Blackhawks Magazine is a funny publication — it’s like a legitimate sports rag had a baby with “Tiger Beat.” Articles about the Blackhawks’ history and scouting the rookie class co-mingle with ridiculousness like John Scott playing Dear Abby and giving out advice (not kidding) or learning about Snarples, which is apparently some sort of Canadian card game with confusing rules (also not kidding).
Every time there’s a new issue, I have to go pick one up. It would be my Blackhawks guilty pleasure if I were capable of feeling guilt over something pleasurable.
The Blackhawks were asked to fill out their yearly questionnaires, and their answers appear in the magazine (along with a picture of them modeling the latest in Blackhawks attire, of course). This year, they asked the players what their “pump-up jam” is. Here are most of their answers. (None of them said “Pump Up The Jam,” which makes me a little disappointed.)
Bryan Bickell: “Not Afraid,” Eminem
Bickell has picked the most generic “pump-up” song in recent memory, also known as “Remember ‘Lose Yourself’? Yeah, it’s kinda like that, except not as good.”
Dave Bolland: David Guetta
Oh please tell me Bolland shakes his ass to this song.
Daniel Carcillo: “Baba O’Riley,” The Who
No mockery from me. Flawless song choice. Why are you making me like you, Carbomb?
Corey Crawford: “Bleed It Out,” Linkin Park
The perfect song choice from the emo goalie himself.
Ray Emery: “Public Service Announcement,” Jay-Z
But does he have the hottest chick in the game wearin’ his chain? There are quite a few women I know who would like the answer to this question.
Niklas Hjalmarsson: “Give It All,” Rise Against
He’s Swedish. It was either this or techno, really.
Patrick Kane: “Black,” Pearl Jam
Looks like someone’s been getting into Patrick Sharp’s music…
Duncan Keith: “Divide,” Disturbed
I’m so not surprised by this song choice that I almost backed into being surprised again. Almost.
Sami Lepisto: Any techno
Everything I ever learned about techno, I learned from Strong Bad.
It’s not his fault he likes techno. He’s from Finland. They like their music cold and unyielding like the land of their birth.
Alexander Salak: “Going Wrong,” Armin van Buuren and DJ Shah
Salak is chillin’ in Rockford with the IceHogs for the year, but he was in the magazine, so it counts. Anyway…
John Scott: AC/DC
John Scott and “Thunderstruck” will be permanently linked in my mind, thanks to this.
Patrick Sharp: “Alive,” Pearl Jam
Only Eddie Vedder can understand Patrick Sharp’s angst.
Viktor Stalberg: Swedish House Mafia
This is a real group. I’m just as surprised and amused as you are. See, I told you that Swedes can only listen to heavy metal or techno.