Adieu, Dennis Wideman. We barely knew you, and yet we knew you as much as we’d like.

Faithful readers will know that there is no love lost between myself and Wideman. I coined the term “Widemanesque” after game 5 of the WSH-NYR series, meaning “awful” or “disappointing” or “the worst ever.” I nicknamed him Dennis “NHL All-Star?” Wideman and Dennis “Useless Paperweight” Wideman. I was not convinced that he was an All-Star and totally let down by him during the playoffs.

And yet he was. Dennis Wideman was the only Capital to make it to the All-Star Game. He was 4th on the team in scoring (11-35-46). He led the team in ice time, averaging 23:54 in the regular season. On paper, he was perfectly satisfactory.

I think it’s most accurate to see him as disappointing. We paid him $4 million and expected him to take some of the pressure off Mike Green (as a dynamic defenseman capable of scoring) and be the final piece of a Stanley Cup-caliber team. He failed to do this, and worse, he didn’t seem to be disciplined for his mistakes.

Maybe it’s shallow to assume it was merely some form of hockey nepotism — Dennis Wideman and John Carlson (21:51) had the most and second most TOI/G on the team. They finished -8 and -15. Mike Green and Karl Alzner both had less ice time and a +/- of +5 and +12, respectively. But when Alex Ovechkin’s dwindling ice time is held up as an indication of the hardline stance Hunter was taking, it seems suspicious that two underperformers are not penalized… and are both former London Knights.

Because he was supposed to be better than this, it was all the worse when he was out of position, or made sloppy turnovers, or indirectly caused a goal against. I could’ve handled that sort of behavior from Jeff Schultz (not been pleased about it, mind you, but my expectations for Jeff Schultz are relatively low). I expected competent defense with a soupcon of scoring — the above-average scoring did not excuse the sometimes trainwreck defense. He was pretty good when he was good. He was a genuine liability when he wasn’t.

By trading Wideman rather than letting him walk as a UFA, we received a 5th-round pick in the 2013 draft and defenseman Jordan Henry from the Flames. They promptly signed him to a 5-year, $26.25 million deal with a full no movement clause. The best word I have to describe that deal? Widemanesque.

Adam Oates has been confirmed as the new head coach of the Washington Capitals. I think I speak for all the Caps fans (or at least the ones familiar with the franchise [insert bandwagoner joke here]) when I say, “Yeah, we saw that coming.” I personally have spent the last month or so isolating myself from much of the internet, and if you asked me for a shortlist of possible Caps coaches it would’ve consisted of Adam Oates, and, uh, could you please give me a little more time to think? (Fun fact: the avatar for my tumblr is, and has been since its inception, a picture of Adams Oates, admittedly because he is dressed as a private detective complete with trenchcoat and fedora.)

He has enjoyed a great deal of success as an assistant coach with the New Jersey Devils, in charge of the power play, and, as anyone could have suspected, he parlayed their Stanley Cup berth into a promotion.

Fan fact for nerds: Adam Oates played 1337 NHL games, making him truly one of the elite. As it were.

Fun fact for hockey fans: In those 1337 games (341-1079-1420), he played 387 for the Capitals, going 73-290-363. What bearing does this have on his ability to coach? None whatsoever.

I’m glad he has NHL coaching experience — one of the problems I suspected with Hunter was that, as an OHL coach, he was used to having a lot more control and influence on the players. Oates is used to dealing with players who are already fully or mostly formed, rather than trying to mold them to prepare them for a higher level. He also won’t have to (or at least feel like he has to) play whatever the male equivalent of “den mother” is.

Oates created a successful and (more importantly?) fun to watch, up-tempo power play in New Jersey, which is what GMGM said he was looking for — now can this translate to an entire philosophy? Again? It’s the polar opposite of Hunter’s ethos, which should make our top line (and number one pairing, for that matter) happy. And Oates was apparently looking for the job: NJ GM Lou Lamoriello gave him permission to speak to one team re: a coaching position. Now all that’s left is to see if he can get the team to buy into it, as GMGM put it.

And on a side note,Oates was also inducted into the Hockey Hall of Fame.. So, not a bad day.*

*It’s your responsibility to make the “Hall and Oates” pun. I’m not going to do it.

