There are two options I can pick from for this recap.

1. I can re-write Top 40 hits to be like, “TONIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT / THERE ARE HIIIIIIITS / SO LET’S MAKE THEM ALL LEAVE THE YAAAAAARD / LEAVE THE YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA~RD.”
2. I can post the following image five times and then drink copious amounts of soda and then set the following image as a gif and make it run around a ballpark with its eyes acting like googly eyes.

But really, I just don’t have any words for this game. I can’t even begin to go through the box score and try to pick the highlights from it to snark about because I still can’t even comprehend what just happened.

I think it started with a rain delay. Maybe about six hours ago. Then it was this pitchers duel and the Giants couldn’t even get a friggin’ hit but there you go. The Giants got hits. Lots of ‘em. Or, enough to win the game. » Continue reading “Giants Recap: WHAT IN THE SITHSPAWN”

(Photo: dwighta3/Flickr)

It is extremely likely, if not guaranteed, that had this game taken place in 2010 the Padres would have cashed in all those baserunners against Matt Cain. He would have missed up on one more pitch, and an infielder would have booted a grounder, and that double would have flown an extra ten feet, and the final score would have been Padres 10, Giants 8. Cain would have gravely and calmly pooped in Angel Pagan’s locker. Pagan wouldn’t have said anything.

It’s absolutely certain that had this game taken place in 2011, the Padres would not have needed to cash in any more baserunners. The Giants would have riddled the field with weak grounders and feeble pop flies. Ryan Theriot would have hit five line drives directly at fielders. And when Alex Hinshaw entered the game, he would have struck out the side on 11 pitches. Final Score: Padres 3, Giants 1, and Cain would have had to get that run himself.

But this is 2012. The year of the new-look, new-approach Giants offense, that bounces back from bad innings and defensive foibles. The year that Matt Cain is somehow even better, and Santiago Casilla is both the guy loading the bases and the guy wriggling out of someone else’s bases-loaded jam, and something called a Gregor Blanco is running around in the neighborhood in a Kenny Lofton costume collecting OBP instead of candy. In 2012, the Giants are suffering from a home run drought until they get to Petco Park. And it’s delicious. » Continue reading “Giants Recap: Giants Take Advantage Of Hitter-Friendly Petco”

So let’s talk about Tim Lincecum. Of course we’re going to talk about Tim Lincecum, what the heck else would we talk about? His line tonight was pleasantly mediocre – two runs, one earned, in seven innings, with four hits, five walks, and six Ks. It looked like a very good Jonathan Sanchez game, in fact! Which is not really something we want to be the gold standard for Timmy, but these days, that’s promising.

Examining it a little more, there’s things to be optimistic about. The point was made by someone on Twitter earlier today – I forget whom, my apologies – that thus far this year Timmy’s been absolutely disintegrating with guys on base. Going into this game, the splits:
-Bases empty: .244/.320/.400
-Runners on base: .287/.400/.474
-Runners in scoring position: .344/.468/.574

All of which adds up to a 59% LOB, third worst in the majors among qualifying starting pitchers. Timmy has been pretty close to league average with the bases empty, but he’s been very bad with runners on and unspeakable as soon as they get to second. But I promised optimism! Tonight, Timmy kept his composure with runners on. He did well out of the stretch, and almost escaped a leadoff double unscathed, giving up an unearned run thanks to a bobble by Gregor Blanco. After 6, he was at only 93 pitches, and when Bochy sent him back out for the 7th he worked his way out of trouble despite eminently hittable stuff. » Continue reading “Giants Recap: Giants Sweep The, Ha Ha, No.”

The Giants didn’t do well today and lost.

Madison Bumgarner did not pitch to the best of his abilities. The defense threw some clown’s shoes onto the field and it jumped through hoops where dolphins threw up rainbows and Gloria Estefan started a congo line.

And then it just kinda ended and the Marlins won.

Gregor Blanco went 3-for-5 today with an RBI. Not that teh ribeyez matter, but. That’s there. They scored three runs. And. Yeah.

I mean, what else is there to say when the Giants just throw red noses onto the field and say, “HEY, TAKE THESE NOSES.” And the Lisa Frank-induced hallucinogen that is the Marlins home run sculpture just takes it.

The Giants and the Rockies have a weird relationship. I don’t know that they’ve often been rivals, competing head-to-head in the same season, but they’re always orbiting around each other. One’s playing spoiler for the other, or they’re both chasing the wild card only to fall short, or the Rockies can’t win a single frigging game against the Atlanta Braves and the world collapses around my 7 year-old self.

