I hate you. Photo via Manningface.com

We are almost there, kids. We have almost made it through two-week long national “Aren’t Eli and Tom the best?” fest. We have had to endure pronouncements that the younger Manning may, perhaps, be better than big brother Peyton. That he is indeed elite. All sorts of proclamations of the Giants’ collective awesomeness.  It’s been unbearable.

As for the national Patriots lovefest, in some ways it’s easier to handle. It’s nothing terribly new. Yes, Tom Brady is good–maddeningly so. Bill Belichick is an evil genius. Well aware of it. But it’s not like I can root for them.

The team that plunged Philadelphia into the depths of despair after defeating us in 2005 in  Super Bowl XXXIX? Oh hell naw. Such a glorious time of happiness and hope in this city the last 2 weeks of January 2005 were, and then…here we sit, seven years later, still without a championship. Sigh.

I despise both the Giants and the Patriots. I don’t want a victor. I want a sinkhole.

UGG. I hate you, too, Brady.

It’s the perfect solution, really. Players and coaching staff for the Patriots and Giants would be the only ones injured. No fans. We all win. Gisele will just have to send another kind of email asking for prayers of a different kind from family and friends.

Some have asked, if I truly feel this tortured by this Super Bowl, why put myself through it?

Because I must. It is football, after all. And it’s the last football for many long, torturous months. I, unlike many football fans, have the Madonna halftime show to look forward to (on top of my many other reasons of bitterness, I am mad at this Super Bowl for ruining what should be the perfect marriage of football and my most favoritest pop star of all time). But after that, depression at the fact that someone must win will set in.

Or, the sinkhole will open up.

So what are some ways to survive the home stretch, you ask? Here are some suggestions:

1. Focus on as many non-football related Super Bowl events as you can. Like the Puppy Bowl. Puppies make everything better.

2. Do the opposite of what you do for most shows. Mute the game, watch the commercials. Even the least likeable teams shouldn’t take away from what the Super Bowl is truly about–buying stuff. We’ve seen the preview of the VW one featuring dogs barking the Star Wars theme. Let’s hope the rest of the commercials will be of the same caliber to alleviate our suffering.

3. Make fun of Eli. This part is a given. Eagles fans are a witty bunch and I can already hear the Eli jokes that are to come. Yes, Peyton has his moments, but no one does Manning Face quite like Eli.

4. Listen to other witty, bitter fans. The hilarious guys at The Voice of the Fan will be doing a live show during the Super Bowl. They hate Eli. They hate the Giants. They hate the Patriots. They hate Chris Collinsworth. So turn down the TV and turn up their sardonic remarks as they try to release the pain through laughter. You can check them out by visiting The Voice of the Fan’s website here. Coverage begins on Sunday at 6 pm.

Call it brotherly love. Our shared bitterness and hatred for both teams WILL get us through this.

Want more Philly Sports Muse? You can find me on Twitter at @sports_muse and on Facebook at www.facebook.com/phillysportmuse.

We all were thinking it at the back of our minds when watching the Giants v. Packers game on Sunday night.

How would the Eagles have performed in this game? Could they have made it to this point if they had made it to the playoffs?

It pains me to say it, it truly does, but it seems that the best team this season truly did win the NFC East and make it to the playoffs.

Though Philadelphia defeated the Giants in Week 11 at the Meadowlands, that was not the same New York team that we have witnessed kick ass and take names the last two weeks in the playoffs.

Sure, the Eagles surged in the last four games of the season. But none of those wins (Miami, Jets, Dallas and Washington) came against any teams that were even close to being the cream of the crop in the NFL. But, the Giants faced an incredibly similar slate of opponents their last four games of the season (Dallas, Washington, Jets, then Dallas again).

Yes, Eli Manning has been playing some of the best football of his career. But few could have predicted what the Giants have done thus far in the playoffs. That said,  they have proven each game, more and more emphatically, that they are in it to win it. They New York Giants want it all. » Continue reading “The Painful Reality Of The Playoffs”

Those Shanahans in Washington are something else. They can’t coach a winning team to save their lives and yet they still somehow: a) have jobs, and b) think they can talk trash from the bottom of the division.

The trash talk happened today when the coach’s son, offensive coordinator Kyle Shanahan, thought it appropriate to pump up his awful team by make disparaging remarks about Juan Castillo.

Per ProFootballTalk and Bleeding Green Nation, Kyle tried to pump up the troops by saying the following:

“Hey, about an hour ago, all right, their [defensive] coordinator [Juan Castillo] told us, told [offensive line coach Chris] Foerster, that [if] the Giants would have lost last week, they were in the playoffs,” Kyle Shanahan said. “He didn’t mention that they had to beat us today. F–k him, f–k these guys. In 2012 the Redskins are gonna be the NFC East champions, and that starts right f–king today.”

F*ck Juan, Kyle? I’d like to hear your remarks to your team postgame, because clearly you and your crap team were the ones who got f**ked.

Oh, and the whole “we’re going to win next year” remark is old. It was said by your exalted quarterback Rex Grossman at the start of this season and hmm, just wanted to check in–how did that work out for you?

