Dumbass! I’ve almost kind of missed you, sorta, but not really! (Photo: Bridget Samuels/flickr)

It’s been a while since we’ve actually talked about Blackhawks hockey stuff on here, so there are some things you might have forgotten about. Let’s get everybody caught up!

• Daniel Carcillo is our dumbass for two more years.
• Ray Emery is here for another year.
• Jamal Mayers re-signed for another year, as well.
• Johnny Oduya re-signed for three years.
• Mike Haviland was fired from the Blackhawks. The Blackhawks hired Jamie Kompon, former assistant coach of the Los Angeles Kings, to replace him.
• The Blackhawks signed two free agents over the offseason, Sheldon Brookbank and Michal Rozsival.
• Sami Lepisto is gone, but other than that, last year’s team is intact. Whether this is a good or bad thing remains to be seen.

And that’s what you forgot — or tried to forget — over this extended offseason!

This was my face at the news, for real. (Photo: Bridget Samuels/flickr)

Sami Lepisto has signed a one-year contract with Lokomotiv Yaroslavl of the KHL — a team you may remember as the team involved in the aircraft tragedy that cost the lives of most of its players, some prospects, and the coaching staff last year. As sad as I am to see Sami go, rebuilding the Lokomotiv team in honor of all its fallen players is an awesome thing to do and I’m really glad to see he’s involved. While skeptics might see this as a bench-warmer fleeing the bench, I really believe that he was a reliable and steady defenseman who deserved more playing time than he got. Sure, he wasn’t stellar and he didn’t stand out on the ice very often — but that wasn’t his role. He did well in his role as the stay-at-home defenseman and the Blackhawks played better with him in the lineup in all of the 26 regular-season games where he saw ice time.

The original  news, which spread like wildfire over Twitter, appeared in an article posted by Finnish channel MTV3 (original in Finnish). The article points out that Lepisto will be joining the Columbus Blue Jackets’ Curtis Sanford during Lokomotiv’s return to the KHL next season. Former NHLers Staffan Kronwall, Viktor Kozlov, and Vitaly Vishnevsky have also signed on with the club.

Sami Lepisto tweeted this lovely picture yesterday:

The aftermath of blocking a slap shot with your leg is after the jump.

» Continue reading “Why Hockey Players Are Tougher Than You”

Who's happy the Blackhawks clinched the playoffs? This guy. (Photo: Bridget Samuels/flickr)

Yes, the Blackhawks went up 4-0 before surrendering four goals to the Predators.

Yes, the Blackhawks’ faceoff stats were horrifying. Jamal Mayers was 3-6 for 50%, and he led everyone who took at least five faceoffs this game. Dave Bolland went 10-22 for 45%, and then everyone else’s stats fell off a cliff. I don’t even know.

Let’s all thank Brent Seabrook for his goal so that this game didn’t have to go into overtime, or I’m sure we’d all be dead.

With that goal and the win over the Preds, the Blackhawks have clinched a playoff berth for the fourth consecutive year. This is the first time in fifteen years that the Blackhawks have made the playoffs four years in a row. And, really, this is all that matters to me right now. Sorry I’m not sorry.

Also, Viktor Stalberg broke the 20-goal mark for the first time in his career — all at even-strength, mind you. He’s come a long way from being Swedish for “Jack Skille.”

After the jump, reaction tweets from the Blackhawks and the greatest goal song ever.

» Continue reading “So Glad We Made It: Blackhawks 5, Predators 4″

Congratulations to Ray Emery on his Masterton Trophy nomination! (Photo: Bridget Samuels/flickr)

The Blackhawks take on the St. Louis Blues at 7:30pm CST. This is the final meeting of these two teams in the regular season, thank goodness.

With any form of a win tonight and a Phoenix Coyotes regulation loss to the San Jose Sharks, the Blackhawks have a chance to clinch a playoff spot. They will have to do so without two vital members, Jonathan Toews, missing his 18th straight game and Duncan Keith, who is out for the third straight game serving his five game suspension.

