Well.

This is the part where I say something self-effacing, like, “Hah, well, we can’t expect another lucky break,” or “I say, that was a good effort and an implausible series, eh wot?” (for some reason I am imagining these in a British accent). But I can’t really muster that up. Instead, I’m feeling something more along the lines of

AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Which is an approximate representation of my feelings after the game. My friend, with whom I was watching the game, had to follow me onto the quad with my shoes, screaming that I had forgotten them (in between screaming “WE WOOOOOOOOOOOOON!!!!!!”).

Then I made everyone go to Dunkin Donuts so we could get some Boston Brewin’ (graceful in victory? I never.) and received some delightful texts, such as “Bruins in 9,” which was a response to the fact that I never wavered from my “Bruins in 5″ prediction.

The OT winning goal (what a heart attack phrase!) was scored by: Joel Ward. You know, the Predators playoff hero whom we signed to a long(ish) and expensive(ish) contract after his stellar play in the postseason last year. He hadn’t impressed us… so far. Now he scores the most important goal so far this season. (Want to read something that will make you feel truly awful about humanity? Check out the classy reactions of the hockey fan world to this goal. It’s not just Boston that’s full of racists — it’s everywhere!) (Now, to make you feel better after that, why not listen to radio guy John Walton’s call? Don’t worry, it incorporates the phrase “GOOD MORNING, GOOD AFTERNOON, AND GOOD NIGHT, BOSTON!” which I think must be his catchphrase.)

The primary assist went to Michael Rudolph Knuble — and if you don’t know how I feel about him, you probably haven’t been a longtime reader. Shame on you!

But the big name, the one to whom we owe this entire series success, is no surprise. Braden expletive deleted Holtby. What a netminder. What a beauty. He held us together through this entire ordeal, and this game wasn’t a cakewalk. He put up with some weirdo stuff, like Rich Peverley taking a baseball swing at his head, and maintained his sass and gloveliness the whole time. (Delightful article on him by The Goalie Guild that incorporates the phrase “goalie swagger,” like all great pieces of writing should).

With that done, let’s look towards the future: there are a bunch of options for who we will face next round, and by a bunch I mean: the Rangers, or the Flyers, or the Panthers, depending on how Thursday’s games pan out. Ahem…

If the Rangers win, that’s who we play. If the Senators win, we play the Panthers (if they win) or the Flyers (if the Devils win). Personally, I won’t be sad to see the Rangers — Hank’s weakness has always been high glove side, and the last Game 7 we won was against them — but the Panthers have their potential as well (we’ve already seen them, what, 1600 times this year?). I personally believe that the Rangers and Devils will win, because two nights ago I dreamt that Marty Brodeur and Ilya Bryzgalov were swing dancing together, and if that’s not a premonition, I don’t know what is.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have an email to send my favorite professor. I think it will read something like this:

It’s okay guys. Ovie’s got this. (NSFW language)
» Continue reading “A Motivational Message From Captain Alex Ovechkin”

Like anyone with an internet connection and slightly obsessive tendencies, I heard about Dale Hunter’s comment that Game 7 should be “fun” and that the players should “have fun with it.” I have to admit, I’m skeptical.

Hockey is fun, yes. And watching hockey is likewise fun. Frankly, these last few weeks have been the best weeks of my senior year. I watched part of a Senators game yesterday. And liked it. I started crying when the Coyotes won a playoff series for the first time ever, because Shane Doan is the world’s nicest man (also, his nickname sounds like one of my favorite foods).

But fun? Not so sure about that. Sure, it’s fun for a little bit. It’s like a roller coaster: the nervous anticipation, your heart pounding, bile rising in your throat as you look ahead, and finally, the relief of diving. But roller coasters last, like, 3 minutes. Game 7 lasts 60, and probably more, because the Capitals, like all hockey teams, only want to punish you for loving them. It’ll be fun right up until one of the teams scores and you become a gibbering nervous wreck, desperate either to keep up or maintain. Frankly, I think Carlson had it right:

It’s a war.

And let’s give ABBA the last word:

(If the embed won’t work, here’s the link.)

It’s a one game series now. Let’s get it done: tomorrow, 7:30, CSN (or NBCSports).

The Capitals decide they want to cut another year or so off my lifespan and drop Game 6. Now we’ll see the Bruins in Boston on Wednesday for a Game 7 that is far too far in the future. I frankly dread seeing Professor Bruins Fan — in fact, the last time I ever see him will be Wednesday afternoon! I’ll never get to see his reaction or experience his taunting! Now I’m depressed all over again.

In a bit of poeticism, Mike Green scored his first goal since October 22 yesterday, which was Earth Day. This is is second goal in the playoffs, but he is also +5. Dear me. And even more surprisingly, so is Roman Hamrlik! I suppose I’ll have to stop hating him, which is fine, because I can easily replace that hate with some for Dennis “-4″ Wideman. Thank God Hunter benched Jeff Schultz. I’d rather have a slightly menacing John Erskine skating around harmlessly. Mike Knuble also got his first playoff goal this weekend, which caused my friend and I no small amount of glee. How come Hunts hasn’t figured out how to use him effectively? Stick him in the crease on the power play and watch the magic happen.

