Shut the hell up about not liking soccer already

Within moments of the U.S. Men’s National Team’s qualification for the 2014 World Cup in Brazil, the biggest moment for U.S. Soccer in recent memory, the anti-soccer trolls were out in full force.

There was this guy:



And this one:




This very worldly guy:



This annoying chick:



And, of course, what is soccer compared to the very exciting spectator sport of cycling?



I could go on and on, but I won’t. Because here’s the thing: No other sport brings out the trolls like soccer does. It’s almost as if people who don’t understand the game are compelled to tell you how much it sucks and how boring it is. These are usually the same people who love no-hitters and watching drivers make left-hand turns for three hours straight.

We get it. You don’t understand or like soccer. Fine. Don’t watch it. But please refrain from feeling the need to tell all of fans (and by “all of us fans” I mean 90% of the world’s population) what you think of our beloved sport. I don’t notice a flood of “football is stupid and barbaric” tweets during the Super Bowl, or even “my God this is the dumbest thing ever” during Big Brother broadcasts.

If you don’t like soccer, it’s your loss. And we don’t care. You’re not going to change our minds, and it just makes you look like a uncultured moron. So sit down, shut up, and go watch something else. Just spare us your superficial and ill-informed analysis of a game you clearly don’t understand.

They don’t call it The Beautiful Game for nothing.

4 thoughts on “Shut the hell up about not liking soccer already

  1. This article is almost as boring as a soccer game.

  2. kaufmak says:

    Yeah, I get the same thing for being a Phish fan. Yes, I know they suck, so please leave me alone.

  3. The soccer trolls “boring” tweets are what bore me to tears. Get over yourselves already. The sport is here, it’s growing and people LOVE IT. Grow up and go watch something else.

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