Oh yes, you get TWO today!

Since our latest Chronicles, Jose has since become employed…and has started campaigning…

…For the All Star game.

Makes sense since he hasn’t played a full season of professional baseball in quite some time.  But whatevs.

Vote!

Vote because this would seriously piss off Bud Selig and I can’t think of a better reason than that.

But wait, there’s more!

What the what?! » Continue reading “The Canseco Chronicles: Vol. VII – Vote For Jose!”

In this week’s edition, we’re going to discuss my 2 favorite tweets from 2012 thus far…

First this gem, courtesy of this girl’s favorite tweeter, from 2 months ago…

And then Metta World Peace not knowing the difference between Labor Day and Memorial Day…

If there were ever a case to NOT party too hard, it’s this.

I have to ask, kids:

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Could Gaga be the next Mrs. Canseco?

Oh, hey, look what I found!  A Canseco Chronicle from a month ago that I never posted!  A little dated, but who cares, right?

After a brief hiatus from Twitter (and nearly killing this writer), Jose is back and cruder than ever.  Last we saw of Canseco, he was trolling the Twitters for twats, so what has he been up to since?  I’m glad you asked…

I bet it was Al Gore.  I think you pissed off the ghost of the man who intented the Internet.

» Continue reading “The Canseco Chronicles: Vol. VI – A Bad Romance”

Josh Hamilton likes to walk up to a mix of "This Life" (Mercy Me), "I Used To Do It" (LeCrae), "Sing A Song" (Third Day), and "Showstopper" (Toby Mac). What would your song be?

A week or so ago, a bunch of the Aerys MLB writers and I got into a lengthy discussion about walk-up songs.  I mean, it’s a tough decision.  People judge you based on your choice.  (Wait, that’s just me? Oh…)  So we thought it would be fun to share our choices with you.

Stacey Gotsulias (New York Yankees – Second Place Is Not An Option) – “A View To A Kill” by Duran Duran

» Continue reading “Tune In Tuesday: Walk On Up!”

I feel that one of my duties as an F1 fan is to inform the rest of the world of the beautiful men hidden beneath helmets and coveralls.

Thankfully, the photo I used yesterday for Mark Webber’s win at Monaco may have shown some others here at Aerys the light.

Consider this your introduction to the wonderful world of Grand Prix racing drivers. There are many more to come, my friends.

Mark is the sixth winner in six races for Formula 1, although it’s his team’s second race win this year. Red Bull has been the constructor’s champion for the past two years. The Australian also enjoys mountain biking, although he has had bad luck in it as well as in racing over the years. Clearly it hasn’t negatively affected Mark.

Monaco is known for its glitz and glamour, with the drivers even getting involved. The fashion shows may be the second best part of the racing if you’re not there. (I’m sure yacht parties come second if you’re actually there.)

From left: Jean-Eric Vergne of France, Bruno Senna of Brazil, and Esteban Gutierrez of Mexico. Gutierrez is a GP2 driver, a feeder series for Formula 1.

» Continue reading “Monday Morning Motivation: Grand Prix Driver Edition”

Written by: Teresa España

Last evening I saw Sacha Baron Cohen’s current movie, “The Dictator.” The film satirizes racism, bigotry, and hypocrisy.

Satire is tricky to convey. The term’s defined as “trenchant wit, irony, or sarcasm used to expose and discredit vice or folly.”  If the material is not well-written or -delivered, it can offend.

The “dictator,” played by Baron Cohen, is characterized as a bumbling, idiotic Middle Eastern tyrant whose minions have been ordered to build a nuclear weapon. Stereotypes traffic the entire movie, pigeonholing, denigrating, and misrepresenting cultural groups. The antics in the movie are so outrageous that it can be read as satire for exposing and mocking prejudice.

This movie helped me understand the discomfort I feel around “Cultural Heritage Nights” at baseball stadiums. These functions are similar in nature to Cinco de Mayo (5th of May) fiestas in restaurants and bars. Both events use stereotypical symbols to represent, fix, and impose identities that don’t exist.

