As the Ryan Seacrest compound was popping bottles of champagne and lighting cigars with burning hundred dollar bills, the nation was mourning the loss of Dick Clark. Seacrest’s rise to absolute power is complete. As Tupac returned to the stage this week in a form of a hologram, somewhere a cloaked Seacrest is talking to his minions via hologram and demanding they refer to him as Emperor Seacrestine.
Of course I’m kidding. (No, I’m not.) As the Yankees head into Boston this weekend, I found it appropriate to honor Mr. Clark with a countdown of all things Boston. Normally, I would take this opportunity to lambaste Boston, but that’s not the way Dick would have done it. We’ll see how the weekend goes though. There might be a new list on Monday.
So here it is. My Top Ten Greatest Things About Boston:
10) Terry Francona–I always loved this guy. Classy and a winner. Won 2 World Series with Boston and then was the scapegoat for a monumental September collapse last year. He was replaced with Bobby Valentine this year. That move is like me dumping Kate Upton for Octomom because she ate my last granola bar.
9) Tom Brady–This guy has it all. Multiple Super Bowl winner, supermodel wife and a first ballot Hall of Famer. I mean seriously, what’s not to like? Kudos Tom, you are one of a kind.
8 ) New England Clam Chowder–It’s delicious. Who would get the Manhattan clam chowder over the New England if given the choice? Sociopaths. That’s who.
7) Tom Brady–A two-time Super Bowl loser to the New York Football Giants. The only quarterback to lose twice to the Giants in the big game. I mean seriously, what’s not to like? Kudos Tom, you are one of a kind.
4) Wade Boggs–What a fantastic player for the Red Sox. Gave everything he had for the eleven years he was with them. A franchise player. The type of player you’d never let walk away and sign with the Yankees. Oops. Boggs won his only World Series while playing with the Yankees in 1996.
1) Wings–NBC sitcom from 1990-97. Extremely underrated show that took place on Nantucket. I still DVR this show and laugh out loud during it. I am the President and only member of the Wings Fan Club and Tony Shalhoub has a restraining order against me. That means he noticed me!!
There it is. You may have noticed I skipped some numbers in my countdown, but quite frankly, so would Dick. Enjoy the Yanks/Sox matchup this weekend. Each year this series gets tighter and tighter. Pete Abraham of the Boston Globe tweeted yesterday:
“Last 10 years: #RedSox 93 wins, #Yankees 92. Avg score: Sox 5.46, Yanks 5.24. Crazy.”
It is crazy and a good reason to not hang on every pitch. Chances are if one team loses, they’ll bounce back the next day. The numbers don’t lie. If you start to feel anxiety or start to get too worked up, just take a deep breath and do a countdown from 10.