Right now, the Yankees are playing the Detroit Tigers and trying to avoid a three-game sweep in Comerica Park. As this is happening, I figured it would be the perfect time to do a free association post of sorts and just write down what comes to my mind, baseball related and maybe not-so-baseball related.

Enjoy!

This week has been pretty terrible for the Yankees. I mean, losing two out of three to the Red Sox at home to open the season is bad enough but then attempting to fight off a three-game sweep at the hands of the Tigers and facing Justin Verlander? And I thought my week was bad.

I’m having computer issues. My four-year-old MacBook’s hard drive is on its way out and I’m crossing my fingers it lasts one more day until the new hard drive I ordered arrives. You can cross your fingers too if you’d like. Right now, I’m using my dad’s laptop which stinks of cigarettes and is making my hands and room smell but desperate times call for desperate measures. I’m a full-time blogger so I need a computer in order to work.

I don’t know about you guys but I’m finding myself turning Yankee games off in the middle innings – save the Pettitte game because it’s the only game they won and the only game in which the starter pitched well. The games have been torture. And not’s like I’m surprised by this. I figured they’d start off slowly because of all of the injuries but I was hoping the pitching would be okay. So far, it hasn’t been.

I’m also finding it hard to stay on Twitter during the games because some people are acting as if it’s September and the Yankees are in the middle of a pennant race. It’s April, it’s too early to panic and everyone needs to chillax.

The other thing that’s been bothering me this week is the reaction to the lineups when they’re posted. It’s not like we didn’t know Tex, Granderson, Jeter and A-Rod would be out so why all of the outrage? I mean, it’s every single day. This is how it’s going to be until May. It’s now April 7 so we have a while to deal with it. Get used to it already for the love of God.

I’m actually not in a bad mood but some of the stuff I’m seeing from my fellow fans and fellow bloggers makes me want to shake my head.

Let’s talk about something good that’s happening now: the weather. It’s gradually becoming more Spring-like which is nice. At this moment, it’s 55 degrees and I have both windows open in my room. It’s very pleasant. Although, I’m sure my nose and head will be angry with me later when I start sneezing and I develop a pounding headache.

A week from today, I’ll be attending my first Yankee game of the season. I went to Citifield on Thursday to see the Mets take on the San Diego Padres. The Mets lost. It’s amusing but I actually was watching the game but really don’t recall much of what happened. I think it was because I didn’t have a list of players in front of me and I had no idea who anyone was. It could have also been the 100 kids who were seated behind me who were yelling the whole time. They were there on a school trip. From looking at them I assume they were early high school or possibly late junior high/middle school aged. Who knows? I’m so bad at that. As much as the yelling and screaming was irritating me, I wanted to thank them for making me not feel bad about the fact that I am probably not having kids.

Back to the Yankees, it’s 3-0 in the bottom of the second. What the hell happened? Oh, I should point out, it’s 3-0 Yankees. Interesting, huh?

More interesting stuff, R.A. Dickey gave up five runs in the first inning to the Red Sox at the Rogers Centre. Oops.

I love baseball, don’t you?

I have a confession to make: I haven’t been wowed this offseason, none of the moves that have been made – Yankees and non-Yankees – have elicited much of a reaction from me. It’s so bad that I think I really should change my name to Pierre because I don’t care.

In case you have no idea what I’m talking about (and I’m pretty sure you don’t), I’m referring to a character from the 1975 TV movie “Really Rosie“. If you’re in your late 30′s – early 40′s, you know that “Really Rosie” was a musical based on Maurice Sendak’s books and Carole King voiced the character of Rosie. It was shown on TV, played in elementary school assemblies and sometimes performed by students in your schools (at least that all happened in my school).

Anyway, the character of Pierre was a bit of a curmudgeon, which I am slowly morphing into as I age and his answer to everything was, “I don’t care.”

That’s me.

I don’t care that the Yankees signed Kevin Youkilis, well, at least not as much as others seem to be affected by it. Some people are going so far as to say, “I’m still going to boo him!” Really? You’d think the fact that the Red Sox traded him away last season would lessen the blow of the Yankees acquiring him but no, people are determined to act like morons. Have fun with that.

I don’t care that the Yankees signed Ichiro Suzuki for two-years even though he is older than I am. See? I can’t even think of anything to say right now.

