I’m leery of accidentally jinxing the Capitals with what I’m about to say — after all, Holts had a shutout going until the NBCSN morons actually said it, because they hate the Caps — but for significant stretches of time this team reminded me of… well…

They reminded me of the 2009 Capitals. On multiple occasions they set up their PP-style cycle at even strength, they were putting on consistent pressure that created odd man rushes, and Ovechkin nearly scored while seated on the ice, which happened second most memorably in 2009 (the first most memorable being, of course, the goal).

Notes I Took During The Game:
-Brilliant start. We came out like a team with a major chip on our shoulder (which we were), and the Rangers didn’t know what to do. They didn’t regroup until about halfway through the first, and then only sporadically. We looked good. I mean, real good.

-Number 8 scored at 88 seconds in, which was a delight. I will give you zero dollars (Canadian) if you can guess how he beat Lundqvist. Plus, he had assists from 19 and 52, which bodes well. Green’s looking like he did in — well, you can probably guess.

-What a PK. With no Beagle and Laich in the box for the first one, that was huge. Anything after that would be trivial. Even a double minor. Killing that was a huge momentum swing and confidence boost for the Caps. Really exorcised the demons from last game.

-On that subject, are the Rangers blading or something? I’ve been hit in the face with a baseball hard enough for it to leave stitch imprints, and I’ve never started bleeding. Are these guys anemic?
» Continue reading “Capitals Force (Surprise, Surprise) Game 7 Against The Rangers”

I wrote recently about how, as much fun as a 3OT game is, it’s not good for a team planning a deep run. Neither is a Game 7. They’re both physically and mentally exhausting, and when other teams are finishing in fewer games and OTs (see: the West), it puts us at a serious disadvantage. Both teams were clearly feeling punished during the 3rd period of game 4, and that was with a 2 day break between games with no travel. Right now I’m watching the LA Kings steamroll the Blues in 4 games. Who do you think will be better equipped to face the next round: the Kings or whoever wins the WSH-NYR series, which is going to at least 6 games and already has one 3OT game?

Thrillingly, this might be one area in which the Capitals have a distinct advantage. We had two seasons of outlandish performance (G/G 09-10: 3.82; 08-09: 3.27). Then we had a season in which Mike Green played 32 games (G/G 10-11: 2.67) and a season in which Green played 49 games and Backstrom played 42 (G/G 11-12: 2.66). Consequently, we backed into a playoff spot on the last day of the regular season. The top 5 scorers on the #1-seeded Rangers (whose G/G is only 2.71) all played over 75 games. Backstrom still managed to be in the top 5 in points on the Caps despite playing only 42 games. And maybe I’m just projecting, but it seemed to me that the Rangers were in worse shape by the third period of game 4. You know, the period in which Mike Green scored the go-ahead goal and players such as Ryan “53:17 TOI” McDonagh were helpless to do anything.

I believe that the President’s Trophy is the indicator of which team is actually the best in the NHL: it’s the only environment in which the sample size is big enough, all the teams are under relatively similar conditions, and random events (such as injuries) have time to balance out. What the Stanley Cup playoffs test is luck (the winner is whoever’s goalie gets the hottest for the longest time, let’s not even pretend otherwise) and, to a lesser extent, ability to perform under pressure. Anyone watching the Capitals and the Rangers can tell that these teams are more or less evenly matched.

What it’s going to come down to (and already has, quite literally) is stamina, and here the Capitals have the edge. Puck Daddy ran an article asking if Dale Hunter was a genius or a goofball due to limiting the ice time of Ovechkin, Backstrom, and Semin. The ostensible reason is to play more defensively responsible guys as well as making it clear who was in charge (Hunter’s got a job in London no matter what, so his job security isn’t a factor), but an Ovie with only 13:36 TOI is an Ovie with fresh legs and manic amounts of energy. People have been taking pot shots at his conditioning, so if that’s the case, lowering his ice time might actually be the correct solution.

(Side note: Henrik Lundqvist played 62 games in the regular season, and Braden Holtby played 40 in the AHL and 7 in the NHL, which is still 15 games fewer at the most mentally stressful postion on the ice. However, goalies tend to get in a rhythm/streak more than skaters.)

Only time can tell. And that time is 7:30 on Monday. (See things from the enemy’s perspective over at Black & Blueshirts.)

In other news, beloved Capitals color commentator Craig Laughlin is having surgery during the offseason. Best wishes from your number 2 fan (after Joe B)!

I’m terribly excited the action has moved to DC. I just finished reading American Pyscho, and frankly I’ve had enough of Manhattan. Patrick Bateman is one of the creepiest protagonists (or at least designated protagonists) in modern American lit.

