Lack of proper protection hurts, doesn't it?

While football fans everywhere were settling in to enjoy the NFC Championship game Sunday evening, People.com decided to sweep in, ruin the night, and report that reality TV ”star” Kristin Cavallari and Chicago Bears QB Jay Cutler are expecting their first child.

Chicago sports fans everywhere cried real tears.

The couple told People magazine:

We are thrilled to announce we are expecting our first child together. It’s an amazing time in our life and we can’t wait to meet the new addition to our growing family.

As is customary with the announcement of a pregnancy, congratulations are in order. (No, seriously, babies are a blessing).

Okay — now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, it’s time for me to throw up in my mouth while also telling you that there is more to this story.

» Continue reading “Protection Fails Cutler Yet Again”

For a whlie, things were so good. The Bears were rolling, opponents were falling, and Bears Nation had their eyes turned towards the playoffs.

And yet.

Suddenly, it all went so wrong.

Down went Jay Cuter, Matt Forte, Johnny Knox, and Gabe Carimi. And just like that, it was over.

So Bears fans, I’ve compiled a list of songs for you to down your sorrows in. Copious amounts of alcohol are suggested and encouraged.

Was anything ever more of a lost cause than the games in which the Bears started Caleb Hanie?

» Continue reading “Tune-In Tuesday: One Bear Fan’s Ode To Misery”

Need a Christmas present for Sam Hurd?

Can someone send Sam Hurd The Wire: The Complete Series?  Seems he didn’t get the memo that drug dealers don’t use cellphones.  (Kids, this is why you watch TV.  You learn things.  Sheesh.)

As reported earlier this week, Bears WR Sam Hurd was arrested for trying to set up a drug distribution network in the city of Chicago.  Yeah, TRYING.  Guess it’s hard to succeed when the person you are trying to set up this whole thing with is an undercover agent.  Well done, Sam.

Not only is Hurd in trouble, he’s also bringing down his clients.  Apparently now there is a list of at least 20 NFL players who buy from Hurd.  There are probably a few nervous Dallas Cowboys out there.  Do we think this list will be released before or after the playoffs?

My favorite quote from all of this came from the criminal complaint filed against Hurd:

“…his co-conspirator is in charge of doing the majority of the deals as HURD focuses on the “higher-end” deals. HURD subsequently inquired if the UCA (undercover operative) and the CI (confidential informant involved in the case) could provide him with Mexican cellular telephones, as HURD believed that law enforcement did not have the capability of “listening” to Mexican telephones.”

I’m sure those Mexican telephones are hard to hack.  You can’t make this stuff up.

Sam, Derek Jeter thanks you for being a bigger idiot than he was this week.

Are these two love birds in trouble?

Clearly, reality star Kristin Cavallari and her beau, Chicago Bears quarterback Jay Cutler are having relationship issues.  Why is this so obvious, you ask?  Here is my evidence (I promise only some is completely fabricated): » Continue reading “Kristin Cav & Jay Cutler: Relationship On The Rocks?”