I feel like George McPhee must be stage-dooring the Caps the way he’s getting things signed lately.

First, he locked down Filip Forsberg, whom you might remember from the draft last month. He got the standard 3-year, entry-level contract, in which he receives a severe pay raise when being called up from the AHL. As it stands he is expected to play in Leksand next season anyway.

Then he signed some guy named Matt Clackson, whom I only heard of when trawling the news archives of capitals.nhl.com. Apparently he was 8th in the AHL in PIM last season, so I confidentally expect I will never mention him again.
» Continue reading “Capitals Re-Sign Mike Green, And Other News”

Adieu, Dennis Wideman. We barely knew you, and yet we knew you as much as we’d like.

Faithful readers will know that there is no love lost between myself and Wideman. I coined the term “Widemanesque” after game 5 of the WSH-NYR series, meaning “awful” or “disappointing” or “the worst ever.” I nicknamed him Dennis “NHL All-Star?” Wideman and Dennis “Useless Paperweight” Wideman. I was not convinced that he was an All-Star and totally let down by him during the playoffs.

And yet he was. Dennis Wideman was the only Capital to make it to the All-Star Game. He was 4th on the team in scoring (11-35-46). He led the team in ice time, averaging 23:54 in the regular season. On paper, he was perfectly satisfactory.

I think it’s most accurate to see him as disappointing. We paid him $4 million and expected him to take some of the pressure off Mike Green (as a dynamic defenseman capable of scoring) and be the final piece of a Stanley Cup-caliber team. He failed to do this, and worse, he didn’t seem to be disciplined for his mistakes.

Maybe it’s shallow to assume it was merely some form of hockey nepotism — Dennis Wideman and John Carlson (21:51) had the most and second most TOI/G on the team. They finished -8 and -15. Mike Green and Karl Alzner both had less ice time and a +/- of +5 and +12, respectively. But when Alex Ovechkin’s dwindling ice time is held up as an indication of the hardline stance Hunter was taking, it seems suspicious that two underperformers are not penalized… and are both former London Knights.

Because he was supposed to be better than this, it was all the worse when he was out of position, or made sloppy turnovers, or indirectly caused a goal against. I could’ve handled that sort of behavior from Jeff Schultz (not been pleased about it, mind you, but my expectations for Jeff Schultz are relatively low). I expected competent defense with a soupcon of scoring — the above-average scoring did not excuse the sometimes trainwreck defense. He was pretty good when he was good. He was a genuine liability when he wasn’t.

By trading Wideman rather than letting him walk as a UFA, we received a 5th-round pick in the 2013 draft and defenseman Jordan Henry from the Flames. They promptly signed him to a 5-year, $26.25 million deal with a full no movement clause. The best word I have to describe that deal? Widemanesque.

It occurred to me that I totally forgot to award anyone the SPICY Player of the Game last time! And there are some solid candidates after that doozy: the goalies could share it, for keeping both teams in the game for so long, John Carlson deserves it after that WJC-like laser goal (pretty sure that goal is going to define his entire hockey career), Ryan McDonagh for playing nearly an hour, Dale Hunter for making some really amusing facial expressions…

But I read this little article about what the Caps were eating on the bench and Troy Brouwer really hit the nail on the head:

“We had orange slices and banana slices coming around,” he said. “Power bars and things like that to make sure we were keeping our energy up.”

As someone who played pretty much every sport as a child, I concur. Orange slices? Power bars? All that’s missing is some Capri Suns and a promise to go to Chick-fil-a. Heck, it’s the only sport where you have to shake the hands/high-five your opponents after it’s over. I’m just disappointed the coaches and training staff don’t make a tunnel with their arms that everyone gets to run under.

My point is, if the game is going to bring back childhood memories of rec center soccer leagues, then it’s only fair to reward the players like it’s the elementary school summer soccer league (fun fact: I played for teams named the Sharks and the Lightning — I’m all about southern market expansion). Therefore…
» Continue reading “Capitals Eat Orange Slices, Get Participation Trophies”

Like anyone with an internet connection and slightly obsessive tendencies, I heard about Dale Hunter’s comment that Game 7 should be “fun” and that the players should “have fun with it.” I have to admit, I’m skeptical.

Hockey is fun, yes. And watching hockey is likewise fun. Frankly, these last few weeks have been the best weeks of my senior year. I watched part of a Senators game yesterday. And liked it. I started crying when the Coyotes won a playoff series for the first time ever, because Shane Doan is the world’s nicest man (also, his nickname sounds like one of my favorite foods).