I’m not one to begrudge a rival’s talented play, and I have nothing but adulation for Tyler Seguin’s gorgeous OT winner. Holtby commited to taking away the angle by sneaking up to the edge of the crease, and Seguin simply out-waited him and shot into the gapingly open net. Dennis Wideman (useless paperweight that he is) leapt valiantly in an attempt to block it, but it was too late. So I’ll give Tyler Seguin his propers…

…only to rip them away moments later. From the Puck Daddy article:

You won’t believe me, but when I was going down the wing, the first thing that came to my mind was to pass, and then to shoot it off his head.

That’s really f***ing classy, Mr. Seguin. I know, I shouldn’t expect anything but trashy from someone who has his surname tattooed down his bicep in Gothic characters, but really? Joking about head shots in this NHL climate? You’re lucky Brendan Shanahan doesn’t bench your ass for a game. I find that comment genuinely repulsive. It’s like Boston sports teams are actively trying to make you detest them. Well, you’ve succeeded.
» Continue reading “Capitals-Bruins Going To Game 7″

…and, thanks to Detroit’s elimination at the hands of Nashville, they will then ship back down to DC for the Sunday afternoon game as well.

Today is a great day for hockey fans without much to do, because aside from the Caps-Bruins matinee, there’s FLA-NJD at 6:30, NYR-OTT at 7, STL-SJS at 7:30 (elimination alert!), and PHX-CHI at 10 (elimination alert!). That’s plenty of time to try and party as hard as Tyler Seguin (l) and Brad Marchand can…
» Continue reading “Capitals Ship Up To Boston”

IT’S BEST OF THREE, BABY!!!

The requisite shout-outs to Marcus Johansson and Alex Semin for their lovely goals:
Brooks Laich banks the puck off the glass, trying to clear to Ovechkin, who gets tangled up so Laicher has to take care of it himself, which he does, threading the needle through Brian Rolston to get it to Mojo, who snipes it Semin-style. Speaking of…
GUHH. Semin’s gorgeous PP snipe that whizzed by Thomas’ glove before he could say “Don’t shoot on me!” We should call Semin the DC Sniper. No, wait, we shouldn’t.

But again, the star the of game was Braden effin Holtby. At least THREE of his saves looked exactly like the picture to the right, and each time I shrieked “GLOVELY!” in a way that I’m sure made my neighbor want to call campus police.

And that’s not to mention my reaction when a) Mojo scored, b) Sasha scored, and c) when we actually won.

Jeff Schultz was scratched in favor of John Erskine, in case things got Heated. And it turns out, after a look-see through the box scores, that Shawn Thornton has actually been on the B’s roster this whole series, but the camera didn’t follow him lovingly until this game, when it lasered in on him every time Thornton and Erskine made eye contact.

And, because every cloud has silver lining, Nicklas Bäckström’s replacement was Mike Knuble and his moose-like tenacity in shaking his rear in a goalie’s face. While he wasn’t actively involved in any of the goals, he still looked effective. There were a couple near misses! And I really really want Mike Knuble to be playing. With all my heart. It never hurts to have more of those lunch pail guys.
» Continue reading “Capitals Tie Up Series With Bruins”

I agree with the Washington Capitals re: the Bäckström suspension. I think all Brendan Shanahan did was spin the Wheel of Justice and maybe think, “oh, I botched the first judgement I did on a star player, I’ll make up for it by botching another one in the other direction.” This BS makes me so furious I can’t think, and reinforces my decision to loathe all Boston sports teams with a passion usually reserved for enemies of the state. (An ex-boyfriend once told me he loved me when I started crying because of how morally repugnant the Red Sox and their fans are.)

Instead let’s focus on some positives. Holtby has been keeping things close. Alzner and Lucic might make things interesting tonight. Tim Thomas got his Libertarian on. Umm… a seagull pooped on Tyler Seguin? Mike Green was the Caps representative in Cosmo’s hottest hockey guys. And what about a video of CSN sportscaster Michael Jenkins doing karaoke to Bell Biv Devoe’s Poison? Meh. Wake me up when Joe B and Locker do You’re My Best Friend by Queen.

In other Caps news, the Baltimore Hockey Classic will be held on September 26 in Baltimore against the Columbus Blue Jackets. You think that’s exciting?
» Continue reading “Capitals Vs Bruins: Game 4″

It looks like a little bit of the Penguins-Flyers hullabaloo rubbed off on the Bruins and Capitals, who decided to get chippy at a few points in yesterday’s game. Poor ol’ Brendan Shanahan was too tired from all the justice for the Pennsylvania game that he hasn’t had a chance to hand down the judgements for our to-do. RMNB has some predictions up for what the suspensions will be, but it looks like the official call won’t come out until tomorrow.

