Guys, A LOT has happened since our last visit into Jose Canseco’s life. Let’s catch up!
(WARNING: Some crude language follows.)
Things started out fairly harmless as he states what all of us have been saying for a while now…
And he gets our hopes up…
Then he rambled on about the Red Sox and Bobby Valentine. (It’s stupid. I don’t encourage you to read it.) » Continue reading “The Canseco Chronicles: Volume IV”
Clearly, this is all natural...
Since we already have our Friday FAIL for the week, we’ll just place this little nugget here:
“I am very much looking forward to putting on a uniform and competing on a professional level again this year,” Canseco said in a release from the Tornadoes. “I love the game of baseball. I am particularly grateful to the Worcester Tornadoes for embracing me and having the confidence in me to help the team win.”
That’s right. Jose Canseco has yet another job playing baseball. I’m sure this will go well.
Now, I could go all day mocking this decision by the Tornadoes instead I’m going to take a poll:
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We all know that this week’s major FAIL has been the reffing during the NHL Playoffs. However, since this writer is pretty hockey-dumb, I’ll leave the mocking of the incompetency of the refs to the Aerys Sports NHL ladies. Instead I’m going to stick with what I do best: Making fun of Texas A&M.
Yes, I know that this one is a few days old, but still. Let’s talk about this, shall we?
Texas A&M: “We may be new to the conference, but we aren’t new to the game.” …As long as that game doesn’t include geography.
Minnesota Vikings punter Chris Kluwe’s tweets are always entertaining, whether it’s calling out the NFL with his whiteboard notes or calling out the New Orleans Bounty Hunters. This time of year football players start to leave their off-season homes and head back to their team’s city to began off-season workouts.
On April 18th, Kluwe began his drive from California to Minnesota:
Seppuku = Japanese ritual suicide by disembowelment
(I guess his off-season in California made him forgot about the lovely snowy weather he got use to in Minnesota) » Continue reading “Twitter Thursday: Chris Kluwe’s Drive Back To Minnesota”
The fun never stops over at Jose Canseco’s Twitter page! In today’s edition, we’ll tackle holograms, aliens, how to end an “affair”, Cuba, and the Presidency. (You know the drill: Read from the bottom up for each tweet sequence.)
Cuba: Still not part of the USA. Obama: Still born in the USA. Other than that, I think things seem about right. You have my vote! Hugs for everyone! » Continue reading “The Canseco Chronicles: Volume II”
Seriously, do you really want to be like the Biebs?
The Kiss Cam. It’s right up there with the Wave in the ”worst things to happen to sporting events” category.
It’s just awkward for everyone involved. Not to mention the camera person is forced to make a snap judgement on who they think are “together”. Then there are those camera people who think they are being hilarious by showing two guys or two girls who are obviously not together on the Jumbotron. Really?
Seems Oakland Athletic’s pitcher Brandon McCarthy feels the same way I do about the Kiss Cam and those not-so-hilarious camera guys:
To clarify, they showed two of the A’s players in the dugout on the Kiss Cam. McCarthy went on…
I couldn’t have said it better myself, Brandon.
Since the playoffs are here for the NHL writers we decided that this week’s Tune In Tuesday would revolve around songs associated with the Playoffs.Specifically the goal songs for each team currently in the 2011-2012 Playoffs.
1. New York Rangers
Every time Prust, Callahan and Dubinsky light the lamp at the Madison Square Garden, fans cheer along with this lovely rendition.
» Continue reading “Tune In Tuesday: NHL Playoffs”
With the playoffs here for the National Hockey League, all of the Aerys NHL writers teamed up to compile a list of motivational men from our playoff teams. That’s right, we are bringing you motivation from sixteen different teams. What’s not to like?
For those non-hockey fans, after this post, you will understand where our love and devotion to our teams comes from. I promise. Two posts and 156 comments later, this is what we bring to you:
What is not to love about this 30 year old Swede? Seriously.(Henrik Lundvquist)
Starting in the East we have Henrik Lundvquist of the New York Rangers. Lundvquist is 6’1″ and 195lbs and plays for the number one team in the Eastern Conference. Through 69 games played this season he had 39 wins and 18 losses, with only 5 games needing extra minutes and was ranked among the top THREE goaltenders in the entire National Hockey League. If you don’t find that impressive, then you may want to reconsider reading the rest of this article.
