Recently, Funny or Die posted a hilarious 3 minute spoof of the movie “Field of Dreams” with an NFL lockout twist.  An Iowa corn farmer (Taylor Lautner) builds a football field and the ghosts of lockout players appear.

“If you build it, they will come…”

Field of Dreams 2: NFL Lockout with Taylor Lautner

Just as Ray Kinsella built his baseball diamond, Taylor Lautner’s character followed the voice and built the make shift football field.  He didn’t know why he was doing it and what would happen once it was finished – he just built it.  He built it and the players came.

The owners and players sides have been in marathon negotiating sessions over the past couple of weeks.  It seems the fire was finally lit under their arses, doesn’t it?  Apparently fans’ ranting and raving for the last four months wasn’t enough to fuel their sense of urgency.  But as we can see, nothing speaks louder than the possibility of forfeiting hundreds of millions of dollars.  That’s what finally spoke to them – the sound of (losing) money.

“We still have a lot of work to do,” said NFLPA executive director DeMaurice Smith after a long day of meetings.

We’re not privy to the exact details of their talks but we get calculated leaks from an “a person with knowledge of the situation” despite a gag order.  There’s certainly a part of me that wishes we could know all the details but at this point, and I’m sure I speak for many, we just want the deal to get done.

Up until now I’ve expressed anger, despair, frustration, denial, ambivalence, and a slew of other emotions not fit to elaborate here.  Maybe it’s time I showed some faith and optimism.  It’s finally time for me to write about it in a positive light.  Sort of a self-fulfilling prophecy?  Maybe once I do, this lockout will finally come to an end and we’ll have football again.

Okay, here I go.  Happy thoughts… Positive thoughts…

I am certain this deal will get done in time to save the entire preseason and all 16 games of the regular season.  Both sides will realize the error of their ways, make nice, and try and do what’s best for the other side.

I envision Roger and DeMaurice will not only have a cordial lunch together at their local NYC hangout but they’ll share a tender moment sipping bubble tea during a $30 mani-pedi special in Chinatown.  After that they’ll be shopping at Barney’s for matching boxer briefs and fedoras.  And to top off the BFF makeover day, they’ll head on over to a photo shoot as they will be co-winners of Time Magazine Man of the Year award for saving the 2011 NFL season.

Across town, I’m confident you’ll find the Big Three sitting at a table enjoying their own lunch – Drew, Tom, and Peyton.  Drew will be on the phone profusely apologizing to Carl and Franco.  While Tom is trying to show Peyton some moves he learned at Carnivale.  But wait, I see Peyton in a neck brace.  He shoos Tom away telling him he can’t draw any attention to himself.

“Gotta lay low, Tommy.  And I can’t talk about the lockout.  It’s bad for the Manning brand and for my new show, ‘Football Cops.’  By the way, Tommy.  You should really consider getting a hair cut.  The Geico caveman is so four seasons ago.  Here’s my hair stylist’s business card.  Just ask him for the PeyPey – short cut that shows off your forehead.”

I’m sure Uptown all the lawyers are breaking out the Cristal and congratulating themselves about how they were able to fool both sides into dragging out this lockout as long as they did.

“Great job, Jeff.”  ”No, you were great, Jeff.”  ”Cha-ching!” says Jeff.  ”What do you mean, cha-ching?  I only made $1!” says Jeff.  ”Oops.  Sorry, I forgot about that, Jeff.”

Most definitely, over in Synderville, Dan, Robert, and Jerry are tickled giddy over how they stuck it again to Mike and Ralph.  But unlike Jerryworld, they’ll actually have seats to sit in that have passed safety inspections.

Then Dan decides he wants to give Donovan and Albert another chance on top of signing Nnamdi and the triplets, Randy, Terrell, and Chad.

And the scribes…  I can’t forget about how tirelessly they covered every passing moment for us football fans:  When both parties came and went.  What they were wearing and even what food was being delivered for supper.  Some went beyond the call of duty.

I’m positive Albert Breer will not want to stake out another dirty city sidewalk or sit in a green fluorescent camping chair if he can help it.

There, do you think that was enough sunshine and good vibes to tip the scale to getting this CBA done?  I sure hope so because that’s about all I’ve got.  I’ve written it.  Now they have to get it done.

I leave you with this final thought.

“Retired” Brett: Is this heaven?
Me: No, it’s a signed CBA.

Here’s the last part of our Aerys chat:

Patty (Rams): All right. Going to open the floodgates now.