Wait… extremely good-looking, well-dressed, physically fit, wealthy man who spends his downtime at the coolest restaurants and bars in NYC? I guess I should be relieved Henrik Lundqvist (Reebok sweater, glove, blocker, stick, helmet and pads all by Bauer) didn’t mistake Mojo (Reebok sweater, Reebok shorts, helmet and gloves by Bauer) for a hardbody at Dorsia and kill him with an ax.

To continue with the theme of relentless narcissism, I found this quote in an entry by moi from last season’s Rangers series:

[Ovechkin]’s always been able to bring his game to another level when the situation calls for it, but now it seems like he’s bringing the rest of the team with him. The reason we made him captain was because he steps up and scores the big goal when we need it. In game 1, that wasn’t a pretty highlight reel goal that left Gretzky speechless, it was an in-the-trenches garbage goal with no glamour or flash.

I’m not saying, I’m just saying.

Anyway, how about some link salad:

Here’s Ryan Lambert (@twolinepass) writing sarcastically over at Puck Buddys because they bought his and Chemmy’s (@felixpotvin) services for the second round. It’s a nice antidote to the millions of “LOOK AT OVIE’S ICE TIME” articles circling around (not that I would ever write such a thing please don’t look at my last post).

Here’s the less sarcastic examination of Hunter’s thought process in lightening Ovechkin’s ice time, though it makes more or less the same point.

Since yesterday was May Day, people have been celebrating Alan May (@MayHockeyCSN) all across twitter, and this article came up. If the idea of rats doesn’t make you immediately vomit thanks to American Psycho, I would suggest reading it! It’s the saga of Alan May rooming with Hall-of-Famer Dino Ciccarelli (and you can tell it’s really written by him, because the writer clearly has only a tenuous grasp on spelling and grammar).

On a totally different tack, here’s the confirmation that Evgeny Kuznetsov will be playing in the KHL for 2 more years, because he wants to represesnt Russia at the Olympics, and pretty much every Russian player not already in the NHL is being held emotionally hostage. If you jump ship to the land of good hockey and guaranteed money, you won’t get picked. Aren’t Russian politics fun?

And of course I would be remiss if I didn’t link my opposite number over on the Intermission Report. Great article on Tortorella, whom I find to be the least objectionable member of the Rangers (and also the man with the most Pokemon-like name).

Game 3 on NBCSports at 7:30. Be there or be square (and it’s not hip to be square!).

As any hockey fan knows, the Hockey Gods will always balance things in the end. There were only two heart-breaking goalposts for the Rangers this game, but they were absolute daggers. Things broke the Capitals’ way this game — but it’s not like that was entirely luck, either.

The Caps raised the intensity level, managing 25 shots rather than just 18 — still not great, but they weren’t the lackluster and effortless team they were in game 1. Dale Hunter also got a little passive-aggressive with his players, putting Sasha Semin on the 4th line (for a little bit, at least), and giving Ovechkin a mere 13:36 of ice time (3:00 of which was on the power play). In comparison, Jay Beagle got nearly 20 minutes of ice time.

Still, does it matter when this happens? Nothing like scoring 30 seconds after the “Ovi sucks!” cheer begins, and with the game-winner.

There were 3 PP each along with a 4-on-4, each team managing to convert once, and if there weren’t an even more obvious candidate, I might have given the SPICY award to the Rangers PP squad to share, because that was as picturesque a power play as I’ve ever seen. Sure, it helped that the Caps played a timid box formation and didn’t manage to clear for aeons, but credit where credit is due. Other SPICY consideration goes to Mike Knuble for scoring the first goal and showing some great hustle to beat Michael Del Zotto on an icing during the crucial final minutes (that’s an 18 year age difference!).
» Continue reading “WAS-NYR 1-1 Heading To DC”

Okay, the whole 3 goals on 14 shots thing is unforgiveable. But there’s not a whole lot you can do to “fix” a goalie in two days. Holtby wasn’t able to concentrate when no one was shooting on him for the majority of the game, which sounds Sidney Crosby-like in its whininess but as someone who has played goalie in a game where there wasn’t a shot on my net for the first 5 minutes, I can tell you that he has at least a semblance of a point. Not only is it hard to stay focused, but there’s also this sort of rising panic. Stopping your first shot of the game is profoundly important for a goalie’s psyche, and while Holtby is a paid professional, he is also someone prone to superstition and routine. No good to let an antsy neurotic goalie fester with nothing to do.

What really irks me is the failure of Washington to capitalize on the power play.* We went 0-for-4, which is unconscionable. It doesn’t take an eagle eye** to see that we need the major powers to produce more. The shot leaders were Semin with 3 and Johansson with 2. Ovie and Backstrom had 1 apiece despite getting monumental*** PP time. Ovechkin should be positively sheepish**** about that game — I know the Rangers are focusing some serious D on the Capitals captain, but individuals such as Hendricks receiving exactly 0:00 of power play time are still managing 1 shots on goal, and if you’re getting nearly four and a half minutes, I don’t think it’s excessive to expect legitimate production.