I don’t care that the Angels signed Josh Hamilton to a five-year for $125 million dollars. Okay, I’ll be honest, I think it’s amusing but other than that? Meh. Next.

I don’t care that the Red Sox signed Ryan Dempster. Actually, I don’t care about anything they did this offseason. Mike Napoli? So what? Shane Victorino? Who cares.

Even the fact that the Dodgers and Angels have taken the “we’re going to get everyone and pay an exorbitant amount of money” crown from the Yankees, yep, you guessed it. I don’t care.

What is wrong with me?

I love baseball and I usually love the Hot Stove season but I am just indifferent this year. Maybe it’s a carry over from how the postseason ended for the Yankees. Maybe I’m preparing myself for the $189 million reality that Yankee fans are going to have to get used to. Or maybe, I just don’t care and there’s no rhyme or reason about it.

Does it make me a bad Yankee fan because this news doesn’t bother me at all? Other people are flipping out at the thought of a dynasty member like Tino Martinez wearing a Red Sox uniform and I actually couldn’t care less.

In fact, I think it’s a great opportunity for him. It’s a way for him to get back into Major League Baseball. So what if it’s with the Red Sox?

The dynasty ended 11 years ago. People need to move on. Yes, Tino was great for us but the man needs to make a living, right?

Anyway, I wish him the best of luck and hope he gets the gig. It’ll be good to see him again.

Typical.

The 10-game winning streak has come to an end.  I thought for sure that they would run the table all the way to the Canyon of Heroes.  This loss ranks right up there with the other major disappointments in my life.  Sally McDermont returning my note in the 2nd grade that read, “Do you like me? Circle one. Yes or No?” with a “No.”, the cancellation of “Arrested Development” and I never organized that game of kickball where you need to use a Slip and Slide to reach each base.  Well, there’s still time for that last one.

Here’s the deal though, how the hell am I supposed to keep watching and rooting for a team that can’t win 11 straight? Maybe you like wasting your time with teams that can only win 80% 0f their last 25 games, but not this guy.  In Sabathia’s last start, he threw a complete game and ONLY got 10K.  Pfffffffffffffft.  That’s less than half the batters!!  And he is TIED for the AL lead in wins with Nova. Uh, he gets paid a lot of money.  There’s no reason why he shouldn’t be alone in the lead.  Neither one of these guys will step up and be a #1 starter, I guess.

This is a sinking ship, my friends.  The Yankees didn’t even hit a home run tonight.  If the 3-4-5 hitters can’t hit home runs, we might as well trade half the lineup.  And don’t get me started on the Red Sox.  They are now one game over .500 and are breathing down the Yankees’ necks.  I told you guys that Bobby V would deliver the goods.  Bottom line is, Superman has a tear in his cape and it can’t get anything but worse from here.  Abandon ship.  DOOM.

(This was inspired by delusional “fans” on Twitter.  This is how they think and feel.  It’s astonishing and there is no cure.)

Excuse me one second but

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Wow. What a game. I would say I’ve never seen anything like it but I have, in a way. I was at Yankee Stadium in May 2006 when the Yankees fell behind 9-0 in the second inning against the Texas Rangers and they were able to chip away, come back and win that game on a walk off home run by Jorge Posada.

Today’s game was different. The Yankees were down 9-0 going into the sixth inning and when they were finally able to score one run and most people were thinking, “Good! At least it’s not a shut out.”

Then the seventh inning happened. Most of us didn’t see the Yankees score their first four runs of that inning because across the country in Seattle, Philip Humber of the Chicago White Sox was about to complete a perfect game against the Mariners. FOX rightfully switched over to that game so we could all see history unfold in Safeco Field. After it did – Congrats to Humber, the White Sox and their fans – FOX switched back to the action in Fenway.

When we returned, Joe Buck and Tim McCarver were talking about Nick Swisher’s grand slam. They showed the replay and then, the scoring just kept happening.

In what seemed like a blink of an eye, Mark Teixeira made it a one run game on a three run home run. Buck even made it a point to say, two different times, “And with one swing of the bat, Mark Teixeira can make this a one run game.” And then BOOM! He did. So thanks for that bit of foreshadowing Joe Buck!