Patty (Rams): Q3) What free agent do you/your team lust after?

Kristine (Jets): I just wrote about this yesterday but if we could get Nnamdi Asomugha, that would be the sickest CB duo in the NFL.

Emily (Steelers): The Steelers don’t usually go after big free agents. I think we’ll be lucky if we re-sign Ike Taylor.

Patty (Rams): That would seriously be scary, Kristine. Teams would just have to run all the time or dink/dunk short passes.

Melissa (Lions): Well, let’s see. Considering the Lions decided to ignore all their needs in the draft, I’m hoping they pick up a CB. I’m looking at you, Nnamdi Asomugha.

Kristen (Patriots): I want Nnamdi, only because I know the damn Jets are going to get him because Rex Ryan is insane like that. And then I’ll have to hurt someone.

Brenda (Broncos): Thanks to Denver’s blatant disregard for a DT, the Broncos need at a defensive tackle. The Broncos released Justin Bannan before the CBA expired, and could bring him back.

Melissa (Lions): No, Kristine, you can’t have him!
Melissa (Lions): He’s mine!

Lauren (Packers): I definitely don’t want Asomugha. He’s not a good fit with the Pack.

Kristine (Jets): HAHA Kristen
Kristine (Jets): No! We get him!

Melissa (Lions): There’s about to be a girl fight!

Patty (Rams): I see the fighting is not just over Megatron.

Kristen (Patriots): You have REVIS! You don’t need Nnamdi. I have Bodden. You already win the CB battle.

Lauren (Packers): Ted Thompson is big on signing his current free agents. I expect that to happen first before looking elsewhere. Amanda?

Kristine (Jets): But Revis and Nnamdi…that would be AWESOME.

Melissa (Lions): I know, we’ve already established Megatron is mine.

Brenda (Broncos): Maybe Denver goes with Bannan: The Sequel, someone else via free agency, then pick up a running back. DeAngelo Williams, I’m talking to you.

Colleen (Bears): The ones I really wanted have gotten the franchise tag.

Kristen (Patriots): Conversely, I’d also like Steve Smith or Tamba Hali.

Amanda (Packers): I heard talk of Packers dropping Grant. IF they do I think they’ll sign him back. I don’t think they’d want to lose him.

Colleen (Bears): I guess right now I’d want to grab Willie Colon.
Colleen (Bears): Though I’d go for Sidney Rice, too.

Kristine (Jets): Will definitely be interesting to see where Nnamdi, Steve Smith (Carolina), & DeAngelo (Williams) go.

Brenda (Broncos): If I had to choose at DT on the market, I’d take Cullen Jenkins. Sorry, Lauren.

Lauren (Packers): They have another year on Grant, right? See Starks stepping up. I’m hoping Ted re-signs Peprah and Kuhn before worrying about RB. We are too pass-heavy.

Colleen (Bears): But I doubt we’re going to be looking at any WR this year, which I think is a mistake.

Patty (Rams): The Rams are almost set on offense. A back up RB would be nice though. I like DeAngelo Williams as well.

Patty (Rams): We need to build more on defense: LB, S, and the list goes on. But it wouldn’t hurt to have a shut down corner.

Patty (Rams): I agree with Colleen. There’s still no clear-cut #1 WR for the Bears.

Colleen (Bears): The Bears really aren’t set on anything.

Colleen (Bears): Except, QB – which I know a lot of people disagree with.

» Continue reading “Aerys Huddle 3.3 – Free Agency”

Another week has gone by with no word from the 8th Circuit Court of Appeals.  Stay or not to Stay?  Or my personal favorite from The Clash, “Should I Stay or Should I Go?”  If you missed my Lockout Serenade to Judge Susan Nelson, here’s the link.  It got a RT from NFLPA’s George Atallah 2 days ago!

Wanna know what else is on my mind?  NFL, course, some NBA, and with a sprinkling of some Ohio State.

• Sounds like as of yesterday Brett Favre is back in the NFL news.  But at least this time he’s not contemplating returning to the playing field – yet.  Please Peyton Manning, stamp Favre’s retirement card and send it out.  Make this 3rd retirement official already!

“I don’t know (what I’ll do). I really don’t know,” Favre said. “Could be coaching, could be TV. Both of those are probably unlikely, at least anytime soon. I don’t see myself becoming a full-time coach anytime soon, at any level.

