The World Series starts tonight, with the St. Louis Cardinals and the Texas Rangers facing off for the final baseball glory of 2011. However, it wouldn’t be fitting if there wasn’t at least a little bit of drama to add to the spectacle, this year brought on by none other than the U.S. Senate. Because, you know, they really have no other important issues to tackle besides baseball.
The senators, led by Dick Durbin (D. Ill.) have come into a partnership with various health agencies around the country to try and stop the chewing during this year’s world series. The ‘Bacco Coalition (as I have just now named them) is calling for the players union to agree not to chew tobacco in the dugout, and certainly not on camera. This is obviously to keep from influencing children to chew as well as for the players health. The spokesperson for the players union, Michael Weiner, stayed mum about this year but as said a “sincere effort” will be put towards the ban next June. I somehow sense a tad bit of sarcasm in this statement.
This isn’t the first time that government officials have decided to meddle in baseball’s spitting problem, as they tried to ban tobacco at last year’s World Series. Chewing has gone back as far as baseball itself, with pitchers being banned from using spitballs in 1920. Even the minor leagues now have been known to fine players who are caught dipping at their lockers. Either way, some players are not okay with the proposal as it is infringing on their freedoms.
We’ll see how much icky brown tar comes flying out in front of cameras in the next few days. What I want to know is why the senators are chasing particularly after this. Because, of course, football doesn’t have popular players partake in dog fights or cheat on their spouses. Or hockey doesn’t have players having close-handed slap fights because testosterone went through the roof. And basketball certainly doesn’t have the showboating after a single basket is made. Yes, baseball and tobacco are going to lead to the future’s problems. Do the country a favor: stay in Washington and out of the dugout.
Besides, if you’re a real fan who is actually paying attention to the Series and not what is in player’s mouths, you’ll focus more on the game. It’s gonna be an interesting Series, to say the least.
Go ________s! (I’m a Cubs fan, you can figure it out in no time at all:))