But fun? Not so sure about that. Sure, it’s fun for a little bit. It’s like a roller coaster: the nervous anticipation, your heart pounding, bile rising in your throat as you look ahead, and finally, the relief of diving. But roller coasters last, like, 3 minutes. Game 7 lasts 60, and probably more, because the Capitals, like all hockey teams, only want to punish you for loving them. It’ll be fun right up until one of the teams scores and you become a gibbering nervous wreck, desperate either to keep up or maintain. Frankly, I think Carlson had it right:

It’s a war.

And let’s give ABBA the last word:

(If the embed won’t work, here’s the link.)

It’s a one game series now. Let’s get it done: tomorrow, 7:30, CSN (or NBCSports).

By the way, I wasn’t joking last post about wearing a playoff speculation helmet. I write all of my posts like this:

Anyway, it’s defensemen day! Might as well start with the obvious…

-How about this Dmitry Orlov, eh? He got off to really lackluster start, but I’m getting more and more impressed with this kid. I bet he’ll be a swing player that no one sees coming. He went something like 20 shots without getting a goal, but he’s not a bad assist guy and he is rarely the direct cause of a goal against (unlike some d-men with more points who make a major defensive oopsie about biweekly).

-Okay, okay, we’ll talk about Chara. He’s a hundred feet tall and weighs three tons and can throw other players around like ragdolls. He’s also got 52 points, which is more than any of our d-men as well as all but two of our forwards. In our defense (ohohoho), Mike Green only played 32 games, some of which he was clearly not working at 100%. It’s been kinda tough overall to evaluate just how good this Caps team can be, since it’s not been all that many games that a full health Green and Backstrom and any of our goalie corps got to shine at the same time. On the other hand, Chara’s got a great shot at the Norris again this year. And speaking of great shots, let’s keep in mind his slapper can hit 108.8 mph oh my god under no circumstances should any of our guys try to shotblock.

-That said, I think it’s fair to call Green the other stand-out defenseman of this series. He plays a totally different style than Chara (who picked up the Norris the year Green was also nominated, not that I’m bitter…), and he’s shown that he can be utterly clutch when needs be. His nickname is “Game Over Green” due to his penchant for scoring OT winners.

-Does it annoy anyone else how people (by which I mean Canadians) call Chara “Chair-a”? C’mon. I have also heard on at least one occasion someone refer to him as “Zed-no.” Really? REALLY?

-The Broons’ number one d-pairing is Chara-Seidenberg (German!), which apparently manages to score points while still maintaining a creamy plus-minus AND averaging more TOI than any of our pairings, including Alzner-Carlson which is the most consistently paired duo. They do take way more penalties than us, though; Karlzon play like gentlemen in comparison. Which is all well in good if they’re looking to win the Lady Byng.

-In fact, the Big Bad Bruins are much more truculent while also being a higher-scoring team than us. I need to quit looking at stats — I’m pessimistic enough as it is. How about something light-hearted?

-The best thing that I can say about Roman Hamrlik: He’s a trained chef! So he’s got that going for him.

-Still, the best thing I can say about Joe Corvo is that his name is English for Jose Cuervo! I’ll bring the limes!

For information by people who actually know the Broons, rather than those who just open up the (lovely and wonderful) NHL.com stat pages and draw sweeping generalizations, check out A Cup A Bruin. More like BOOING, amirite?

Hope everyone enjoyed their Christmases (or in Jeff Halpern’s case, is enjoying their Hannukkah), as the Caps get back to the daily grind with a game against Buffalo. Let’s hope it’s better than the Devils game.
» Continue reading “Capitals @ Sabres – Seriously, There’s More Important Hockey On”

Sure, sure, we had a beauty win over the Predators, snapping their 5-game winning streak and making all of us think it was 2009 again, what with goals from Ovechkin, Backstrom, and Semin. But that’s not important. What’s important is Brooks Laich in a Santa hat.

» Continue reading “Charity From Your Washington Capitals (And Wizards)”

Woof. The winter blues have really gotten to me. In the past week and a half I’ve laughed, I’ve cried, I’ve stayed up all night, I’ve stared into the abyss, and I’ve shouted “WHY??” at the heart of the world. But enough about finals. Let’s talk Capitals hockey, shall we?
» Continue reading “The Capitals Getting Their Feet Back”