy birthday Gary Bettman!).

-Looks like Dale Hunter finally started reading this, because Wideman only got 15 minutes of ice time. Or maybe he hasn’t, because Knuble only got 5:57. Remember how I said last game the Capitals seemed to always have someone in the right place at the right time? This was the opposite of that.

-Speaking of, sort of, how long do you think Dale Hunter will be around? If he is coach next year, I think he’s on a very short leash. I have my issues with him (that I will discuss in another post, get excited), but I think we can all agree his hardcore shot-blocking Rangers-copying style is unsustainable for 82 games.

-Thought I had just now: wouldn’t it be awesome if the Caps just played in whatever style their competition did? Issue: the teams that get this far all play in more or less the same style. Sorry. Bad bullet point.

-Apparently the stat line for “rookie goaltenders whose fiancee has a baby two days before a Game 7″ is 0-1. Still, if anyone’s concerned, that’s a very small sample size.

-What happened to the odd man rush? We had fewer than we had last game, and still couldn’t buy a goal. (Insert “buy a vowel” joke here, what with Pat Sajak being a season ticket holder?)

-I had two Good Charlotte (DC band!) songs prepped for tonight. Unfortunately, I have to use this one: “The Day That I Die“. I’m aware how embarrassing it is to listen to Good Charlotte: just slightly less embarrassing than listening to Billy Joel. NEW YORK BURN

Happy off-season, Caps fans. If you find something to do besides vandalism, tell me.

I’m leery of accidentally jinxing the Capitals with what I’m about to say — after all, Holts had a shutout going until the NBCSN morons actually said it, because they hate the Caps — but for significant stretches of time this team reminded me of… well…

They reminded me of the 2009 Capitals. On multiple occasions they set up their PP-style cycle at even strength, they were putting on consistent pressure that created odd man rushes, and Ovechkin nearly scored while seated on the ice, which happened second most memorably in 2009 (the first most memorable being, of course, the goal).

Notes I Took During The Game:
-Brilliant start. We came out like a team with a major chip on our shoulder (which we were), and the Rangers didn’t know what to do. They didn’t regroup until about halfway through the first, and then only sporadically. We looked good. I mean, real good.

-Number 8 scored at 88 seconds in, which was a delight. I will give you zero dollars (Canadian) if you can guess how he beat Lundqvist. Plus, he had assists from 19 and 52, which bodes well. Green’s looking like he did in — well, you can probably guess.

-What a PK. With no Beagle and Laich in the box for the first one, that was huge. Anything after that would be trivial. Even a double minor. Killing that was a huge momentum swing and confidence boost for the Caps. Really exorcised the demons from last game.

-On that subject, are the Rangers blading or something? I’ve been hit in the face with a baseball hard enough for it to leave stitch imprints, and I’ve never started bleeding. Are these guys anemic?
» Continue reading “Capitals Force (Surprise, Surprise) Game 7 Against The Rangers”

Every once in a while I hear someone use the phrase “rally caps,” and they usually refer to something silly someone’s doing their headgear to psyche themselves up. But what it makes me think of, as most things do, is the Washington Capitals (this can be a problem when I take a class on the development of the modern city, and I try not to drift off distractedly everyone time someone says “capitals”).

“Rally Caps” is as good a nickname as any for this incarnation of the Capitals. We’ve had a day to recover, and now it’s time to rally. That’s all I can hope they do after that sucker punch of a game on Monday (frankly, I’m just satisfied I didn’t have to puke and rally after that debacle).

Fun fact: if you Google “rally caps,” as I did while writing this, the first hit is the Wikipedia article I’ve linked to. The rest of the hits are variations of the headline “Rangers Rally, Beat Caps in OT.” Thanks, universe.

Anyway, here’s an issue around which Caps fans can rally: the hubris of a team selling tickets for the next round when they were still two games out (at the time). I guess we’ll see tonight if the Hockey Gods will punish the Rangers for their audacity… or reward their cockiness.

Much as I hate to invoke Bill Simmons’ preposterous, martyresque, and (worst of all) Boston-sports-centric Levels of Losing, I think I might have to. The only thing that stops it being a Level III Stomach Punch is the fact that the Capitals are still alive, and, though that was emotionally devastating, it doesn’t feel totally hopeless. It’s almost what we’ve come to expect from the Caps. We all understood. We spent the last five minutes saying, “When is Marian Gaborik just going to tie this thing already?” or “Look, it’s icing. I guarantee Brad Richards scores off the faceoff here, come one.” It was probably with 7 seconds left that I let myself believe we could actually win this.