But that’s pretty much always been the book on the Capitals. When Ovechkin and Backstrom, Semin and Green are clicking, we’re nigh-unbeatable. The Ovechkin-Backstrom-Knuble line was our bread and butter, because Backstrom could get the amazing pass to Ovechkin, and if Ovie didn’t pot it, Knuble would be there to slam home the rebound. When our top guys don’t get it done, we look like the Stars — somewhere on the boundary between playoffs and tee time. I guess what we really look like are this year’s Capitals. And frankly, that’s not good enough for this team or their fans.

The team, and especially Brooks Laich, pretty much concur, saying they needed to clean up their game. Mythical Beast Jason Chimera decried the effort level, and “several players” were not happy with the intensity. I agree. The Capitals looked sluggish, they fell apart in the 3rd, and they managed a pathetic number of shots on goal. But I’m not despairing. I think they can still steal a game at MSG before coming home.

*This is to mark every awful pun I make in this paragraph. 1!
*2!
***3! Like the Washington Monument, eh? Eh?
****4! This is a pun in Russian, I promise.

Game’s at 7:30 on NBCSports. Read about the competish over at the Intermission Report, though I’m told Black and Blueshirts will be up shortly.

It’s okay guys. Ovie’s got this. (NSFW language)
» Continue reading “A Motivational Message From Captain Alex Ovechkin”

The Capitals decide they want to cut another year or so off my lifespan and drop Game 6. Now we’ll see the Bruins in Boston on Wednesday for a Game 7 that is far too far in the future. I frankly dread seeing Professor Bruins Fan — in fact, the last time I ever see him will be Wednesday afternoon! I’ll never get to see his reaction or experience his taunting! Now I’m depressed all over again.

In a bit of poeticism, Mike Green scored his first goal since October 22 yesterday, which was Earth Day. This is is second goal in the playoffs, but he is also +5. Dear me. And even more surprisingly, so is Roman Hamrlik! I suppose I’ll have to stop hating him, which is fine, because I can easily replace that hate with some for Dennis “-4″ Wideman. Thank God Hunter benched Jeff Schultz. I’d rather have a slightly menacing John Erskine skating around harmlessly. Mike Knuble also got his first playoff goal this weekend, which caused my friend and I no small amount of glee. How come Hunts hasn’t figured out how to use him effectively? Stick him in the crease on the power play and watch the magic happen.

I’m not one to begrudge a rival’s talented play, and I have nothing but adulation for Tyler Seguin’s gorgeous OT winner. Holtby commited to taking away the angle by sneaking up to the edge of the crease, and Seguin simply out-waited him and shot into the gapingly open net. Dennis Wideman (useless paperweight that he is) leapt valiantly in an attempt to block it, but it was too late. So I’ll give Tyler Seguin his propers…

…only to rip them away moments later. From the Puck Daddy article:

You won’t believe me, but when I was going down the wing, the first thing that came to my mind was to pass, and then to shoot it off his head.

That’s really f***ing classy, Mr. Seguin. I know, I shouldn’t expect anything but trashy from someone who has his surname tattooed down his bicep in Gothic characters, but really? Joking about head shots in this NHL climate? You’re lucky Brendan Shanahan doesn’t bench your ass for a game. I find that comment genuinely repulsive. It’s like Boston sports teams are actively trying to make you detest them. Well, you’ve succeeded.
» Continue reading “Capitals-Bruins Going To Game 7″

I picked up a copy of The Kitchen God’s Wife by Amy Tan at the English department’s used book sale ($1!). It’s a favourite of my mother’s, and I read it in high school, but I thought I was due for a refresher, and our copy is really beat up anyway. This, naturally, gave me a hankering for Chinese food, and no Chinese meal would be complete without… a fortune cookie.

So what pieces of ancient Chinese wisdom did I recieve?

Don’t take life too seriously; laugh and smile at it once in a while.

Okay, that sounds pretty apt to me. I take playoff hockey extremely seriously. OT especially makes me a nervous wreck: my heart starts beating faster, I get nauseous, I start to think I’d rather not watch the game than deal with the pressure. So maybe it’s a hint to lighten up and to realize that it’s not the end of the world.

But how can we apply this wisdom on a broader level? I think it’s a sign that the Caps will play a game that is looser defensively, but more effective offensively. On home ice, maybe they will feel comfortable enough to score more than 1 goal. I don’t want the Ovechkin Offensive Blitz Superstar at the expense of the final score, but Holtby has shown himself to be (more than?) competent at the playoff level, and if the Bruins don’t actively try to mitigate him (he is far too confident for a guy with 2 whole games of playoff exp, for one), he could easily keep playing at the level he does. And wouldn’t that be a shame for the Bruins? I don’t think the defense should loosen up, but this fortune seems to imply that Ovie, Backs, and Semin should play like they’re having fun out there.

