It’s two games into the college baseball season and Stanford’s bats have been on absolute fire. Yesterday, there were lots of homers – three of them, including an inside-the-parker from Eric Smith (Stanford’s first since Cord Phelps did it against Texas in 2008). Stanford won 8-3, with Mark Appel going seven innings and giving up a run on two hits.

Here is my dramatic reenactment of this game.

Stanford’s offense:

Vanderbilt’s defense/various baseballs hit by Stanford’s offense/etc.:

File from GIFSoup.com.

I’m a good writer, guys.

As I write this, it’s the bottom of the seventh in game two, and Stanford is again up on Vanderbilt by a lot, this time 9-3. My favorite pitcher, Brett Mooneyham, went six innings and racked up eight strikeouts. Stanford is still firing on all cylinders, and I absolutely love it, especially given that Vanderbilt has a great track record of its own and is ranked 10th nationally. (We’re ranked 2nd nationally, but whatever. Vanderbilt’s a good team and you can’t overestimate your enemies.)

I really, really like the look of this team this year. A full recap of this game – game two – will come later, once it’s actually over, but for now I just wanted to point out that I like what I’m seeing from these guys. They’re hungry, offensively potent, and they know how to pitch. Color me impressed, boys.

Steph still does not have a computer. She is rather miserable over this fact.

As the baseball season comes closer and closer, all sorts of ideas regarding the draft are swirling around the Farm. As soon as Steph has her computer back, she’ll give you her full take on what she thinks could happen to the players on the smartest baseball team in America.

Until then, have a cartoon of the site’s half-namesake, Han Solo, that Steph drew yesterday.

So my co-conspirator Mac and I were on Twitter the other night during the Tostitos Fiesta Bowl. As we were chatting and watching the game, I was reading the second book in the X-Wing Rogue Squadron series. Now, if you’re enough of a nerd (and if you’re a Stanford fan, there’s a good chance you are), you probably realized that the title of this website comes from a very famous Star Wars trope. Basically, we like Star Wars here.

Now, as I was reading my book, certain things happened in the Fiesta Bowl as I read chapters centering on certain characters. I thought it was a weird trend, but I jumped on it because I found it hilarious. So now, without further ado, here are the fruits of that odd trend.

When Stanford Is Winning: Rally Tycho Celchu

This is Tycho. He likes hot chocolate, girls named Winter, and his BFF Wedge. Also, whenever I was reading chapters centered around him, Stanford was winning. I therefore began to credit Tycho, a native of no-longer-existent planet Alderaan, with any and all success Stanford was having. If you’re wondering, I’m quite sleep-deprived as of late.

When Stanford Is Losing: Self-Hating Corran Horn

Corran has a tendency to blame himself for everything, even when things aren’t his fault. He is very good at this self-blaming thing. Therefore, I’m sure he won’t mind taking the blame for Stanford when they’re losing, because every time I read a Corran-focused chapter OSU had success. Too much success for my liking, to be honest.

When All Hope Is Lost: Emo Murderer-Jedi Kyp Durron

Kyp is…well, lemme just link you to his Wookieepedia page. Basically, Kyp goes back and forth between murdering millions of people and becoming a Jedi under Luke Skywalker. He’s an odd one, which is why Mac nominated him for the post of ‘Stanford is losing and it’s really miserable.’  Originally, we were going to use Corran for football and Kyp for baseball, but Kyp can probably stand for pretty much any loss that makes no sense whatsoever because he makes no sense whatsoever.

This is probably the nerdiest sports post you will ever read in your life. Deal with it.

It’s not a Monday night, but Jord pitched so darn well tonight that I’m posting that cartoon anyway.

Jord only faced two batters over the minimum. Sing in your cars, people. Go on, do it. Crank that Katy Perry and get with it.

I have to say, though, the story of this game was a ball that was clearly trapped by Tyler Gaffney. Like, it was obvious and everything. The umpire missed the call, and because of that, Jord got out of the inning and we ended up winning the whole thing 1-0. Stephen Piscotty hit a home run, and that was the difference in this game. Now we’re one win away from the Super Regionals. Whee!

The umpiring in this game was so inconsistent and awful that both sides really didn’t get a fair chance here. The home plate umpire’s strike zone was all over the place. That trap by Gaffney was extremely obvious, and the third base umpire never ran down the baseline to check it out.

We have a huge rivalry as of late with Fullerton, but I’m totally disgusted with this game. It would’ve been so much different if the umpiring was better.

I’ll let Umpire Ackbar correct the umpiring crew here.

Here is a gratuitous screencap of Wedge Antilles because I have the biggest crush on him. Completely seriously.

We defeated San Jose State last night 3-1. It was a nice rebound start for Dean McArdle, who is no longer a weekend starter. This is pretty cool. On the flip side, our record stands at 22-16 right now, and we’re 6-9 in Pac-10 play, which basically means we’ve only got three teams with worse standings in the conference. This isn’t so cool.

However, today is an international holiday. The name of this website comes from a Star Wars quote, so it’s only natural that we celebrate here today. (Nine is our coach, Mark Marquess, which isn’t from the films, although we think he’d be a really badass character.) As for that ‘shot first’ part…well, here.

Get it? If you still think Greedo shot first, you’re a moron. Because he totally didn’t. So there.

Now, as this is a holiday, let’s make sure to remember to actually rejoice, because most holidays are set aside for reflection, rejoicing, or both. This is a rejoicing holiday because it celebrates nerdy people and we like them because they keep the world turning.

So here is the unremastered ending to Return of the Jedi, featuring the Yubnub song.

And if you haven’t seen this yet, you need to – it’s the Yubnub song performed by a barbershop quartet.

May the 4th be with you, everybody!