By the time the seventh inning was over, the game was within reach. After the eighth inning was over, the Yankees had a 15-9 lead. Swisher and Tex contributed to the scoring again, as did pretty much every other batter in the lineup, minus Andruw Jones. Swisher finished with six RBI on the day and now has 20 on the year. He reached 20 RBI last season on May 29.

To say this game was insane is an understatement. It was like we were all watching two different games. In game one, the Yankees couldn’t hit anything, the Red Sox batters had all the luck and Freddy Garcia was stinking up the joint. Then something happened and the roles were reversed, in the sixth, seventh and eighth innings it was the Yankees who had all the luck and the Red Sox pitching that was horrendous.

Isn’t baseball grand?

Courtesy of JorgeQuinteros/Flickr

As the Ryan Seacrest compound was popping bottles of champagne and lighting cigars with burning hundred dollar bills, the nation was mourning the loss of Dick Clark.  Seacrest’s rise to absolute power is complete.  As Tupac returned to the stage this week in a form of a hologram, somewhere a cloaked Seacrest is talking to his minions via hologram and demanding they refer to him as Emperor Seacrestine.

Of course I’m kidding. (No, I’m not.)  As the Yankees head into Boston this weekend, I found it appropriate to honor Mr. Clark with a countdown of all things Boston.  Normally, I would take this opportunity to lambaste Boston, but that’s not the way Dick would have done it.  We’ll see how the weekend goes though.  There might be a new list on Monday.

So here it is. My Top Ten Greatest Things About Boston:

10) Terry Francona–I always loved this guy. Classy and a winner.  Won 2 World Series with Boston and then was the scapegoat for a monumental September collapse last year.  He was replaced with Bobby Valentine this year.  That move is like me dumping Kate Upton for Octomom because she ate my last granola bar.

9) Tom Brady–This guy has it all. Multiple Super Bowl winner, supermodel wife and a first ballot Hall of Famer. I mean seriously, what’s not to like? Kudos Tom, you are one of a kind.

8 ) New England Clam Chowder–It’s delicious.  Who would get the Manhattan clam chowder over the New England if given the choice? Sociopaths. That’s who.

7) Tom Brady–A two-time Super Bowl loser to the New York Football Giants.  The only quarterback to lose twice to the Giants in the big game. I mean seriously, what’s not to like? Kudos Tom, you are one of a kind.

4) Wade Boggs–What a fantastic player for the Red Sox. Gave everything he had for the eleven years he was with them. A franchise player. The type of player you’d never let walk away and sign with the Yankees. Oops. Boggs won his only World Series while playing with the Yankees in 1996.

1) Wings–NBC sitcom from 1990-97.  Extremely underrated show that took place on Nantucket.  I still DVR this show and laugh out loud during it.  I am the President and only member of the Wings Fan Club and Tony Shalhoub has a restraining order against me.  That means he noticed me!!

There it is. You may have noticed I skipped some numbers in my countdown, but quite frankly, so would Dick. Enjoy the Yanks/Sox matchup this weekend. Each year this series gets tighter and tighter. Pete Abraham of the Boston Globe tweeted yesterday:

“Last 10 years: #RedSox 93 wins, #Yankees 92. Avg score: Sox 5.46, Yanks 5.24. Crazy.”

It is crazy and a good reason to not hang on every pitch. Chances are if one team loses, they’ll bounce back the next day. The numbers don’t lie. If you start to feel anxiety or start to get too worked up, just take a deep breath and do a countdown from 10.

OH MY GOD SHUT UP!

Out of all of the people on the YES Network, the one I miss the least this offseason is Michael Kay. I think March through October is more than enough time to deal with him and his schtick. He is just getting to be too much for me.

» Continue reading “Michael Kay Makes Me Want To Punch My Own Face”

BOBBY V MIGHT BE COMING!!!!

So I’m in the kitchen with my mom, shooting the breeze and talking about our day when I hear someone on the TV saying some nonsense about the Yankees fearing the Red Sox should Bobby Valentine become their manager. I laughed it off because it was some person on The Wheelhouse on SNY and I usually laugh them off. Then in a span of an hour, I heard the sentiment repeated two more times. Adam Schein and Frank Isola also said the same thing on Loudmouths, twice.

I know that SNY is the Mets channel but why on earth would the Yankees have to “fear” the Red Sox “if” Valentine becomes their manager?

