Prepare the drums of war!
Okay, great! Everyone is ready except Meeko.
Eagles vs. Buccaneers. I would love to see an eagle battle a buccaneer. I don’t normally picture eagles as vicious creatures, but can you imagine how excited they would get seeing the feast of rats aboard a pirate ship? Battle cries of AHOY*CAW*ARGH*CAW would fill the stormy skies of the sea. Unless the Bucs have mad knife throwing skills, this one goes to the Eagles.
Redskins and Cowboys. This one is mandatory, especially since it will not exist if/when the Redskins change their name. The Redskins probably do have mad knife throwing skills, so I’m going to give this one to them.
Jets vs. Steelers. At first I thought this was going to be the worst battle of the week. It just sounded like a recipe for rust. And then I started Googling things and realized that this might be the best battle of week 6. Unless the Steelers are using oil-based flames though, the Jets win this one.
So what is the worst battle of the week? Cardinals vs. 49ers. All I can picture is a lot of adorable singing in the woods. So everyone wins.
Emily Ritter is a contributing writer to Aerys Offsides. Now she has the Pocahontas soundtrack stuck in her head! You too? Tweet her: @ebritter2.