Next on the hot seat we’ll take a look at Erik Karlsson of the Ottawa Senators. Granted there wasn’t a whole hell of a lot to choose from because, well, it’s the Senators. Nonetheless the man to drool over is 21-year old Norris Trophy nominee Erik Karlsson. This kid has been phenomenal this season for the Sens, leading all NHL defensemen in points with 78 as 19 of them are goals and 59 are assists. Karlsson is one of the most fluid defensemen I have ever witnessed play and isn’t bad to look at either. Take a look for yourself.
That crooked half-smile, yeah, who wouldn't die for that? (Erik Karlsson)
Moving on we shall take a look at the currently atrocious Pittsburgh Penguins. All season long they have done tremendously without their Captain Sidney Crosby, but it seems that the Playoffs presented the Penguins with their match as they went down 3-0 in the series today against Philadelphia. However, despite the efforts of the team (or lack thereof) there is one player who stands out in all Penguin fans minds. Blonde-haired, blue-eyed Jordan Staal. Seriously, what isn’t there to love about a blue-eyed blonde combination? That is genuinely almost every person’s dream. The fact that he looks good with long hair or short hair proves that he is even more perfect, especially for the sake of this post. However, we also have to give an honorable mention to a member of the Pittsburgh Squad as Sidney Crosby‘s voluptuous rear end made the nominee board and is too fantastic to pass up. » Continue reading “Monday Morning Motivation:NHL Playoff Series”
If only Canseco had been around to stop this madness...
Instead of using Twitter Thursday and Friday FAIL to discuss the crazy that occurs on Jose Canseco’s Twitter page on what seems like a daily basis, I’ve decided to chronicle that crazy. Last night’s Twitter-plosion was especially spectacular with a billion little nuggets that remind us that steroids are bad.
It started out with his thoughts on global warming and the Titanic. Because in Canseco’s mind, they’re related. Let’s check it out, shall we? (Read from the bottom up…)
That’s right, morons, global warming could’ve saved the Titanic! I wonder if Al Gore thought of that before he died? I’m not even going to touch that “icicles” part.
» Continue reading “The Canseco Chronicles: Volume I”
Jabar Gaffney's new Twitter photo -- uploaded to fool the hackers.
Just when we thought only Ozzie Guillen and Jose Canseco* were going batshit crazy on Twitter, along comes Washington Redskins wide receiver Jabar Gaffney with what is being described mildly as a “Twitter meltdown.”
Jabar Gaffney, a serviceable receiver with the Washington Redskins who once starred at the University of Florida (2-time First team All-American), had a rather spectacular twitter meltdown this afternoon. It was the equivalent of jumping on stage at a Coldplay show and pulling your pants down, taking the microphone, and ranting like a lunatic.
Oooh an athlete going nutso on Twitter! Pass the popcorn, please. Let’s take a look:
(Read from the bottom up)
Apparently, Gaffney and his wife are having marriage issues — potentially over the minor infraction of his wife cheating on him with former Florida Gators teammate Lito Sheppard — and since we all know that the key to a successful marriage is communication, he decided that addressing it on Twitter was the best way to bridge the communication gap. Good idea, right?
Face, meet palm.
When will today’s kids learn that Twitter (or Facebook, or any public social medium) is not the place to air your dirty laundry?
Oh, but wait! Only 3 hours after sports blogs everywhere exploded over this, Gaffney logged into his Twitter account to discover that his account had been HACKED!
(Bottom up, again)
Deleting your account so that you won’t be “hacked” (*wink wink*) again? That might be the best display of how “super educated” he is all week. I also want to applaud him for changing his Twitter photo — just in case the hacker mixed him up with someone else.
After his playing days are over, Gaffney really should consider a career in politics. Maybe he and Anthony Weiner can team up on a ticket.
*You didn’t think we’d go a day on The Pulse without mentioning Canseco, did you?