Instead of making my own guess, I’m going to draw cards randomly from a stack and make inferences. Because fortune-telling worked so well last time! (In my defense, Brooks Laich and Alex Ovechkin got the assists on Semin’s goal.)

Actually, if I can digress: I might have been wrong about Chimera and Hendricks, but Jeff Schultz (with Wides) was pretty much directly responsible for the Paille goal. And Backstrom, uh, had quite an eventful game. And Karl Alzner, well…

» Continue reading “Backstrom Possible Suspension?”

I picked up a copy of The Kitchen God’s Wife by Amy Tan at the English department’s used book sale ($1!). It’s a favourite of my mother’s, and I read it in high school, but I thought I was due for a refresher, and our copy is really beat up anyway. This, naturally, gave me a hankering for Chinese food, and no Chinese meal would be complete without… a fortune cookie.

So what pieces of ancient Chinese wisdom did I recieve?

Don’t take life too seriously; laugh and smile at it once in a while.

Okay, that sounds pretty apt to me. I take playoff hockey extremely seriously. OT especially makes me a nervous wreck: my heart starts beating faster, I get nauseous, I start to think I’d rather not watch the game than deal with the pressure. So maybe it’s a hint to lighten up and to realize that it’s not the end of the world.

But how can we apply this wisdom on a broader level? I think it’s a sign that the Caps will play a game that is looser defensively, but more effective offensively. On home ice, maybe they will feel comfortable enough to score more than 1 goal. I don’t want the Ovechkin Offensive Blitz Superstar at the expense of the final score, but Holtby has shown himself to be (more than?) competent at the playoff level, and if the Bruins don’t actively try to mitigate him (he is far too confident for a guy with 2 whole games of playoff exp, for one), he could easily keep playing at the level he does. And wouldn’t that be a shame for the Bruins? I don’t think the defense should loosen up, but this fortune seems to imply that Ovie, Backs, and Semin should play like they’re having fun out there.

And on the flip side:

Learn Chinese – South
南 (nan)
Lucky Numbers: 25, 19, 55, 26, 27, 29

How auspicious! The “south” is easy enough to interpret: the action is moving south to DC, where we’ll have home ice, uh, “advantage” (not a huge deal this postseason!). But the numbers? Oh Lord, the numbers…

Chimera is the king of creating breakaways, thanks to his mythical speed. Bäckström was already the OT hero last game, besides being one of the best set-up men in the league and absolutely deadly with Ovechkin. Schultz has been pretty much invisible during the playoffs, not that he’s ever all that visible anyway: maybe he shuts down the Bruins when they’re on the power play, maybe he blocks some shots, maybe he throws a hit with his 6-6/230 body!

Okay, that just sounds silly. Too bad they are no shootouts in the postseason, because Hendricks is money. No, I’m kidding. I don’t care how good he is, nothing makes me want more shootouts. Alzner has been great this whole time, so I can’t ask more of him than what he’s already doing. Keep on keepin’ on, Alzner. Maybe play extra-defensively so Carlson can show off his sexy laser beam shots.

And 29? Well, 8+21=29, so I predict that the first goal of the game is scored by Alex Ovechkin off a pass from Brooks Laich! That’s foolproof logic there! Let’s go Caps!

There’s something to be said about listening to the game on the radio. I spent yesterday at another college campus (I’ll call it “Safety School“) and didn’t get on the road until about 5. “Maybe I’ll get the last few minutes of the third,” I thought naively.

Instead I was treated to an entire fourth period plus nearly three minutes of a fifth. Poor everyone in the car who was sleeping, because when I heard John Walton shriek “BACKSTROM SCORES!” I cranked the radio and started shrieking myself. They needed to be awake to hear the glory, anyway (“GOOD MORNING, GOOD AFTERNOON, AND GOOD NIGHT, BOSTON!”).

I absolutely adore Backstrom. I even like him more than Ovechkin, which was a more controversial statement a few years ago. There’s this pure beauty to the way he plays — he has a distinctive skating style that makes him instantly discernible from everyone else on the ice and fantastic hands that make seemingly-impossible passes. He’s also got hockey smarts: rarely takes stupid penalties (Semin), rarely out of position, rarely the direct cause of goals due to defensive irresponsibility (WIDEMAN). And while I generally prefer atheletes to show a modicum of personality off-ice, at least he hasn’t embarrassed himself. They can’t all be Ilya Bryzgalov (who occasionally skews “embarrassing” anyway).

Major ups to Holtby as well, for keeping us in the game (his series SV% is .972; Thomas’ is .975). This series is basically the opposite of the PIT-PHI: excellent goaltending and the lowest number of PIM of all the series. (In fairness, the battle of Pennsylvania has been amazing.)

Nice to have the series tied up when we return home, but home ice advantage hasn’t been all that important this postseason. No home team has won both games, and the Kings and the Flyers have swept the away games so far. The only advantage it might give us is in cliched jokes, if either Obama or a cavalcade of Obama masks shows up.

It’s a best of 5 now! Catch the action Monday, 7:30 on NBCSports or the local channel.