By the way, I wasn’t joking last post about wearing a playoff speculation helmet. I write all of my posts like this:
This is my thinking face
Anyway, it’s defensemen day! Might as well start with the obvious…
-How about this Dmitry Orlov, eh? He got off to really lackluster start, but I’m getting more and more impressed with this kid. I bet he’ll be a swing player that no one sees coming. He went something like 20 shots without getting a goal, but he’s not a bad assist guy and he is rarely the direct cause of a goal against (unlike some d-men with more points who make a major defensive oopsie about biweekly).
-Okay, okay, we’ll talk about Chara. He’s a hundred feet tall and weighs three tons and can throw other players around like ragdolls. He’s also got 52 points, which is more than any of our d-men as well as all but two of our forwards. In our defense (ohohoho), Mike Green only played 32 games, some of which he was clearly not working at 100%. It’s been kinda tough overall to evaluate just how good this Caps team can be, since it’s not been all that many games that a full health Green and Backstrom and any of our goalie corps got to shine at the same time. On the other hand, Chara’s got a great shot at the Norris again this year. And speaking of great shots, let’s keep in mind his slapper can hit 108.8 mph oh my god under no circumstances should any of our guys try to shotblock.
-That said, I think it’s fair to call Green the other stand-out defenseman of this series. He plays a totally different style than Chara (who picked up the Norris the year Green was also nominated, not that I’m bitter…), and he’s shown that he can be utterly clutch when needs be. His nickname is “Game Over Green” due to his penchant for scoring OT winners.
-Does it annoy anyone else how people (by which I mean Canadians) call Chara “Chair-a”? C’mon. I have also heard on at least one occasion someone refer to him as “Zed-no.” Really? REALLY?
-The Broons’ number one d-pairing is Chara-Seidenberg (German!), which apparently manages to score points while still maintaining a creamy plus-minus AND averaging more TOI than any of our pairings, including Alzner-Carlson which is the most consistently paired duo. They do take way more penalties than us, though; Karlzon play like gentlemen in comparison. Which is all well in good if they’re looking to win the Lady Byng.
-In fact, the Big Bad Bruins are much more truculent while also being a higher-scoring team than us. I need to quit looking at stats — I’m pessimistic enough as it is. How about something light-hearted?
-The best thing that I can say about Roman Hamrlik: He’s a trained chef! So he’s got that going for him.
-Still, the best thing I can say about Joe Corvo is that his name is English for Jose Cuervo! I’ll bring the limes!
For information by people who actually know the Broons, rather than those who just open up the (lovely and wonderful) NHL.com stat pages and draw sweeping generalizations, check out A Cup A Bruin. More like BOOING, amirite?