So. We’ve now been officially locked out. You know what happened last lockout? A horrible thing. A 10 year old girl forgot about hockey and focused on soccer and school. She barely paid attention for the NEXT THREE YEARS. BECAUSE EVIL FORCES HAD TAKEN AWAY THE SPORT AND THEN HER DEVELOPING BRAIN PUSHED IT TO THE BACK OF THE “JOY” PILE AND IT LAID THERE DUSTY AND DESOLATE. Spoiler alert: I’m talking about me. Only this time, I am all too cognizant of what is happening. My brain (while still developing), will not cast aside this joy again. Instead, it will grieve.
I know that hockey is not gone. I know that there is the AHL, the CHL, ECHL, college teams to watch. Still, let’s be honest: only one team holds my heart. That team wears burgundy and blue. That team has a dorky little arch that they lower before every game to dramatize the entrance. That team wears a yeti’s footprint on their shoulder, and a natural disaster on their front. That team…oh how I love that team. Don’t get me wrong, I love the sport of hockey, and will surely enjoy watching other teams. Yet none of them will ignite that same fire in my belly. None of their jerseys will send “happy” neurons firing through my brain. (I’m too tired to be scientific. Apologies, mainly to my science teachers, should you ever read this.)
So after these two paragraphs, I’ve probably deepened your depression even further. To show you that you’re not alone, here’s a list of my planned activities this week:
- Screaming. Lots of screaming. I like to do this when I’m frustrated. Unfortunately, if you scream too loudly, people tend to call the cops. (You notice how someone only reports screaming in unnecessary situations? Where were these goody two shoes during EVERY episode of “Criminal Minds?”) Thus, I will be screaming into my pillow. That way, the only ones who can hear me are my concerned cat and dog.
- I am going to get a killer work out on the eliptical. Every time I swing my arm/foot forward, I am going to imagine I am beating the owners into submission.
- I am going to take a personal health day. For me, this means reading Harry Potter in bed, curled up with my cat, eating cereal all day.
- I will leave all of my Avalanche gear stored away in it’s dresser corner. (At the beginning of summer, I stored it up hoping for luck during the upcoming season. Obviously, I read the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants one too many times. Also, I was not specific in my desire that the upcoming season would be starting in October 2012.)
Alright, that’s about all I can write.