Guys, A LOT has happened since our last visit into Jose Canseco’s life.  Let’s catch up!

(WARNING:  Some crude language follows.)

Things started out fairly harmless as he states what all of us have been saying for a while now…

And he gets our hopes up…

Then he rambled on about the Red Sox and Bobby Valentine.  (It’s stupid. I don’t encourage you to read it.)

He even does a little pleading…

You can’t make me, Jose.  I don’t care how much you sweet talk me.

Then the bombshell:

I’m dumbfounded.  Seriously.  If these two can’t make it, there is absolutely no hope for the rest of us.  Every great couple has spats where the guy calls her a slut on the Internet and posts her phone number, right?  If that’s not love, I don’t want to know what is.  It’s too bad he dumped that other chick once he saw her face.

Yes, a dating show is a fine idea.  But…umm…can you say “twat” on TV?  Seriously, can you?

Ladies…

How could a woman resist an invitation like that?  If you’re not calling Mike RIGHT NOW, you’re dead to me.  Dead.