Poor David...

When it rains, it pours, huh?  Well, this week we saw yet another hit to females in sports.  Let me catch you up to speed.

On Monday, we were presented with this video of a female St. Louis reporter who was going to ride the new Mr. Freeze roller coaster at Six Flags with Cardinals third baseman David Freese.  Seems harmless, right?  Well, just watch the video.

Anybody else concerned that this chick might kidnap David and tie him up in her basement?  Just wait until November before you kidnap, K?  We’ll also need him back by March.

And that wasn’t even the worst of it.  Then Tuesday, Simon Borg, the co-host of MLS’ official podcast Extra Time Radio, informed us diehard female sports fans that we are not hot.

» Continue reading “Friday FAIL: Sports + Women”

Like an annoying fly that insists on ruining your summer picnic, Kristin Cav just doesn’t know how to go away.

Alright. I’m a fair person, and I suppose I should give Kristin some credit for constantly making herself “relevant” (relevant being open to interpretation) and tweeting about “what’s happening” because that’s what Twitter is for and that’s how some people in Hollywood make money.

I feel gross now, and I’m done being nice. So, let’s get back poking fun at, “The World According to Kristin Cav.”

The reality-tv “star” took to Twitter on Monday to share her thoughts on Gisele-gate and to defend the Super Model’s “support” of her husband’s Super Bowl performance (and subsequent bashing of teammates).

» Continue reading “Kristin Cav Defends Gisele’s Defense Of Tom”

Lack of proper protection hurts, doesn't it?

While football fans everywhere were settling in to enjoy the NFC Championship game Sunday evening, People.com decided to sweep in, ruin the night, and report that reality TV ”star” Kristin Cavallari and Chicago Bears QB Jay Cutler are expecting their first child.

Chicago sports fans everywhere cried real tears.

The couple told People magazine:

We are thrilled to announce we are expecting our first child together. It’s an amazing time in our life and we can’t wait to meet the new addition to our growing family.

As is customary with the announcement of a pregnancy, congratulations are in order. (No, seriously, babies are a blessing).

Okay — now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, it’s time for me to throw up in my mouth while also telling you that there is more to this story.

» Continue reading “Protection Fails Cutler Yet Again”

It’s official : Kristin Cav and Jay Cutler are engaged…again.

Kristin shared the happy news from her Twitter this afternoon:

Kristin assures us that this time it’s “for real” which certainly makes me feel a lot better.

I mean, congratulations, I guess? I can finally restore my faith in true love.

Really looking forward to the 2-day E! Special on the wedding. On opposite day.

Are these two love birds in trouble?

Clearly, reality star Kristin Cavallari and her beau, Chicago Bears quarterback Jay Cutler are having relationship issues.  Why is this so obvious, you ask?  Here is my evidence (I promise only some is completely fabricated): » Continue reading “Kristin Cav & Jay Cutler: Relationship On The Rocks?”

If you read our recap of Dancing with the Stars Monday night, you know that Cher broke out in tears in the audience watching her son, Chaz Bono, deliver a monster comeback with his Paso Doble to the Rocky theme. Previously on the verge of elimination, Chaz scored straight 7s this week, his best performance so far.

I was busting out the waterworks Monday night, too — not at Chaz’s performance, but rather at the Bears’ offensive line during Monday Night Football. 

And even though his ex-fiance, Kristin Cavallari, was voted off last week, I’m pretty sure Bears QB Jay Cutler wishes he was in the audience again, instead of running away from Lions’ defensive line all night. Heck, even I wish I’d been doing anything but taking another sip every time the Bears committed a false start.

But I digress …

» Continue reading “Dancing with the Stars Week 4: Who Held On For One More Day?”

Somebody, anybody tell Mary J. Blige to stop peddling “Real Love.” I love the song, but it hasn’t been a hit since the early 90s.

I don’t kno w… the timeline is fuzzy, but it felt like she was an Apple press conference — reminding us of how good she was before trying to sell us on how good she is.

But we came here to talk about dancing.

Rob Kardashian is safe. Ladies, you’re welcome!

Estelle sang “The Twist” and head judge Len Goodman danced it … well … sorta. His hip survived the performance and that’s all that counts. Also, Chubby Checker made a surprise appearance during his famous song. Nobody was more surprised than whoever had to get up and paint Mr. Checker’s jeans onto his body before he could go on television.

Even more confusion came a little later when Mary J. Blige came back to sing her new song but was dressed up like a 1989 Janet Jackson. I may or may not have put on my army boots and had a Rhythym Nation dance clinic in my living room. May or may not have.

And that is the exact reason that someone at ABC studios needs to pull the plug on giving DWTS any and all of the air time they want each week.

After the madness settled down, the badness emerged. How, in all things that are deemed holy, did Kristin Cavallari (also, why was her ex-fiance Jay Cutler in the audience?) and Hope Solo end up in the bottom two? Someone tell me how … I’ll wait.

Seriously, Chaz Bono can-NOT dance, should not be on the show any longer, and everybody knows it.

I’m pretty sure I even saw tears from Carrie Anne.

Kristin and Mark

Alas, Kristin was sent walking.

That’s what your voting does, America.

We can’t help but to think the little news of Chicago Bears quarterback Jay Cutler reportedly wanting Kristin Cavallari back — after he had broken off the engagement — may be nothing more than a publicity stunt.

We’re cynics, we know.

Cutler and Cavallari, of The Hills fame, called off their engagement last month after being together for less than a a year.

And now he reportedly wants her back.

Amid the chatter that Cavallari has signed on for Dancing With the Stars.

Hmmm.

Well, too bad they already returned all those wedding gifts.