At Cinco de Mayo parties, bars and restaurants offer “authentic” experiences by serving plenty of Mexican beer and food (taquitos, guacamole), and filling the room with Mexican music (mariachis). The owners decorate their establishments with colorful placards that include images of sarapes (ponchos), sombreros (large hats), acoustic guitars, and “lazy” Mexicans sleeping against cacti.

I am a 51-year old, third-generation American of Mexican descent and have never worn a sarape or sombrero, nor found myself napping against a cactus in the desert.

» Continue reading “Cultural Stereotypes, Heritage Nights, And Baseball”

I'm sure she would rather be shopping. AMIRITE?

Anybody else feel like Friday FAIL often just turns into “What the eff did XX sports network/news outlet do now to piss off female sports fans”?  Which means I need to keep up with the trend right?

Well, this week CBC (The Canadian Broadcasting Corporation), the oldest broadcasting network in Canada, announced that they were launching a new series called “While the Men Watch”.

The tagline: “Where Girl Talk is a Sport.”

The premise?  These women are “sports widows”.  They watch a hockey game and cameras forever document everything they say during the game.  Most of the conversations surround the awfulness of playoff beards and discussions of uniforms.  You know the stereotypical things that guys think that the majority of women think about during sporting events.  Because clearly we’re not thinking about strategy or some nonsense like that.

» Continue reading “Friday FAIL: Girl Talk!”

If it wasn’t obvious, one of my favorite things about Twitter is the ability to stalk follow athletes.  It’s even better when these athletes give you a play-by-play of everything going on in their lives.  BECAUSE THEY ARE SO INTERESTING.  The master:  Chad Ochocinco.

Well, the latest trial in Ochocinco’s life has been the break in of his rental car and the theft of his wallet…and more importantly, his Gold Starbucks card.  So what exactly happened?

» Continue reading “Twitter Thursday: Ochocinco And The Case Of The Missing Starbucks Card”

Honestly, this whole thing is his fault.

Here’s something not a lot of people realize about me – I like cars.

I’ve harbored a secret desire to be a racecar driver since I was roughly ten years old when I started watching a certain cartoon related to auto racing. It generally didn’t work out in real life because my mom thought it would be too dangerous (and we didn’t live in a rural area where I could’ve gotten a tractor permit at age 14), but I still longingly watch the World Rally Championship and try to convince my parents to pay for me to go to a rallying school in New Hampshire. I’m 23.

I vicariously live my dream through Gran Turismo nowadays, but the in-game music gets repetitive when you’re doing endurance races, so I’ve put together my own playlists of driving music over the years. This Sunday, we’ve got two of the biggest races of the year on the calendar – on one day. The Monaco Grand Prix is running first (7 am EST on SPEED), followed almost immediately after by the most famous race in America, the Indianapolis 500. Since I won’t be driving in either of them, I’ll be on my couch watching and eating fried rice and telling my friends why Kimi Raikkonen is amazing.

In honor of what may be the biggest day in motorsports in quite some time, here’s a driving playlist for you all.

» Continue reading “Tune In Tuesday: Motorsports Edition”

It is my great pleasure dear Pulse readers, male and female alike, to introduce you to Alex Morgan, star forward for the U.S. Women’s National Soccer Team.

Over on our soccer site, we’ve written a lot about Alex in the last year, from her late game heroics as a “super sub” with her 82nd minute goal in the World Cup semifinals against France  to her 81st minute assist against Sweden in a post-World Cup friendly to equalize the game, and her 89th minute goal against Costa Rica to seal the U.S.’s trip to the 2012 Summer Olympics.

We’ve also covered her success as a starter alongside Abby Wambach, where in her first start in the  Olympic Qualifying Final vs Canada, she netted two goals to defeat the rivals to the north, and in a friendly with New Zealand she sunk two in the dying minutes to give the U.S. the win.

Morgan has now scored 22 goals in 38 career international appearances, at a pace of 1.23 goals per 90 minutes, ranking her alongside U.S. Soccer legends Abby Wambach, Mia Hamm and Kristine Lilly. It’s safe to say we’ll be covering her for a while. » Continue reading “Monday Morning Motivation: Alex Morgan”