“I love to be around the kids. We’d love to get back and do things like that. … Will I get bored at whatever it is I’m doing? I’m sure I will. But, you know, I’ll just kind of take it as it comes – WDAM-TV Interview/Video

• And this just breaking as I’m writing this: Ohio State University is under investigation again.  This time for 50 car sales.  From The Columbus Dispatch. For Michigan fans, it’s been the gift that keeps on giving.

• There’s been lots of buzz around Plaxico Burress being released from prison in about a month.  June 6th to be exact.  Many Giants fans seem to be excited but there’s no guarantees that he’ll be back in NYC.  What do you think Rams fans?  Does Spags bend the 4 Pillars even more and take a chance on Plax?  Tell me what you think.

• Keeping with the WR theme: Tennessee Titans are saying they probably will not resign Randy Moss.  I can see that.  But why would they think Randy Moss would want to return to the Titans?   They have a running game but Jeff Fisher’s gone and they don’t have a real QB.  Maybe Moss can weasel his way back to Foxboro?

• Another WR making news is Carolina Panthers’ Steve Smith.  Reports have his potential landing spots as San Diego and possibly Oakland.  He’s a great talent but can we trust him to stay healthy?  If Steve Smith bolts to the Bolts where does that leave Cam Newton?  Uh oh…

• Of course, I wouldn’t be a proper Bulls fan without giving props to my team for the blow out last night.  Did you guys see some of the sick moves DRose made?  I think if they keep playing like this they can go for the hat trick: Coach of the Year, MVP, and the Championship!  I do have to say this though.  It did worry me that DRose scored 44 of the Bulls’ 99 points.  Amazing as he is I don’t think he can keep that up.  Everyone else needs to start contributing more.

• On the flip side, the Lakers…  Is anyone else calling it the end of the their dynasty?  Wow, if you would have told me they’d be DOWN 0-3 to the Mavs I would have said no way.

• Dirk was insane last night inside the paint and from beyond the arc.  It didn’t help that Ron Ron wasn’t on the floor but Bynum did contribute and had flashes of greatness at times.

• I loved that #TrustIssues kept popping up on my Twitter timeline during the game.

• Looks like the Zen Master’s quest for his 3rd Three-peat could be coming to a surprising end.  Let’s see what the Lakers bring in game 4.

• Keep an eye out for my Stan Kroenke article.  I’m working on it this weekend.

For you Derby fans enjoy the weekend and everyone else, #refresh!

Faith. Character. Core values. Team first.

These describe the pillars of Rams head coach Steve Spagnuolo’s basic framework for building the Rams roster, coaching staff and front office. But are they enough to build and maintain a winning team and organization?

Honestly, I am torn between what my heart is feeling and what head is telling me. *Cue REO Speedwagon’s “Should I follow my head, or follow my heart?” in the background.

My heart feels the Rams should stay true to the Four Pillars. Building the team through those four qualities is right way to establish a great organization. Bringing in proven distractions to a locker room trying to establish itself isn’t the prudent thing to do. You can imagine my relief last year when the team passed on Vincent Jackson (Preseason hold out and had to serve a 6 game suspension for violating the NFL personal conduct policy) and the enigma that is Randy Moss (Disgruntled Patriot turned ousted Viking turned Titan). I just couldn’t see the rewards outweighing the obvious risks. I’m not suggesting every single player Spags and Billy Devaney pick be perfect choir boys. No one like that realistically exists. But they can make sure to avoid players with unmistakable red flags despite their potential upsides.

One good example of sticking to the Four Pillars principle is when Rams decided to release Richie Incognito in 2009. He was a good player but his on-field disciplinary issues cost the team. The thing is the Rams didn’t really have the luxury of getting rid of Incognito but it was the right thing to do at the time.

On the other hand, my head is telling me despite having right intentions, the Four Pillars would not stand without a solid base of talent. This reminded me of an old Sunday school lesson from childhood.

… The wise man built his house on the rock. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock. … The foolish man built his house on sand. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell with a great crash.”

Same holds true for the house that Spags built. He can bring in guys that live up to the Four Pillars but without a foundation of talent and physical abilities his house will not stand.

The Rams had that very combination of talent and character in OJ Atogwe yet because of an $8M roster bonus they released him back in February. They had hoped to bring him back later but lost him to the Redskins. I’m sure their current DC, (former Rams DC/interim HC) Jim Haslett, was all too happy to sign his former safety. From a business standpoint I suppose I understand why the Rams let Atogwe go but for the sake of team unity/continuity and the great leadership they should have found a way to keep him. His departure now becomes a big need they have to try and fill during this offseason.