I won’t be making that mistake again.
» Continue reading “Capitals Lose Game 5 In Most Infuriating Way Possible”

I wrote recently about how, as much fun as a 3OT game is, it’s not good for a team planning a deep run. Neither is a Game 7. They’re both physically and mentally exhausting, and when other teams are finishing in fewer games and OTs (see: the West), it puts us at a serious disadvantage. Both teams were clearly feeling punished during the 3rd period of game 4, and that was with a 2 day break between games with no travel. Right now I’m watching the LA Kings steamroll the Blues in 4 games. Who do you think will be better equipped to face the next round: the Kings or whoever wins the WSH-NYR series, which is going to at least 6 games and already has one 3OT game?

Thrillingly, this might be one area in which the Capitals have a distinct advantage. We had two seasons of outlandish performance (G/G 09-10: 3.82; 08-09: 3.27). Then we had a season in which Mike Green played 32 games (G/G 10-11: 2.67) and a season in which Green played 49 games and Backstrom played 42 (G/G 11-12: 2.66). Consequently, we backed into a playoff spot on the last day of the regular season. The top 5 scorers on the #1-seeded Rangers (whose G/G is only 2.71) all played over 75 games. Backstrom still managed to be in the top 5 in points on the Caps despite playing only 42 games. And maybe I’m just projecting, but it seemed to me that the Rangers were in worse shape by the third period of game 4. You know, the period in which Mike Green scored the go-ahead goal and players such as Ryan “53:17 TOI” McDonagh were helpless to do anything.

I believe that the President’s Trophy is the indicator of which team is actually the best in the NHL: it’s the only environment in which the sample size is big enough, all the teams are under relatively similar conditions, and random events (such as injuries) have time to balance out. What the Stanley Cup playoffs test is luck (the winner is whoever’s goalie gets the hottest for the longest time, let’s not even pretend otherwise) and, to a lesser extent, ability to perform under pressure. Anyone watching the Capitals and the Rangers can tell that these teams are more or less evenly matched.

What it’s going to come down to (and already has, quite literally) is stamina, and here the Capitals have the edge. Puck Daddy ran an article asking if Dale Hunter was a genius or a goofball due to limiting the ice time of Ovechkin, Backstrom, and Semin. The ostensible reason is to play more defensively responsible guys as well as making it clear who was in charge (Hunter’s got a job in London no matter what, so his job security isn’t a factor), but an Ovie with only 13:36 TOI is an Ovie with fresh legs and manic amounts of energy. People have been taking pot shots at his conditioning, so if that’s the case, lowering his ice time might actually be the correct solution.

(Side note: Henrik Lundqvist played 62 games in the regular season, and Braden Holtby played 40 in the AHL and 7 in the NHL, which is still 15 games fewer at the most mentally stressful postion on the ice. However, goalies tend to get in a rhythm/streak more than skaters.)

Only time can tell. And that time is 7:30 on Monday. (See things from the enemy’s perspective over at Black & Blueshirts.)

In other news, beloved Capitals color commentator Craig Laughlin is having surgery during the offseason. Best wishes from your number 2 fan (after Joe B)!

There was a contingency plan in place for NBC in case this game went so long it interfered with the Kentucky Derby. Luckily, they didn’t need it. The Caps have now split 2-2 with the series going back to New York.

I was pretty satisfied with this game. The first period was a delight for the home team: we had a high-tempo game (14 shots on goal in the 1st = as many as we had in the entirety of game 1) and our power play looked very sexy. Too bad that didn’t help (at least not until the 3rd period, but hang on, I’m getting there). Instead, Ovechkin appeared to be buoyed by the 8th minute yet again as he fired a beauty of a slapper that was apparently scared of Lundqvist’s glove, since immediately jumped out and into the safety of the back of the net.