Corey Crawford will be in goal for the Blackhawks. (@ChrisKuc) Jaroslav Halak will be in net for the Blues. (@NormSanders)

Though Jonathan Toews is once again out tonight, he will soon be cleared for contact. He has skated for 10 straight days, but is out for the weekend. When he will return to game action is still unknown. (Chicago Sun-Times)

Steve Montador returned last game against the New Jersey Devils, but after taking an inadvertent elbow to the head is again out indefinitely. (Chicago Sun-Times) Sami Lepisto skated for the first time since his lower body injury. He hopes to return for the playoffs. (CSN Chicago)

The Blackhawks announced today that Ray Emery is their nominee for the Bill Masterton Trophy. Emery was also nominated last season with the Anaheim Ducks for his return following hip surgery. (Chicago Sun-Times)

Johnny Oduya makes his Blackhawks debut tonight. (Photo: clydeorama/flickr)

The Blackhawks take on the Toronto Maple Leafs at 7pm tonight at the United Center. The game will air on CSN Plus tonight, so go here and find what channel that is for you. (CSN Chicago)

Corey Crawford will be in net for the Blackhawks. (@ChrisKuc) The Maple Leafs are going with Jonas Gustavsson in goal. (@mirtle)

Jonathan Toews (apparent concussion) will be out, along with defensemen Niklas Hjalmarsson and Steve Montador (both upper-body). (NHL.com)

The defense pairings for the Blackhawks tonight are as follows (@TSNScottyMac):

• Duncan Keith – Sean O’Donnell
• Johnny Oduya – Brent Seabrook
• Nick Leddy – Dylan Olsen

Brendan Morrison, Sami Lepisto, and Michael Frolik are all healthy scratches tonight. (@TSNScottyMac)

Lepisto was responsible for the first and last goals of the game. The first was a Jackets goal, though. (Photo: clydeorama/flickr)

Hahahahaha

Six unanswered goals. (Via blackhawks.nhl.com)

Hahahahahaha

» Continue reading “And Now, Some In-Depth Analysis: Blackhawks 6, Blue Jackets 1″

The guy with the GWG. (Photo: David Kindler/flickr)

Well, shoot.

I should’ve begged the Hockey Gods for a win earlier.

I’m so happy, I’m not even going to pick on the power play tonight. I’m just going to sit here and enjoy this win.

It’s been a long time coming.

» Continue reading “It’s Been So Long!: Blackhawks 4, Rangers 2″

Nice to see your back. Heh. Man, that was a bad pun. (Photo: Cheryl Adams/flickr)

I’m sick with the stomach flu. Here are the basics for this game against the San Jose Sharks:

• Dylan Olsen is IN.
• Steve Montador is OUT. And on IR. He’s been sent back to Chicago.
• Sami Lepisto‘s corpse has been reanimated, so he’s IN.
• Niklas Hjalmarsson is OUT and has been sent back to Chicago. What was thought to be the flu has become something else entirely. Still “upper body,” though. Uh-oh.
• Corey Crawford is IN. So is Antti Niemi for the Sharks.
• This game is going to be a hot mess.

Now back to eating saltine crackers and drinking Gatorade.

This game was so bad, I'm posting a picture of the guy who had an eight-point night against the Blackhawks. Sam Gagner, everybody! (Photo: Bridget Samuels/flickr)

Here’s the thing. The Blackhawks were up 2-0 in the beginning of the second period, and then lost 8-4 to a team that has only one good line.

Corey Crawford had a bad night. A really bad night. A Huet-in-Columbus-in-2010 (March 29, 2010, to be exact — don’t ask how I remember the exact date) night, as Tim Sassone suggested. He even let Cam Barker score! I don’t know if the Blackhawks can keep going like this. I mean, I hate a goalie controversy as much as the next fan, but Crawford might need to sit down for a while.

However, besides Crawford’s problems in net, all the issues from the last game? Still there, except worse and more insistent. Niklas Hjalmarsson and Nick Leddy continue to induce ulcers when paired together. John Scott skated for just over nine minutes. Steve Montador skated for just over twelve minutes. That means that, for most of the game, the Blackhawks were really skating only four defensemen. I guess Sami Lepisto really is, like, dead or something.

The power play was, well, as it has been for a while now — fundamentally broken. And I mean that. There are no fundamentals being employed on the power play.

At one point during the game, Bryan Bickell had more penalty minutes than time on the ice. He ended up skating only 6:07 total. Meanwhile, Michael Frolik is sitting with Sean O’Donnell and Lepisto’s corpse in the press box. Okay.

But questioning Quenneville’s decisions? That just makes me a silly blogger, of course!

The Blackhawks are still a good team. But it’s games like these that show the giant holes in the team that need to get fixed before you can drive a Mack truck through them.

The title of this article was suggested by Marko The Muscle, aka @man_in_armor. He wants all of you to know that he is single and likes girls in sports jerseys.