You can see video of this massive case of delusion by going here.

Want more Philly Sports Muse? You can find me on Twitter at @sports_muse and on Facebook at www.facebook.com/phillysportmuse.

Let’s be honest. Of the two NFC East matchups that will take place on Sunday, the Redskins (5-10) v. Eagles (7-8) games is not the one that will garner the most attention. The Sunday Night game between the Cowboys and the Giants will determine who wins the NFC East. The Washington v. Philadelphia game represents the teams that didn’t play well enough throughout the season to have a hope at the title.

That said, there are still plenty of reasons to tune in to the Eagles’ final game of the 2011 season. First, the result of the game will determine whether the Eagles will end the year with a losing season or if they will wind up as a .500 team.

Second, two Eagles are chasing records in the final game of the season. Unfortunately, RB LeSean McCoy probably won’t gain on Maurice Jones-Drew to get the rushing title for the season–he would have to get 128 yards, and that would be before MJD even took to the field. Shady has said that he will play against the Redskins, but keep in mind the fact that he is listed as questionable for the game due to an ankle injury. [UPDATE: It was announced at around 11:30 on Sunday that McCoy will be inactive for today's game. Cue sadness.]

DE Jason Babin has 18 sacks on the season, currently tired with DeMarcus Ware. Both Ware and Babin are a 1/2 sack behind league leader Jared Allen of the Vikings. Should Babin get 3 sacks on Sunday, he will tie the Eagles record held by the late, great Reggie White.

Also of note? Sunday may mark the last time that WR DeSean Jackson plays the game as an Eagle.

Philadelphia’s final game of the season will be an understated matter against a team that they should easily beat. But if they don’t, will it really matter?

If you can tear your eyes open from your New Year’s fun, tune in to the end of the season action at 1 pm on Fox.

Want more Philly Sports Muse? You can find me on Twitter at @sports_muse and on Facebook at www.facebook.com/phillysportmuse.

You remember it well. Last Sunday. Jets at Eagles. Eagles blow out of the Jets. It was a wonderful moment in the 2011 season.

The usually formidable Jets were clearly not themselves last week. Sure, they faced an Eagles team who have harnessed their collective talent and are now firing on all cylinders. But the team played like there was little substance to their game plan.

Center Jason Kelce may have figured out what happened.

The photographic evidence?

It’s just as well that this monstrous order obstructed Ryan’s view and planning for last week. But we’ll need him to wipe his mouth, clear his head, and FOCUS on beating the snot out of the Giants this weekend. You hear me, Rex?

As we all know, that receipt isn’t a record of an epic Ryan binge somehow obtained by Jason Kelce, it begs the question: Who the hell eats that much food?

Answer: Most of us in the next coming days.

Happy Friday, Happy Holidays, and Go Eagles!

Want more Philly Sports Muse? You can find me on Twitter at @sports_muse and on Facebook at www.facebook.com/phillysportmuse.

Playoffs?!

The biggest talk of the NFC East is the Cowboys’ loss to the Giants in Sunday Night Football. Dallas had been alone in holding the top spot in the division, and their loss represented a measure of hope for the Eagles for getting into the playoffs. Let’s be very clear about this: It is incredibly unlikely that this will happen. But there’s a chance. There is also a chance that I will be discovered for my true inner pop star diva tomorrow, but that too is highly doubtful.

You should know this: For anything to be possible, the Birds need to win out. And winning against the Jets on Sunday will be a challenging proposition . Also keep in mind that their longest winning “streak” this season has been two games. Four would be a stretch.

The Eagles would need both the Giants and the Cowboys to lose this weekend in order to still be in the hunt. ESPN’s NFC East blog does a terrific job of outlining all of the possibilities for what may happen in the next few weeks, noting the following:

If the Eagles win their next two games, the Cowboys lose to the Bucs next week and the Giants lose to Washington and the Jets, the Eagles would clinch the division with a Week 17 victory over the Redskins regardless of the Giants-Cowboys result. » Continue reading “Eagles Briefs: Keeping Hope Alive; Steve Smith to IR”

Ladies and gents, I present to you...your team's starting quarterback for Sunday! Oh no--stop crying!

Hey you. You an Eagles fan? Then I have some bad news for you. You need to spend the next several hours leading up to the Eagles v. Giants game working on something. I know it’s something you’re not going to want to do.

But you’re going to need to work on rooting for Vince Young.

It was pretty apparent during the week that Mike Vick would not be the starting quarterback for the Eagles on the Sunday Night Football matchup against the Giants when Vick didn’t practice at all during the week after Philadelphia revealed that the QB had two cracked ribs. On Saturday, the team made it official. No Vick on Sunday.

Who was taking snaps with the first team all week? That’s right: Your buddy Vince Young.

I know. I know. The VY who is responsible for every non-Eagles fan throwing the team “Dream Team” in your face this season when talking about the team’s many, many failures. The Vince Young who gets into fights with strip club managers. The Vince Young with an attitude so bad, his former team cut him loose.

Yes. That Vince Young.