And on the flip side:

Learn Chinese – South
南 (nan)
Lucky Numbers: 25, 19, 55, 26, 27, 29

How auspicious! The “south” is easy enough to interpret: the action is moving south to DC, where we’ll have home ice, uh, “advantage” (not a huge deal this postseason!). But the numbers? Oh Lord, the numbers…

Chimera is the king of creating breakaways, thanks to his mythical speed. Bäckström was already the OT hero last game, besides being one of the best set-up men in the league and absolutely deadly with Ovechkin. Schultz has been pretty much invisible during the playoffs, not that he’s ever all that visible anyway: maybe he shuts down the Bruins when they’re on the power play, maybe he blocks some shots, maybe he throws a hit with his 6-6/230 body!

Okay, that just sounds silly. Too bad they are no shootouts in the postseason, because Hendricks is money. No, I’m kidding. I don’t care how good he is, nothing makes me want more shootouts. Alzner has been great this whole time, so I can’t ask more of him than what he’s already doing. Keep on keepin’ on, Alzner. Maybe play extra-defensively so Carlson can show off his sexy laser beam shots.

And 29? Well, 8+21=29, so I predict that the first goal of the game is scored by Alex Ovechkin off a pass from Brooks Laich! That’s foolproof logic there! Let’s go Caps!

Time for me to put on my Mark Messier-designed concussion-proof helmet and do some real live hockey analysis. Today: FORWARDS~!

Looking at the page of stats NHL.com has generously given the world, there are some sweeping generalizations to make. Let’s approach them in bulleted form:

-There are no 30-goal scorers. [points, laughs] The Capitals have one in Alex Ovechkin.

-They do, however, have 6 guys with 20+ goals, one with 29 and one with 28 (those would be Tyler Seguin and Brad Marchand). The Caps drop off dramatically from 38 goals with Ovie, then Semin with 21, and Chimera (?!) with 20. Hmmph.

-There are, however, four 60+ point scorers. (Seguin, Patrice Bergeron, David Krejci, and Milan Lucic). The Caps… have Ovechkin.

-Bergeron, Krejci, and Seguin also have the highest assist totals, which is understandable since they’re all centers.

Wait, WHAT?

That’s like, Pittsburgh-caliber s*** right there. Are you freaking KIDDING me? Their top three centers all have more points than our number 1 assist guy, who happens to be SEMIN, which is a huge problem all on its own. Milan Lucic, NOT A CENTER, has more assists than anyone on our team. Argh.

-Milan Lucic also manages to have 135 PIM, compared to our leader of Matt Hendricks with 95. Lucic is 6’4″ 220, while Hendy is 6′ 211. And he’s not even their number one fighter! That would be Shawn Thornton. And since it’s forwards day, I can’t even mention the Eastern Bloc nuclear experiment capable of throwing other players around like ragdolls. If we even try to get physical, the best case scenario is getting laughed out of the garden. Worst case: Milan Lucic gets convicted of manslaughter.

-I’m done. This is a horrible mismatch. They have plus-minuses through the roof. Their shooting percentages are spread more evenly than freshly rolled fondant. They’ve got guys with 60+% faceoff wins. I bet their Corsi ratings would make a madam blush.

-We have a wild imblance between our good guys and our meh guys. Ovechkin and Semin have been playing great, and our stats are skewed by the fact that Backstrom only played 42 games, because I can only hope that he would prove to be a better set-up man than MILAN LUCIC. With the exception of our top guys, they seem to just be better man-for-man. Shawn Thornton has more points than Matt Hendricks, who was at least nominally not signed for his toughness, and his hands are made of cement. He really was signed for how well he can reconstruct someone’s face! Argh!

Well, after that descent into hysterics, I can’t imagine why you WOUDLN’T swing by tomorrow, when I will break down the defensemen like Chara could break down a Cadillac… WITH MY BARE HANDS. Check out A Cup A Bruin if you’d like the evil perspective on the series, and leave anonymous taunting comments!

(Note: I do not advocate leaving anonymous taunting comments on the Bruins blog.)

(Feel free to do it on the Steelers blog, though!)

Joe B: Since we are OBLIGATED, the Caps player of the game is Karl Alzner. He was not on the ice for any goals against, and played 18 minutes.

Locker: Slim pickins tonight, right?

Ouch. This, incidentally, was my second favorite bit of banter between our beloved commentation crew; my favorite bit was discussing the intermission “shoot a puck from center ice and win a car” contest, when Locker said something along the lines of, “9 out of 10 times I could make that,” and Joe B kept insisting “no, 10 out of 10! You had 30 goals one season! And no empty nets!”

It was, as the kids say, totes adorbs.
» Continue reading “Capitals No Longer Masters Of Fates/Captains Of Souls”