Will his mere presence make them win 140 games? I don’t get it.

And apparently this meme is spreading like wildfire. People who write for ESPN NY and Harold Reynolds on MLB Network are also kissing Bobby V’s ass. (By the way, every time I’ve type Bobby I’ve had to correct myself because it keeps coming out as Booby. What does that say about him? Kidding.)

Is he a good manager? Sure. I’ll give him that but he hasn’t managed in a while. He’s been too busy torturing viewers on ESPN’s Sunday Night Baseball broadcasts this past season.

And how about waiting until he actually signs with Boston before making these crazy proclamations? Didn’t these people learn anything this past season? Remember all of “the Philly and Boston will be in the World Series!!” crap we had to endure before the season started? And look at what happened there. Yeah.

So, come on people. Chill.

Now that it is officially embarrassing to be associated with all things Red Sox, David Ortiz was waxing poetic about the Yankees organization and a possible stint in pinstripes.

Excuse me as I dry heave.

1. There’s no place for him on the roster – we already have a first baseman and if Jesus Montero’s defense is atrocious as some people make it out to be, he’ll be the DH.
2. Um, no.
3. Seriously, no.
4. Come on, really?

From an interview with ESPN’s Colleen Dominguez:

“It’s great (playing from the Yankees) from what I hear. It’s a good situation to be involved in. Who doesn’t want to be involved in a great situation where everything goes the right way?”

Yeah it’s great until you hurt your thumb, can’t hit in the playoffs, end a game on a strikeout which also, coincidentally, ends the season and then have fans chant, “[insert name] Sucks!” on the 4 train platform…

And following Mary J Blige’s lead, Ortiz is sick of the drama in Boston. No more for him.

“There’s too much drama (in Boston), man,” Ortiz told Dominguez. “There’s too much drama. I have been thinking about a lot of things. I don’t know if I want to be part of this drama for next year.

“Too much drama. My head is spinning way too much to deal with everything that is going on. I have unplugged, you know, and I have just been dealing with my family.”

He also added about the Yankees:

“They lost just like we did, they just went to the first round of the playoffs. I ain’t heard nobody coming out killing everybody just because they lost.”

No, darling. The Yankees actually made the playoffs, your team didn’t. It’s not the same thing. Not even close. They played five more games than you did. Nice try though.

He addressed some of the stuff from the Boston Globe article that came out yesterday which portrayed Josh Beckett, Jon Lester and John Lackey as beer guzzling, fried chicken eating, video game playing lazy asses.

Apparently the beer, fried chicken and video games helped the Red Sox win in 2004 and 2007:

“We had that when we won the World Series in 2004. We had that when we won the World Series in 2007. Beer in the clubhouse, it’s always been there. Video games, that’s always been there; guys eating fried chicken, that’s always been there.”

Well, that’s strange. What happened this year? Maybe it wasn’t good beer?

Anyway, sorry Papi, but I don’t think the Yankees will be calling you up anytime soon.

*if they do I will eat my 2009 World Series Champion Hat

Or at least that’s what everyone is saying.

In the night cap of yesterday’s double header, Jacoby Ellsbury hit a three run home run off Scott Proctor in the top of the 14th inning to guide the Red Sox to a 7-4 victory over the Yankees.

The game was an odd one for sure. John Lackey actually pitched well, Ivan Nova was doing well then appeared to get gassed as the game went on, the Yankees looked like they were on their way to another surefire win after a three run first inning but then were shut down the rest of the game – aside from a Chris Dickerson sac fly to tie the game at 4-4 in the seventh.

With the win, the Red Sox now have a one game Wild Card lead with three games left. The team on their tail, the Tampa Bay Rays will be welcoming the ‘very tired, yet already clinched everything they had to clinch so who cares’ Yankees to the Trop for the final three games of the season.

In the first game of the doubleheader, A.J. Burnett shocked the world by pitching into the eighth inning, only giving up two runs – two solo homers – and leading the Yankees to a 6-2 victory. Burnett easily had his best game of the season and it marked the first time he has beaten the Red Sox in his tenure with the Yankees.

Derek Jeter raised his average to .300 after the afternoon game and did not play in the night cap.

So now it’s on to Tampa where the big question for Joe Girardi will be: To rest or not to rest? We shall see.