Clearly, reality star Kristin Cavallari and her beau, Chicago Bears quarterback Jay Cutler are having relationship issues. Why is this so obvious, you ask? Here is my evidence (I promise only some is completely fabricated):
- On Nov. 7, 2011 - Miss Cavallari tweeted - “To the man with the best butt in football, good luck tonight @jaycutler6 ill be watching” OBVIOUSLY Miss Cavallari is overcompensating a bit here. (We also know that she’s lying about Jay having the “best butt in football”. No worries, Aerys’ own Kristine Reese investigated this issue. Kristine’s thorough “research” found that Cutler wouldn’t even make the Top 10.)
- On Nov. 20, 2011 – Mr. Cutler injures his thumb and has to have surgery, keeping him out of the lineup for a while. No word from Kristin on this tragic event. Although, I did learn that Kristin does NOT have facebook and lots of gibberish about “Dancing with the Stars”. Miss Cavallari must value butt over thumb.
- On Nov. 21, 2011 – Still no word from Miss Cavallari on Mr. Cutler’s thumb. More tweets about DWTS.
- On Nov. 21, 2011 - Deadspin.com reported that Mr. Cutler and Miss Cavallari were engaged. And we all know how Aerys’ reporter Katie Dzwierzynski reacted the LAST time this happened. Bad news bears. Pun intended.
- On Nov. 21, 2011 (almost an ENTIRE hour later) – Miss Cavallari tweeted “New week new rumor. I’m not engaged u guys” and something about “adult chocolate milk”. Way to let that rumor fester on the Internets for an entire hour.
(Forgive me, gossip has been slow lately. Thought I should just take matters into my own hands.)