Browns vs. Bengals. Finally, a Browns match-up I can get behind! We’ll keep it simple in an age-old battle: cat vs. dog. While the [bull]dogs have an advantage in size and general ferociousness, the cats have the advantage in trickery and IDGAF-ness.
Vikings vs. Seahawks. By Week 11, you know how I adore a good battle on the high seas. And any battle involving the vikings because I get to mention their hats. Which will come in handy in this battle as the seahawks’ greatest weapon is the bullets of bird poo they will rain upon their rivals. While gross, not the best weapon against a viking horde.
Even though (spoiler alert!) the lesson of this movie is that we should all be best friends with dragons, the winner here is the Vikings.
Giants vs. Packers. I’m picturing the giants trying to squish the packers, but the packers using their meat cleavers to give the giants paper-cuts on their huge feet.
Have you ever had a paper-cut? Winner: Packers.
Worst mascot battle of the week: Ravens vs. Bears. Can’t we all be magical friends instead?
Emily Ritter is a contributing writer for Aerys Offsides. Anyone want to talk about what a good movie Brother Bear is? Find her on Twitter: @ebritter2.