I don’t know if you’ve heard, but this little movie about a boy wizard is about to be released. You’ve probably never heard of it.
Since I have Harry Potter on the brain, I should do the only logical thing:Â I need to sort a few Steelers into the Houses at Hogwarts. If you are not familiar with the books/movies, students at the magical boarding school are sorted into one of four Houses: Gryffindor, Slytherin, Ravenclaw, or Hufflepuff. Each House values specific characteristics and students are typically sorted based on these characteristics.
Hines Ward â€“ Gryffindor
Gryffindors are brave, courageous, and vocal leaders. There are many vocal players on this team, but Hines is a true leader. There is also a certain amount of bravery and courage to go on a nationally televised dancing competition. Especially when it requires wearing sparkly costumes week in and week out. Granted, Gryffindors aren’t always known for making wise decisions, so I wouldn’t kick him out of Gryffindor just because of his recent brush with the law.
Ben Roethlisberger â€“ Slytherin.
Ben isnâ€™t a Slytherin because thatâ€™s the House of the â€œbad guys.â€ Ben is a Slytherin because of his ambition, determination, and cunning, all characteristics of a true Slytherin. How many times have we seen Ben throw off a linebacker, avoid a potential sack, and find a way to get a first down? Those characteristics make him a Slytherin.
Troy Polamalu â€“ Ravenclaw
Ravenclaws place an importance on intelligence. Troy adds a certain amount of strategy to the game. Other teams must account for him at all times. Why? Heâ€™s always one step ahead of everyone else. Everyone is playing football, but Troy is playing a game of chess. Not to mention he recently graduated from USC, so he certainly places an importance on education. Nerd.
Heath Miller â€“ Hufflepuff
Hufflepuffs are marked by their hard work, loyalty, and dedication. They are often overlooked. Heath is one of the top tight ends in the game, but heâ€™s usually overlooked in that regard. He doesnâ€™t play for stats. Heâ€™s a superb blocker. Heâ€™s dependable as a receiver. But heâ€™s soft-spoken and (thankfully) doesnâ€™t make headlines off the field. Heâ€™s a leader through his hard work and actions. A true Hufflepuff in my book.
So let me just put on my sorting hat, and sort just a few of the other members of the Pittsburgh Steelers.
- Ryan Clark
- James Farrior
- James Harrison
- Maurkice Pouncey
- LaMarr Woodley
- Rashard Mendenhall
- Mike Wallace
- Charlie Batch
- Matt Spaeth
- Brett Keisel
- Aaron Smith