Let’s try to be somewhat fair by taking a look at some of his numbers as a starting quarterback in the NFL. We know that in his one opportunity to see playing time during the regular season as an Eagle, he emitted major odor. He was in two plays in the Week 6 game against Dallas. As you may recall, or as you may have tried to forget, Young first got 2 rushing yards, then fumbled the ball on the next play. He also made a brief appearance in last week’s game against the Cardinals and, as it was a running play, caused no damage.

Yay? » Continue reading “Vince Young to Start Against the Giants: What Should We Expect?”

Caffeine will ease the pain of reading about the state of the Eagles.

Newsflash: Bad teams brew a lot of news. There isn’t much to say if you’re lucky enough to root for a good team. They’re good. They’re winning. Yay team.

When your team is bad, you have stories about player meltdowns, tensions in the locker room, questions about the team’s leadership and tenure of the coaching staff…all wonderful to read when it’s not about your team. But when it is? It’s not so great.

But alas, that’s where we are with the Philadelphia Eagles. A crappy team that now provides us with an unending supply of news stories. So let’s get to it.

Take that: Offensive Coordinator Marty Mornhinweg says that ole’ Kevin Kolb exaggerated the help he provided to his current team by calling out the plays from his lazy former team. Does that make you feel better? Yeah–me either. – CSNPhilly

Former Eagles LB Jeremiah Trotter weighs on the inner workings of the Eagles’ front office and locker room. – Eagles Addict

Sayeth Vince Young: “”It’s not about me. It’s about the team. I want to go out there and lead the guys to a victory. I’m definitely happy, definitely happy to be playing. But at the same time, it’s not about me. It’s all about the team.” That sounds like someone who’s going to be starting in a game, doesn’t it? Prepare yourselves… – Philadelphia Eagles

Yes, he’s likely to be  the starter for your team on Sunday and yes, there is concern that Vince Young still doesn’t know the Eagles’ play book. What the heck has he been doing sitting on the sideline all of that time? – Pro Football Zone

Sheil Kapadia breaks down 15 things you should know about the coming Sunday Night Football Eagles – Giants Game – Moving the Chains

The Eagles spate of 4th quarter meltdowns aren’t just infuriating. They aren’t just humiliating. They are historic. Historically bad. – CSNPhilly

Steve Smith, every Eagles fan’s least favorite wide receiver right now, returns to his former stomping ground for the first time since becoming an Eagles. He’s expecting Giants fans to be a lil’ sore about that. “Brutal,” in fact.  – ProFootballTalk

Want more Philly Sports Muse? You can find me on Twitter at @sports_muse and on Facebook at www.facebook.com/phillysportmuse.

Get ready to see lots more of this face on Sunday, Eagles fans

Bad news, Eagles fans. It’s not looking likely that Mike Vick will be able to play in Sunday’s game against the New York Giants. Thursday marked the second day day in a row that he didn’t practice due to two broken ribs.

Jeff McLane of the Inquirier relayed via Twitter that “Vick declined to talk today since he didn’t practice & is still injured. Was moving slowly.”

Not what you would expect to hear if expecting your team’s quarterback to play in three day’s time.

Philly Sports Daily’s Tim McManus reported that ” A few of Young’s teammates, incl DeSean Jackson & Jason Babin, came up to him in locker room to say how good he looked at practice.”

Oh boy.

Add to that fact that Vince Young is saying things like this:

“It’s not about me. It’s about the team. I want to go out there and lead the guys to a victory. I’m definitely happy, definitely happy to be playing. But at the same time, it’s not about me. It’s all about the team.” » Continue reading “Eagles Injury Update: Vick Not Looking Likely for Sunday”

Image by Rob Tornoe of the Community News

Had enough of hearing “We’ve got to do a better job” from Eagles head coach Andy Reid? Well, you’re in luck. He’s moved on to a new phrase, at least for this week. And used it often in today’s meeting with the press. Let’s see if you can spot it.

On whether he thinks Jackson is focused:
“You know what I’m moving forward on to is the Giants. That’s a pretty important game against a good football team.”

On whether he is worried about the possibility of losing the players: “I’m concerned right now about getting ready to play the Giants, and that’s it. All the other stuff you guys can work with. My job is to get our football team ready to play the Giants. That’s what I’m going to do.”

On whether he is worried about losing the players this week against the Giants:
“No.”

[*PSM: Note the brilliance of the reporters in attempting to phrase their question is a format that would elicit an actual answer.]

On whether he is concerned about his job security:
“I’m concerned about getting ready to play the New York Giants.”

On how he would characterize his team’s chances of making the playoffs:
“I’m not even thinking about the playoffs, I’m thinking about playing the New York Giants.”

On whether he feels like the Eagles are going to have to run the table to make the playoffs:
“I’m concerned about playing the New York Giants. That’s it.”

On what you can say to players to get them ready for the Giants and to get them to move past what’s happened:
“Focus in on the Giants, study the game plan, and practice hard, aggressive. Get ready for the New York Giants.”

On what he can do to better prepare the team for the Giants the second time around:
“Well we’re playing the Giants so I’m not going to tell you what we’re going to do different than the last game.

So, I’m guessing that Reid is pretty much focus » Continue reading “Andy Reid Is “Focused on Playing the New York Giants””