As the start of free agency draws closer and closer, speculation over the possible landing spots for this year’s long list of top free agents heats up. The Jets have found themselves the subject of an awful lot of said speculation, most of it involving the future of Colts QB Peyton Manning, who many believe is the only thing separating this team from a Super Bowl ring. (Sorry, just can’t control that sarcasm button sometimes).

As if that whole dog and pony show wasn’t enough, in the past few days the rumors have been kicked up to a whole new level of preposterous. Now it seems that just about every NFL player looking for a place to call home next season should be on the Jets wish list. It doesn’t matter if it makes sense financially or in the system. Oh, no. Because according to the internet, any player looking for a suitor is a player the Jets will consider.

Don’t believe me? Read on and you’ll see.

Randy Moss – Randy Moss announced that he will be coming out of retirement and returning to football yesterday, and it took all of 5 seconds for the Jets to be on the list of teams suspected to show interest.

One of the best receivers ever? Yes. A good fit for the 2012 Jets? No.

ESPN‘s senior NFL analyst John Clayton got the ball rolling when he speculated that the Jets, among other teams, would be interested in acquiring the “unretired” NFL receiver.

Ummm….okay.

With all due respect to Mr.Clayton and his football knowledge, he cannot be serious. An aging, diva receiver is the last thing that the Jets need opposite Santonio Holmes. That would be the hottest mess in the history of hot messes.

Frankly, this sounds an awful lot like last summer, when it was widely speculated that the Jets were interested in acquiring Moss. I was very open about how it was not only a terrible idea, but that it was nothing more than a sad attempt by journalists to drum up headlines during a lockout. I believe the exact same thing is happening now and I’m willing to make a pretty hefty bet on it.

Here’s what we do know: According to Pro Football Talk, Moss’ agent Joel Segal revealed that 3 NFL teams have inquired about the receiver and Segal expects to hear from more in the coming weeks. Segal would not reveal the names of these mystery teams. The Dallas Cowboys have already been crossed off the list (also according to PFT), but really, who thought the Cowboys were interested? I, for one, did not.

So some teams are dumb enough to want Randy Moss – who spent time on 3 NFL teams in his last season of the league and then retired – on their team because he can allegedly still run pretty fast? That’s brilliant.

Stop me when I am making something up here, guys.

Bottom line: As I outlined in my look at this year’s free agent wide receiver class, the Jets are in need of a younger, fresher face to add now and for the future. Moss would just be another bandaid.

Brandon Jacobs – Jacobs has now been linked to the Jets courtesy of the running back’s comments to the New York Times explaining his ”respect” for how Rex Ryan “handles his business”

He told the Times:

It was a situation. We were rivals then. There’s no apology needed.

I like the way Rex handles his business. The guys on that team I know, know how I feel.

Pro Football Talk, in their usual fashion, headlined their version of the story saying Jacobs “would be interested in joining the Jets.”

As far as I can tell, he simply tried to make it sound like his, “Rex Ryan is a disrespectful bastard” comments were only something he said because he’s a stupid pompous jerk-face that was caught up in the moment and that, in his current situation (a dude who needs a contract badly), there are  no longer any hard feelings. He just wanted to clarify he totally doesn’t think Rex Ryan is a fat boy that needs to shut up (I won’t call it a full retraction) because maybe, just maybe, he might need to pretend he didn’t say those things when the Giants don’t pay him and he’s desperate for a team to call home.

But he never said he was interested in playing here, PFT. Just to be clear.

Bottom line: At the risk of offending Giants fans, let’s all be serious. Brandon Jacobs is an ass idiot that is nearing the end of his football career. He was effective this year for the Giants and an integral part of their successful season, but adding him to the Jets backfield is not going to give the Gang Green’s rushing attack the kind of boost they are looking for (they already have Greene; they don’t need more of the same) and it’s most certainly not going to help with their locker room situation.

This isn’t happening.

Hines Ward – Honestly, people? Hines Ward, while a fan favorite, has deteriorated as a player and is likely at the end of his football career. And haven’t the Jets done their fair share of experimenting with wide receivers past their expiration date?

I wish Hines the best but he should really consider retiring, with dignity, as a Steeler.

Bottom line: I can’t really even entertain this as a possibility.

Peyton Manning – The Manning to the Jets rumors have died down a bit (as I suspected) as other teams have emerged as “frontrunners” for the QB. Among them are the Redskins, Dolphins, Cardinals, Seahawks and yes, the Texans.

While reports continue to circulate that Jets owner Woody Johnson will pursue Manning in free agency, recent revelations regarding the team’s cap situation have shed a light on this pipe dream. It seems doubtful, even with a backloaded contract, that the Jets could get into a legit bidding war for the QB.

There is also the small matter of Peyton’s health, which continues to create controversy and remain a complete mystery. Some say he is fine (Mortensen, Peyton’s camp) while other’s claim he has a “noodle arm.” Sounds like a great gamble to me. (Insert sarcasm font here).

Bottom line: I don’t want to burst any bubbles, but well — I think I just did.

*I can’t even believe I have to say this, but in this day and age, apparently I do: Please understand I am not literally calling Peyton Manning, or anyone of these dudes, a misfit toy. The title of this post is just supposed to be a witty, humorous, snappy, crafty way of enticing you to read on. So please, hold the hate mail, google “misfit toys”, check out the photo of the cute little Rankin/Bass characters and have a nice day.