Another Rap About Chad Kelly

Oh, Chad Kelly. Clemson’s freshman QB has yet to actually play a down of college football, but that won’t stop his swag. You may remember this rap from a few months ago, which was equal parts stupid and horrifying. If you were jonesing for a new tune about the swagalicious QB (and who wasn’t, really?), you’re in luck.

I’ll give you a moment to collect yourself after watching and hearing that.

I can’t fathom why people feel it’s necessary to rap about this kid who has yet to prove anything, but okay. Some of the best (worst) lines:

  • “This for everybody that hated on my brother Chad Kelly.”

Uh huh. Well. You can have it back, because this was a terrible gift.

Chad Kelly, QB

  • “Clemson football they be shuttin’ it down.”

Yes, of course, because that whole “Shock The World Tour” thing worked so well last season. 70-33, y’all.

  • “Chad Kelly, QB reppin’ for his team, you can hate him, you can doubt him, you ain’t stoppin’ the dream.”

I don’t know about the Swag King’s dream, but my dream is that we never hear another song about him.

  • “My momma birthed out a winner, I’m just lookin’ for dinner, I think I’ll eat some haters.”

Uh, gross.

  • “I’m destined for greatness, my uncle’s amazin’. Jim Kelly on them haters.”

Yes, because having a former NFL player be your uncle automatically means you’ll be good. As for the bit about the haters, what Jim Kelly should really be concerned about is his nephew, who appears to be a cocky tool.

  • “I pull bad broads, got different cars, you livin’ life while I’m livin’ large.”

Glad you’re focused on football, bro.

  • “Clemson. Football. Clemson. Football. Kelly. Kelly. Kelly. Kelly. Kelly. Kelly. Chad Kelly. Kelly. Kelly. Kelly. Chad Kelly.”

How articulate. Glad you remember the subject of this masterpiece.

All the autotune is a nice touch. As for the images in this gem,  my favorite is the Clemson money clip with wads of $100 bills stuffed in it. The Tigers have had other recruits and players flash wads of cash in photos, and it looks a little suspicious. I’m not saying, I’m just saying.

In short, dear YouTube rappers, please do us a favor and zip it, at least until Chad Kelly QB has actually proved something (other than that he’s obnoxious).

Share

Chad Kelly: Future QB AND Rap Sensation?

Ahhh, Clemson, this is why you can’t have nice things.

Chad Kelly, the nephew of former NFL star Jim Kelly, is going to be a quarterback for the Tigers. That’s not all, though. Kelly is also the subject of a rap.

This “rap” about Kelly has been posted on SoundCloud, and basically involves the artists saying his name a lot and attempting to rhyme. The beginning of the song goes like this:

“Chad Kelly, number 12. Swag. Under Armour All-American. Swag. Player of the Year, All-State. Swag.” You get the drift (swag).

Um. I just…can’t There are so many questions begging to be answered. Why did you make this in the first place? Why did you put it on the internet? Do you truly believe you have rapping skills? Are you aware that you claim he possesses a lot of swag? Do you have a lot of difficulty remembering the guy’s name?

There are also excerpts from real stories about Chad which highlight his accomplishments. I mean, if you’re that much of a superstar, couldn’t you just let your play speak for you? Evidently there is just too much swag in Kelly’s veins to keep quiet.

Also, if you check Kelly’s twitter feed, you’ll see that he doesn’t appear to be acquainted with proper grammar (swag?). Speaking of twitter, Chad seems to be following in the footsteps of some of his future teammates, as he’s tweeted some questionable things as of late.

Because he’s got swag, Kelly tweeted the following:

» Continue reading “Chad Kelly: Future QB AND Rap Sensation?”

Share