Things aren’t all sunshine and roses for Ovie, though, because it looks like some people want some supplementary discipline for his hit on Dan Girardi. He may be known for his exuberant hits, but I doubt anything will happen: no one was hurt and Ovie is a superstar. If any action is taken at all, I bet it’s a fine — it wasn’t as bad as Shea Weber.
» Continue reading “Capitals Tie Series With Rangers”

It occurred to me that I totally forgot to award anyone the SPICY Player of the Game last time! And there are some solid candidates after that doozy: the goalies could share it, for keeping both teams in the game for so long, John Carlson deserves it after that WJC-like laser goal (pretty sure that goal is going to define his entire hockey career), Ryan McDonagh for playing nearly an hour, Dale Hunter for making some really amusing facial expressions…

But I read this little article about what the Caps were eating on the bench and Troy Brouwer really hit the nail on the head:

“We had orange slices and banana slices coming around,” he said. “Power bars and things like that to make sure we were keeping our energy up.”

As someone who played pretty much every sport as a child, I concur. Orange slices? Power bars? All that’s missing is some Capri Suns and a promise to go to Chick-fil-a. Heck, it’s the only sport where you have to shake the hands/high-five your opponents after it’s over. I’m just disappointed the coaches and training staff don’t make a tunnel with their arms that everyone gets to run under.

My point is, if the game is going to bring back childhood memories of rec center soccer leagues, then it’s only fair to reward the players like it’s the elementary school summer soccer league (fun fact: I played for teams named the Sharks and the Lightning — I’m all about southern market expansion). Therefore…
» Continue reading “Capitals Eat Orange Slices, Get Participation Trophies”

I suppose I deserve this. I spent the last two periods drinking a drink called the Stinger, which is not only the same name as the Blue Jackets mascot (BAD OMEN), but is also a drink known as being super-fashionable in 1940s Manhattan. I pretty much gave as much bad juju to the Caps as is humanly possible.

Luckily, I’m now out of brandy. No more Stingers here! Now it’s all pretty much all red wine ennui. I knew we would lose the whole time! Right?
» Continue reading “Capitals Lose 3OT “Marathon””

I’m terribly excited the action has moved to DC. I just finished reading American Pyscho, and frankly I’ve had enough of Manhattan. Patrick Bateman is one of the creepiest protagonists (or at least designated protagonists) in modern American lit.

Wait… extremely good-looking, well-dressed, physically fit, wealthy man who spends his downtime at the coolest restaurants and bars in NYC? I guess I should be relieved Henrik Lundqvist (Reebok sweater, glove, blocker, stick, helmet and pads all by Bauer) didn’t mistake Mojo (Reebok sweater, Reebok shorts, helmet and gloves by Bauer) for a hardbody at Dorsia and kill him with an ax.

To continue with the theme of relentless narcissism, I found this quote in an entry by moi from last season’s Rangers series:

[Ovechkin]’s always been able to bring his game to another level when the situation calls for it, but now it seems like he’s bringing the rest of the team with him. The reason we made him captain was because he steps up and scores the big goal when we need it. In game 1, that wasn’t a pretty highlight reel goal that left Gretzky speechless, it was an in-the-trenches garbage goal with no glamour or flash.

I’m not saying, I’m just saying.

Anyway, how about some link salad:

Here’s Ryan Lambert (@twolinepass) writing sarcastically over at Puck Buddys because they bought his and Chemmy’s (@felixpotvin) services for the second round. It’s a nice antidote to the millions of “LOOK AT OVIE’S ICE TIME” articles circling around (not that I would ever write such a thing please don’t look at my last post).

Here’s the less sarcastic examination of Hunter’s thought process in lightening Ovechkin’s ice time, though it makes more or less the same point.

Since yesterday was May Day, people have been celebrating Alan May (@MayHockeyCSN) all across twitter, and this article came up. If the idea of rats doesn’t make you immediately vomit thanks to American Psycho, I would suggest reading it! It’s the saga of Alan May rooming with Hall-of-Famer Dino Ciccarelli (and you can tell it’s really written by him, because the writer clearly has only a tenuous grasp on spelling and grammar).

On a totally different tack, here’s the confirmation that Evgeny Kuznetsov will be playing in the KHL for 2 more years, because he wants to represesnt Russia at the Olympics, and pretty much every Russian player not already in the NHL is being held emotionally hostage. If you jump ship to the land of good hockey and guaranteed money, you won’t get picked. Aren’t Russian politics fun?

And of course I would be remiss if I didn’t link my opposite number over on the Intermission Report. Great article on Tortorella, whom I find to be the least objectionable member of the Rangers (and also the man with the most Pokemon-like name).

Game 3 on NBCSports at 7:30. Be there or be square (and it’s not hip to be square!).