The Orioles Are Like A Cookie

I decided to do something a little different this holiday season: figure out how to make Orioles cookies. I didn’t have too much time today to make my own dough, so I resorted to what I had grabbed at the supermarket as my last resort: Pillsbury slice-and-bake dough. It’s my go-to dough when I don’t really have time on my hands. Basically, here’s all you need to try this yourself:

You don't need the Milkbones. Those are for my sheepdogs.

You do, however, need an oven, which should be preheated to about 350 degrees Fahrenheit. At least that’s what Pillsbury says, so I just went with it.

The next step, naturally, is to take the dough and shape it into an Orioles O logo. Try to match it to the pretzels at Camden Yards, like this:

Then you stick it in the preheated oven and wait, say, ten minutes or so. Pillsbury says to wait between eight to twelve minutes. It’ll probably vary depending on your oven, of course, because these things tend to work best if you do them by eye.

Naturally, whenever the Orioles try anything, it doesn’t work out. That even extends to cookies:

That O shape became a giant blob.

I think this would work a lot better if I were to do this with something that requires a stronger bonding agent, such as pretzels – pretzels hold their shapes well because they’ve got more flour and yeast, which is why you can make pretzels in the shape of an O. The cookie dough isn’t strong enough to hold the shape, so this happens. It’s a lot like the Orioles themselves – they’re not strong enough yet to hold their shape, and so they’re not really all that successful.

But hey – the cookie still tasted good. And hey – the Orioles still play baseball, the greatest game in the world. There’s always a silver lining.

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