That, my friends, is Calvin Johnson. But you can call him Megatron — or the future Mr. Heyboer. Either one will do, really.

Why has it taken so long for Calvin to make a Monday Morning Motivation appearance, you might ask? Well, for starters, I wasn’t prepared to share him with the rest of the world. And secondly, I wanted to wait for the right time to do so.

So when Johnson signed a NFL record 8-year, $132 million contract last week, I figured now was as good a time as any to share all that Mr. Johnson has to offer. And I assure you, it extends far beyond the game of football.

Ladies and gentleman, Mr. Calvin Megatron Johnson … (Please hold your applause till the end of the show) » Continue reading “Monday Morning Motivation: Calvin Johnson”

Unless you live under a rock, you’re probably aware that the NCAA Men’s Division I Basketball Tournament began yesterday.  And with the first full day of action, came a series of FAILS.  Let’s begin…

1.  The fact Thursday and Friday isn’t actually “Round 1″, but “Round 2″.

I’m fully aware “Round 1″ started Tuesday, but when all but 4 teams gets a bye, it doesn’t count as a Round.  Try again.

» Continue reading “Friday FAIL: NCAA Tourney Edition”

It’s difficult to find athletes on Twitter whose true personalities shine through. Let’s face it: most are pretty blah. They tweet about a good workout, or “Just landed in <name a city>, Game Day!” (I’m looking at you @JayCutler6). Some use Twitter to promote their charity work. Many just RT whenever their fans ask for it, annoying the hell out of all their other followers (ahem, Kerry Wood).

Then there’s Megan Rapinoe of the U.S. Women’s National Soccer team, aka @mPinoe. A firecracker both on the field and off, Megan’s Twitter account is a mine full of golden nuggets that will regularly crack your ass up.

» Continue reading “Twitter Thursday: Megan Rapinoe Reveals Who She’s Dating”

Jon Rauch is 6’11″. Daniel Herrera is 5’6″. There’s almost a foot and a half of distance between their heights. They’re both in the Mets bullpen.

They enjoy messing around with this, too:

First, Herrera slipped into one leg of Rauch’s uniform. He subsequently donned the entire outfit.

Then, more disturbingly, Rauch squeezed into Herrera’s smaller duds.

They paraded into Terry Collins’ office, after which an expletive and then a loud guffaw from the manager could be heard.

The Mets have unintentionally created a comedy duo. The bullpen in Flushing just got more interesting.

To be honest, when I first read this story, a very specific double act popped into my head – one that involved a major height disparity. I thought of them:

Just think, maybe Rauch and Herrera will go on to do things like this:

Last week, Jim Irsay ended the Colts 14-year relationship with Peyton Manning.  Break-ups are NEVER easy, but one way to make them easier is to cry your eyes out while listening to break-up songs.

“Moving on is simple, it’s what you leave behind that makes it so difficult.” – Unknown

1. Forever and Always by Taylor Swift - You would think this relationship was one that would never end…
So here’s everything coming down to nothing / Here’s to silence that cuts me to the core.

» Continue reading “Tune in Tuesday: Manning-Colts Break-Up Edition”

Hello, handsome. (Photo: Chicago Magazine)

It boggles the mind that Monday Morning Motivation has gone on this long without a post about arguably one of the most handsome men in hockey. I suppose this is because I haven’t gotten off of my behind and written one myself. Well, today, I am rectifying this grave error.

He’s number 10 in your programs, but number one in your hearts (and perhaps other, lower places) — the Chicago Blackhawks’ very own Patrick Sharp.

You’re welcome.

» Continue reading “Monday Morning Motivation: Patrick Sharp”

If you frequent this site, you know full well that I’m obsessed with Jose Canseco.  I stalk actively follow his Twitter account.  Many of my posts are somehow Canseco-related.  And if you ever hang out with me, I talk about him A LOT.  I guess you could say I find him interesting.

Wednesday evening, ESPN Deportes reported that Canseco admitted to using a banned substance and would not be playing in the Mexican baseball league.  For those of you whose days aren’t consumed by following Canseco’s every move, I’ll catch you up to speed.

After being all but banned from all things MLB after outing just about every major leaguer for using steroids in his book Juiced, Canseco has been trying to stay relevant and to get the game of baseball to embrace him once again.  He’s tried MMA, challenging other athletes to fights via Twitter, making public appearances anywhere that would take him, playing in professional softball leagues and making a spectacle out of himself on the Twitters.

He then watched the movie Moneyball and decided that he could make a comeback (how one gets that a 47 year-old man should try out for an MLB team from that movie is beyond me, but whatever). Like any normal human being, he took to Twitter pleading with Billy Beane (who is not on Twitter BTW) to give him a tryout.  He even posted his email address for the world to see. When he didn’t get a response (SHOCKER), he tweeted:

Then he decided to tryout for a team in the Mexican League.  He was given a tryout with the Quintana Roo Tigers.  So down to Mexico went Jose!  Seemed things were going well (or at least according to his Twitter account as he tweeted daily about the number of homeruns he was hitting and how steroids don’t affect bat speed).

» Continue reading “Friday FAIL: Jose Canseco”

Football players often find they have a lot of free time in the off season. Chad Ochocinco is apparently using his free time to catch up on what’s going on in the NHL.

Despite the lack of proper punctuation at the end of his first sentence, he is indeed asking a question. Whether or not it’s a legitimate question isn’t the point of this story. However, since a question was asked, Twitterers must answer!

Disregarding the bunch of tweets that say nothing more than “this should be good” or “heck yeah Ochocinco is watching hockey” (paraphrasing, of course), the responses were nicely varied:

Some people addressed their personalities without talking about the product they put out on the ice, such as Mr. McGarr:

Others decided that comparing them to players in other sports was the best way to help Ochocinco absorb the information:

» Continue reading “Twitter Thursday: Ochocinco Discovers The NHL”

As we settle in to watch baseball again, we’re greeted once more by all of those commercials with songs in them that we either love or loathe. Whether we like or dislike them, however, we end up wondering what the heck they’re called either way. Here are a few of those songs, along with the advertisers using them to irritate us by getting them stuck in our heads.

LP: Into the Wild | Citi

I think we’ve all seen this annoying commercial by now, especially Mets fans who have to endure it more often than the rest of us because Citi sponsored the replacement to Shea Stadium:

http://youtu.be/VE4bcq8Plzk

The song is called Into the Wild, and if you listen to the entire thing it’s a lot less irksome. It’s performed by a group called LP.

» Continue reading “Tune In Tuesday: What’s That Song Called…?”

(Photo: depshots/flickr)

According to Chris Harrison, the host of “The Bachelor”, Tim Tebow has been approached by the show to be the next bachelor.

In case you have no idea what the show is about, “The Bachelor” takes one eligible bachelor (obviously) and he “dates” 25 different women until he eventually narrows it down to that one lucky lady in the end.  It’s exactly what you would expect from a reality show, a lot of drinking, screaming, crying and of course a whole lot of making out.

It’s hard to imagine someone like Tebow, a man who considers himself to be a devoted Christian, going on a show that involves dating several women at a time and then there’s those “overnight dates” that might not go over so well for a guy who’s said he’s saving himself for marriage.

What do you think?  Would Tebow finally let loose?  Or will he limit all physical contact to hand holding and drinking a fountain soda from two straws?

Update: Unfortunately, Tim Tebow confirmed this morning (via Twitter) he will not be the next bachelor.