Yesterday, Wendy Thurm of Fangraphs wrote a great piece about MLB’s selection of women’s clothing and accessories. She highlighted some of her favorite and not-so-favorite items, among them, a baby wrap carrier, pink jerseys made for women, handbags, and my personal favorite, thong underwear.
Personally, I’m a big proponent of dressing up in my team’s colors and I am most definitely not a pink jersey or hat kind of lady. I’m almost 40-years-old so wearing pink, I believe, would look a tad silly on me but if you’re over the age of 13 and enjoy wearing pink sports clothing, more power to you.
I happen to own a lot of Yankees’ items ranging from jeans to hoodies to t-shirts to sweatshirts. And of course, hats. In fact, I have so many Yankees’ clothes, I can do two loads of laundry that are solely navy and white with some gray thrown in for good measure. They’re also not always made for women, especially my sweatshirts and t-shirts. I prefer those to be big and roomy so I shop in the men’s department or men’s section of sports clothing websites for them.
Here are some examples of me in my Yankee-fied outfits:
Cute, right? (The clothes, not me.) I can look feminine in my team’s colors just as I would in something pink and/or bedazzled.
Anyway, this morning, I happened to be looking through the website FansEdge to see what new ladies’ items are out there. Here are some of the hits, misses and things that are so scary, I have no idea who thought of selling them in the first place.
First up, a one-piece footie pijamas suit:
Next, navy and white Zubaz pants:
Now this one, I couldn’t resist. Who wouldn’t want a thong thong thong thong thong? (Oh just sing it like Sisqo.)
This next item will probably never be seen on my body. For one thing, I haven’t had a reason to wear a bathing suit in seven years and I plan on keeping it that way. Two, if I were to purchase a bathing suit, it would have to be much bigger than this.
Wait, hold the phone. I interrupt this post for the biggest crime against humanity, in the history of ever. Ladies, if I see any of you wearing this atrocity, I’m ripping it from your body. I’m serious so don’t make me have to do it…
My brother once bought a green Yankee jersey to wear on St. Patrick’s Day – he wanted to honor our 25% Irish heritage and I nearly disowned him for it. Just say no to green, people.
I really needed to get the bad taste out of my mouth and this next item is not helping me out at all.
For the love of God people: NEW YORK YANKEES’ JERSEYS DO NOT HAVE NAMES ON THE BACK! Never, not under any circumstance! We know who the numbers belong to and in this case, when you’re wearing #36 just say you’re honoring David Cone.
Okay, what the hell is this?
How can you even tell this is a Yankee item? Oh, right, the tiny interlocking NY lost in the midst of the disgusting yellow font! This is even worse than the green t-shirt and jersey with the name on the back combined. What a travesty.
Last, but certainly not least, feather earrings because what says New York Yankees more than a pair of feather earrings.
I really hope I see an adult woman wearing those earrings at the Stadium this season though I’ll admit, I probably won’t be able to control my reaction to seeing them. It could be laughter, it could be horror, who knows. What I do know is the manufacturers of women’s clothing and accessories are – despite examples to the contrary – making great strides in what they make for us and we now have a lot of wearable options to choose from, which is really nice.
So if you want to wear pink, green, feathers or just plain old navy and white to Yankee games, you can. And don’t worry, I was only kidding about ripping your green t-shirts off your body.