Well, another draft has come and gone, and the Capitals have made a teensy bit of a splash during it. The most exciting part, of course, is when Gary Bettman toddles up on stage between picks and says, “I have a trade to announce.” Then the entire hockey world holds its breath, right up until he says the Blue Jackets and the Panthers have swapped picks or something equally mundane. Then everyone boos him and he pretends not to notice.

The Capitals contributed to this excitement by acquiring Mike Ribeiro from the Dallas Stars (for Cody Eakin and a second round pick), in the hopes that he would fill that vital 2C role. Mike Green and Alex Ovechkin both tweeted a warm welcome in which they misspelled Ribeiro.

Twitter featured in another bit of draft intrigue. With the 16th pick, the Caps selected Canadian right wing Thomas Wilson… but the official twitter account @washcaps tweeted that we had picked Teuvo Teravainen, who ended up getting taken by the Blackhawks two picks later. A shame, because I dearly wanted a Finn around.

In a move that will surprise absolutely no one, we took a Swedish centerman with our first pick, Filip Forsberg, though he says that he will play another year in Sweden. We also loaded up on Americans — three of them are currently playing in the USA U-18 program (who won the U-18 gold medal at the last WJC), and one has moved on from it to play at Notre Dame. Go USA Hockey!

We picked up only one goalie, with our last pick (and he was the last goalie taken in the draft). And at 5’11″, Sergei Kostenko is one of the shortest goalies in the draft. The Goalie Guild made note:

Drafted goalie breakdown by height: Two at 6’5 | Five at 6’4 | Three at 6’3 | Five at 6’2 | Seven at 6’1 | One each at 6’0 and 5’11

Gone are the days of Allan “Tiny Goalie” Bester; now you’ve got to be over the 6-foot mark to get noticed. Still, Kostenko rocked a 2.98 goals-against average and .897 save percentage in 40 games in Russia’s AHL equivalent, and apparently we’ve been watching him for 3 years, which is crazy since even the Goalie Guild didn’t know who he was. That’s the true definition of off the radar!

» Continue reading “Capitals Draft Results”

The Capitals, as you may well have guessed, did not clean up at the awards. In fact, only one Capital even got a vote for any award: Marcus Johansson, who came in 23rd for the Lady Byng. Apparently someone looked at his stats, saw 8 PIM, and thought, “Better not overthink it.”

More excitingly, the Capitals received some gentle mockery! After the success of the 2010 digital shorts featuring Bobby “Silver” Ryan and his gold-medal-winning teammates, the NHL has embraced the humorous skit format. Will Arnett had a series of shorts where he played Brendan Shanahan and handed out suspensions for trivial offenses (Will Arnett has a long history of Brendan Shanahan love). The joke in this one was, I assume, that Alex Ovechkin would never drive a Honda. Or possibly that he isn’t good at parking. Both equally true. Also delightful: MIKE GREEN MOPED JOKES. I think I speak for everyone in the entire world when I say we aren’t sick of them.

Maybe next year the Caps will do something to merit awards, but until then, we have only October 12 vs. NJD to look forward to. (And the draft. That’s tomorrow!)

General Manager George McPhee, commonly known around these parts as GMGM, has confirmed that Mike Knuble will NOT be back as a member of our Washington Capitals.

It’s well known around these parts that I’m a fan of Mike Knuble. Perhaps the entry on the night of his 1000th game will jog your memory if you did not recall that fact. Mike Knuble is OUTLANDISHLY important to my life.

There is one friend with whom it is inviolate tradition to begin every evening of joyous celebration with a toast “To Mike Knuble!” and may the gods strike us if we forget.

Another friend who knows nothing of hockey whatsoever, but has committed to memory that, as I once said to her, “I cannot be friends with anyone who does not know who Mike Knuble is,” and henceforth has made mention to me, “Annie? Uh, Mike Knuble? I remember that, but why?”

And a third, who, when I said “MIKE KNUBLE GONE WHY” replied “OH GOD NO” despite having no interest in hockey herself.

To those reactions, let me add:

» Continue reading “The Departure of Knuble”