Anyway, I’ve always found wins against the Rockies to be satisfying for some ephemeral reason. Maybe it’s all that Coors Field trauma. First-round pick Christian Friedrich embarrassed the Giants on his first go-round through the lineup, but he was unable to join the hallowed ranks of “random rookies who have totally dominated SF’s lineup,” because no sir Gregor Blanco was not having any of that. Blanco is probably going to be the leadoff hitter for a while now, and I’m okay with that. Especially if he keeps inexplicably crushing dingers.

(Seriously, watch that clip if you didn’t see it, Blanco hit the crud out of it. In fact, watch it if you did see it. I’ll still be here.)

Ryan Vogelsong did not look sharp, but he wriggled out of trouble and retired ten straight to end the game, so it was the Jekkyl side of the “Giants pitcher struggles early” standard. Brett Pill looked positively awful for most of the night and then some idiot threw him a fastball and he smoked it, because Brett Pill eats fastballs like mere mortals eat nachos. Turned out that insurance run was really important, so good on him, but still, he had some bad ABs. I mean, wow. Brandon Belt is still alive, etc.

In the interests of completion, I should also add that that Buster Posey guy’s pretty good, and that Sergio Romo faced his daily allotment of one batter and made poor Michael Cuddyer rethink this entire “baseball” thing for at least a few minutes. Yeesh.

That last inning, man. I almost had to rewrite this stupid thing. A little sloppiness from Casilla, a defensive lapse from Arias (who promptly made up for it!), and suddenly it’s a whole ‘nother ballgame. If Troy Tulowitzki hadn’t gotten beaned by one of his own teammates, we’re probably still playing. But hey, whatever, baseball gods, we’ll take it. It worked for the 2010 Giants, it’ll work now. Timmy goes tomorrow to try to sweep a stupid two-game series.

And again. (Illustration by Mac)

Barry Zito. As soon as you start to think “Oh hey, he doesn’t suck that much”, he sucks that much.

How much, you ask? This much.

How much, you ask again? Zito also walked 7 of the 20 batters he faced. Up until now, he’d walked 6 batters in his previous 4 games. The 7 BBs is a career high. » Continue reading “Post-game Recap: In Which a Boring Game Gets Interesting Until It Isn’t”

Because Mac can't find an image of Pagan for this post. (Name credit: jrblough on twitter)

I started writing a recap over my lunch break. It contained this paragraph:

Actually, let’s talk about that last one a bit. [Angel] Pagan is said to be a slow starter, and over the Giants’ brief homestand and the Mets double-header he showed incipient signs of turning it around. But he has yet to get really locked in, and looked absolutely feeble in most of his PAs today. The most telling thing is his complete inability to take pitches; even his one single was a slap at a third-pitch changeup. It may be time to give Pagan some time off, move him down in the order when he does play, and give Gregor Blanco or the surprisingly patient Melky Cabrera an extended look at the top of the order.

Then, you know, this happened. So what the hell do I know? If you want to read the rest of that recap, you’re going to have to wait for the Third Street Kings season DVD, with outtakes and commentary. » Continue reading “Post-game recap: The One Where Angel Pagan Makes Me Look Stupid”

(Flickr/Linsey)

Madison Bumgarner made his first start against the Mets in the second game of a doubleheader tonight. And it was a good one. The Giants completed the doubleheader sweep with a score of 6-1.

For the second time today, the Giants came out swinging in the first inning. CF Gregor Blanco led off with a single, followed by a towering Pandamode HR from Pablo Sandoval for two runs. Nate Schierholtz continued his day’s hot streak with a triple*, followed by a sac fly from Hector Sanchez for another run.

*Nate would finish the game 3 for 5, and 6 for 10 for the day.

Of note, Sandoval extended his season-starting hit streak to 16, tying Willie Mays’ team record set in 1960. The Panda also has the longest current hit streak in the majors.

The Giants scored another 2 runs in the 4th inning, when Blanco’s fly ball to LF went into Jason Bay’s glove, but then right back out as Bay fell over, scoring Brett Pill and Emmanuel Burriss. When I was an assistant coach for my girls t-ball teams, I always told the kids that when the ball goes in the glove, you close the glove. Or, as we put it: “When the fish goes in the mouth, the croc snaps its jaws shut.” AND THAT’S WHY YOU DO THAT, JASON BAY. » Continue reading “Post-Game Recap: Giants Sweep the Doubleheader”

Perfectly Acceptable Zito (TM) showed up today and that was nice. Five innings and two runs given up. Not bad. Kept the Giants in the game even though Powder was apparently missing from Citi Field. But the Giants scored three runs before Zito was out of the game — one on an Angel Pagan home run, one on a Buster Posey RBI double, and another because of a wild pitch.

And maybe — just maybe — that could’ve won the game.

Because surely, with run support and an actual lead, there was a chance. Maybe. » Continue reading “Post-game Recap: PAZsive-Aggressive Giants”