I know, I know. We’ve been slacking in the FAIL department these last few weeks. I have a lot of really awesome excuses, but that’s not why we’re here. We’re here to make fun of people doing dumb things…
So, let’s talk (now former) Red Sox manager, Bobby Valentine, shall we?
Now I could go on and on about all the insane things the skipper did over the past MLB season (seriously, poor Boston fans), but Deadspin did it better, so I’ll let you just read their take on Bobby V’s slow meltdown in Beantown. Sadly for Valentine (good for Boston), Bobby was relieved of his managing duties Thursday. Cue “Oh, Happy Day”…
But my favorite Bobby V moment from these past few weeks has easily been him crashing in Central Park – while attempting to ride his bike – while texting with Dustin Pedroia. Go ahead, reread that statement. I’ll give you a second.
If you’re from the Tri-State Area, and listen to WFAN, you know Mike Francesa very well. He’s the almighty numbah wun rated spawts pope from New Yawk. For his sake thank goodness he’s on radio and no one has to watch him do his six hour sports banter on the FAN, right?
I guess good old Mike forgot that the YES Network (Yankees Entertainment and Sports Network) films him during his radio blocks. What’s so significant about this one?
On Wednesday while at work someone notices this tweet from the FAKE Francesa account (which you should follow because it’s fantastic):
So of course we had to do our investigation since we were LISTENING and not watching. We came across a fantastic video.
Francesa was interviewing WFAN’s Sweeny Murti about the New York Yankees’ current pennant race with the Baltimore Orioles and it appears the almighty was dozing into dreamland. Watch him closely as he nods further and further away and then wakes up as if he saw a ghost:
Francesa seems to be fading away faster than the Yankees pennant chances.
He probably wasted all of his energy ranting and raving about da Mets (brace yourselves, I felt like he was personally attacking me):
On Thursday Francesa claimed on the air that he did not fall asleep during the Murti interview, but sorry, I think it’s pretty apparent that he did. Or at least was almost there.
If he really did fall asleep, let’s hope he dreamed about Brandon Inge, because in case you didn’t know, he likes Inge. He likes Inge a lot. I mean really. He likes Inge a lot.
UPDATE: And Chris Kluwe, punter for the Minnesota Vikings, wins the Internet with this response.
We try to steer clear of political/serious issues here at The Pulse, but sometimes when things are so boneheaded, they just can’t be ignored…
Evidently, Baltimore Ravens linebacker Brendon Ayanbadejo is just too politically active when it comes to the support of same-sex marriage. So politically active that the Maryland House of Delegates member Emmett C. Burns Jr. SENT A LETTER to Steve Bisciotti, the Ravens owner to stop the nonsense. I mean he’s a football player who should only be thinking about football, right?!
Looks like Kent State’s Andre Parker will be getting some grief for awhile in the locker room after this goof up on Thursday night…
I can’t decide what’s funnier: that he is a little over 5 yards from a TD and runs the wrong way, that his teammates are blocking for him as he is running the wrong way or that the other team tackles him instead of letting him run into the endzone for a safety?
Seriously, guys, I can’t keep up with who is failing drug tests nowadays. Melky Cabrera, Bartolo Colon, and, now, Lance Armstrong? (OK, I’m fully aware of that Lance Armstrong didn’t actually fail a drug test that we’re currently aware of, but just go with it…)
Seems the athletes out there need a primer on how to avoid these drug testing nightmares, and I thought I’d help:
1. Don’t say you didn’t use performance-enhancing drugs. That just gets you into trouble later. Say “I didn’t fail a drug test” (if that’s actually the case). Just ask Rafael Palmerio.
2. If you did actually fail a test, apologize to your fans, but don’t say you won’t do it again. It just makes you look dumb if you fail another.
It’s been a busy week with all the Penn State drama, the baseball trade deadline looming and Logan Morrison inciting a vicious breastfeeding-in-public debate on Twitter. So it was a little difficult to decide where to shift my focus for this week’s FAIL. Then I remembered that the Olympics officially kick off today, so obviously we’re going to focus on that.
And boy was it easy to find some material. Two things I learned this week:
1. Unless you want to royally piss off an entire country, try not to use the wrong flag when introducing their players…even more so if that team is North Korea and you’re using a South Korea flag.
THIS ACTUALLY HAPPENED AT THE OLYMPICS. (Image via @JamesCrossan)
2. If someone is a FOUR-TIME Olympic swimmer, there is no possible way that person can be considered “fat”. Guess that bit of information wasn’t relayed to the Australian newspaper Melbourne’s Herald Sun who posted a picture of Leisel Jones (who is representing Australia in the summer games) with the caption: ”The Olympic veteran’s figure is in stark contrast to that of 2008.”
Oh, but it didn’t stop there. THEY HAD A POLL. Yes, a poll asking whether their readers thought Jones was fat or not. Guys, if people are thinking that Olympic swimmers are fat, there is absolutely no hope for the rest of us. We may as well embrace our Wall-E futures, stock up on some potato chips and invest in a Rascal.