Prediction: Hurricane Ryno will lay waste to Wrigley

I’m a bit concerned about what’s going to go down at Wrigley Field this afternoon. I imagine it will happen something like this:

Ryne Sandberg is introduced to the crowd to deafening applause. The “Committed” fans will jump up and down and stomp their feet, further compromising the structural integrity of Wrigley Field. Someone might be killed by falling concrete. The game will start. Somewhere along the line, Dale will do something Dale-esque, like put Marmol in to close  getting ejected or watching while Kevin Gregg blows a save. Mind you, this seminal event doesn’t even have to be Dale’s fault, per se, it just has to appear that way to the “Committed” crowd. Once we pass the event horizon, there will be no stopping the power of the “Committed” fans’ commitment. Wrigley will come down. A hundred or so of them will shelter Ryno from the carnage, while the rest of them tear the place apart. Anthony Rizzo will probably be spared. Starlin Castro will not. Dale Sveum will be burned at the stake on the pitchers mound. Wrigley will lie in ruins. Sandberg will rise from the ashes and will be paraded around the field on the committed backs of the very committed fans.

image-ryne-sandberg-chicago-cubsAt least the argument over how much of Wrigley needs to be renovated will be put to rest.

Okay, so I’m joking (kinda). But there is going to be an epic hue and cry at Wrigley today, and it’s going to be really obnoxious for most of us to witness. Should the Cubs have hired Ryne Sandberg instead of Mike Quade? Undoubtedly. Hell, the Cubs should have hired ME instead of Mike Quade. Or like, Dora the Explorer. Not having a manager might have even been preferable to hiring Mike Quade, so this debate is stupid. We’re all on the same page.

Should Jed and Theo have hired Ryne Sandberg instead of Dale Sveum? That remains to be seen. At the time, Ryno had a reputation for really teeing off on players and umps in the minors, and maybe that’s not what Jed and Theo wanted in a manager that was going to have to shephard the youngins along. He’s also never been known as a big SABR guy (for lack of a better term), and that probably played into their decision as well. I mean, can you see Ryno putting in an all right-handed lineup against Clayton Kershaw? I can’t.

But let’s be clear about one thing: as much as I like to make fun of Dale Sveum, he’s not the reason the Cubs have been extremely unwatchable and highly beatable this season. Having Ryne Sandberg, Jim Leyland, or even Casey Stengel wouldn’t change the fact that this team is largely 1) very young and b) extremely untalented (with few exceptions).

So when Ryne Sanberg is introduced to the crowd today, cheer your hearts out. Cheer because one of the greatest Cubs of all time is doing what he wants to do. Cheer because you’re happy to have him back at Wrigley Field. Cheer for everything he did as a Cub and for everything you hope he accomplishes as a manager. Cheer for him because you don’t know how NOT to cheer for Ryne Sandberg.

Just don’t cheer for what might have been.  What might have been is right before your eyes.


11 thoughts on “Prediction: Hurricane Ryno will lay waste to Wrigley

  1. johnnywest333 says:

    Bravo Julie! Hats off to you for writing this piece. (Standing ovation)

    1. juliedicaro says:

      Yet, not as big of an ovation as Ryno is going to get.

  2. juliedicaro says:

    Appaerntly not much of an ovation for Ryno. Wrigley is only about half full. David DeJesus got it better.

  3. psymar says:

    I maintain Quade was a better hire than not having a manager, if by “not having a manager” you mean “the College of Coaches”.

  4. NotAgain says:

    Once again, Dale pulled a “Dale” (or a “Quade”). Not pinch-running for Navarro meant we lost at chance at the go-ahead run. Well done, Dale.

    1. dabirdguy says:

      Ya gotta remember that this season is all about getting ONE MORE good draft pick!

    2. gidard says:

      Navarro certainly was chugging for all that he was worth.
      It was kinda comical.
      I thought he was going to make it.

      1. gidard says:

        That’s the 1st time my reply ended up in the “reply”.

  5. juliedicaro says:

    I was at work and missed the Navarro play. What happened? I saw someone on Twitter describe it as
    “like watching an elephant slide into a water hole.” LMAO

    1. dabirdguy says:

      He tried to score from second on a single.
      I felt the earth move here in St. Louis.

  6. Doc Blume says:

    I went to the Brewer game tonight.

    Watching that Brewers team…I’m stunned they are actually ahead of the Cubs in the standings. They are, fundamentally, one of the worst teams I’ve seen in baseball in a long time. Ron Roenicke cannot remain that team’s manager. Just horrible. I’m predicting the Brewers are going to be the next Astros…and by that I mean perennially the worst team in baseball…if they don’t do some major house cleaning in their management. That team is horrible.

    Oh…and they are paying a broken down Aramis Ramirez $16 million to be on the DL for them next year.

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