You are the Chicago White Sox. Coming into this game, you had a .530 winning percentage. That’s a 35-31 record. You were up 1.5 games on the Cleveland Indians. The Indians won tonight, however. And because you lost horribly tonight, they’re only half a game behind you. What are you going to do about that, White Sox?
I don’t even want to talk about what happened to you tonight, but since this is a game recap, I kind of have to. You lost 12-3. Zach Stewart got the start tonight, as Robin Ventura opted to give Jake Peavy and Chris Sale a little bit more rest for the week. In return, Stewart basically vomitted all over the field and himself in the 5.2 innings he pitched. He gave up six runs, all earned on nine hits. All of those runs came on FOUR HOME RUNS. Which is horribly awful and makes me want to cry rivers of tears. Will Ohman came on to pitch, and he lasted 0.2 innings, giving up two runs on one hit. Oh, but it gets worse.
“No, Jen. It can’t get worse,” you say. I’m sorry, fair reader, but it does. Nate Jones, who came into the game with a 2.14 ERA faced five batters in the seventh and failed to record an out. Yup. Every single one of them got a hit, and four runs scored. You thought Stewart vomitted on himself and the field? So did Jones. But he did it without recording outs. And ballooning his ERA to 3.21.
Hector Santiago was our saving grace of the evening. He pitched 2.2 innings and didn’t allow a hit or a walk! No base runners! Woo hoo! He even struck out three batters!
Because the pitching was so bad in this game, Robin started taking starters out in the eighth. Eduardo Escobar hit for Gordon Beckham who went 1-for-3. Later that inning, Brent Lillibridge hit for Paul Konerko who went 1-for-3 and hit a two-run homer that scored Beckham in the sixth. In the ninth, Robin made more changes. Jordan Danks replaced Alex Rios in right, and Tyler Flowers replaced AJ Pierzynski who provided the only other run on the night, a solo home run in the fifth.
Only one Sox player had more than one hit. Alexei Ramirez went 2-for-3 tonight. Adam Dunn also picked up a hit, but he also struck out three times tonight.
Your level of play was so bad tonight, White Sox, that I can’t even find an appropriate picture for this post. So that’s why Manfred is at the top of this post. Cheryl gives you Cookie Monster with vegetables, Jen gives you Manfred.
Maybe tomorrow the Sox can manage to not be pulverized into tiny little pieces by the Cubs. Jake Peavy takes the mound and faces Travis Wood, so I have a bit more faith that the Cubs won’t score 12 freaking runs tomorrow.
EDIT: Per White Sox beat writers on Twitter, John Danks has a grade 1 sub-scapula tear but was assured by team doctor Gregory Nicholson that he would not need surgery. He is out indefinitely.