ESPN will be airing seven KHL games this season, starting today at noon with a tilt between Lev Praha and Dynamo Moscow on ESPN2. I’ll be live blogging the game — which will be interesting, since I know next to nothing about the KHL.
Hockey is hockey, though, right?
Newest entries are at the top. All times listed are in Central Time.
2:09 PM: However, it just wasn’t enough. Dynamo wins over Lev 1-0.
2:08 PM: Lev has pulled their goaltender in the last minute to try to tie the game.
2:05 PM: Finally, something I can agree with Levy and Melrose on — the referees have been good this game.
2:02 PM: 16,304 fans are at this game, breaking a KHL record. Did I hear that on ESPN? No. I got that from Twitter! Good looking out, guys.
2:01 PM: Power play is over. Still 1-0 Dynamo.
1:59 PM: Juraj Mikúš is in the box for Lev, putting Dynamo on the power play.
1:57 PM: …No. No, they won’t. Still 1-0 Dynamo.
1:54 PM: Ilya Gorokhov is in the box, putting Lev on another power play. Will they score on this one?
1:52 PM: More casual stereotyping from Levy and Melrose. I’d be more upset if one of these two bozos wasn’t the one who benched Steven Stamkos.
1:48 PM: Dynamo kills off the penalty, and the score is still 1-0 Dynamo.
1:46 PM: Levy and Melrose are yapping about the lockout even though the only reason ESPN is covering the KHL is because the NHL is locked out… wait, are they playing “Kiss Me” by Sixpence None The Richer at the arena? What?
1:45 PM: Konstantin Kasianchuk gets called for hooking, giving Lev another chance on the power play.
1:39 PM: Pöpperle is out of his net and spectacularly misplays the puck. Ovechkin scores the first goal of the game with a backhander into a wide open net. 1-0 Dynamo.
1:37 PM: The third period is about to start. Will the first goal of the game be scored this period?
1:23 PM: The second period is in the books. Lev and Dynamo are still scoreless. Time to mute the TV while ESPN talks about everything but hockey for the next 15 minutes.
1:21 PM: You might be wondering why I’m spelling names differently than ESPN. It’s because I’m copying and pasting names from Wikipedia.
1:20 PM: Penalty is over.
1:18 PM: The net comes off its moorings again. Time for the one guy with the drill!
1:16 PM: Penalty coming up for Dynamo. Denis Mosalev goes off for tripping. Lev goes on its first power play.
1:13 PM: Sersen comes out of the box and carries the puck to the net, but Yeremenko makes the save to keep it scoreless.
1:12 PM: Ovechkin with the quick wrister, but Pöpperle makes the save.
1:10 PM: Michal Sersen hits Yuri Babenko between the numbers, putting Dynamo on its third power play.
1:08 PM: You know who I want announcing these games? Steve Dangle. His KHL recaps are A+.
1:06 PM: Yeremenko makes another great stop.
1:04 PM: Jakub Klepiš almost sneaks in a goal, but Alexander Yeremenko makes the stop.
1:01 PM: They’re talking about jerseys now. Nothing compares to the Blackhawks jersey, apparently. While I agree, this has nothing to do with the game.
1:00 PM: Levy and Melrose mentioning “Hossa” almost as much as they do Ovechkin. They do know it’s Marcel Hossa, right?
12:56 PM: Dynamo with some great chances on the power play, but Tomáš Pöpperle shuts the door to keep the game scoreless.
12:55 PM: Dynamo goes on the power play, despite what the score bar says. Lev gets a delay of game penalty.
12:54 PM: I would much rather enjoy this game with, like, subtitled Russian announcers.
12:51 PM: That was probably the longest that someone on ESPN talked about Lokomotiv since the tragedy.
12:50 PM: Yes, let’s talk about Ovechkin again, because we haven’t mentioned him enough. Did you know that he wanted to wear 32 in Washington? But he can’t! Because it’s retired!
12:49 PM: Oh, we’re going back to hockey! How novel! Second period is about to begin.
12:48 PM: Is it too early to start drinking?
12:44 PM: Things I don’t care about during an intermission: the Yankees-Orioles series, the Brooklyn Nets, ESPN’s New York bias.
12:38 PM: So we’re not going to talk about this game at all during the intermission, huh? Cool.
12:34 PM: The first period has ended. Lev and Dynamo are both scoreless.
12:32 PM: You know who are better announcers than Levy and Melrose? Errey and Steigerwald in Pittsburgh. This is not a compliment.
12:30 PM: This is some thought-provoking, eye-opening commenta– zzzzz…
12:27 PM: I don’t know how I feel about Melrose talking about the KHL after admitting he knew nothing about it (and calling Russia “the Soviet Union” — uh). Did the fact checker finally pass him a cheat sheet?
12:22 PM: Another commercial! Cool.
12:18 PM: Steve Levy and Barry Melrose are already at Pat and Edzo “talk about everything but the game during the third period” levels, and it’s only halfway through the first period. This isn’t convincing me that the NHL would be better served by being on ESPN, guys.
12:15 PM: Oh, so when Ovechkin is off the ice during the power play, ESPN goes to commercial. I SEE.
12:12 PM: Dynamo will go on the first power play of the game.
12:10 PM: ESPN guy admits he knows nothing about the Lev Praha coach. Me neither! The difference is that they have paid fact-checkers, while I have Wikipedia.
12:08 PM: The ice crew (one dude with a drill) comes out to fix the posts.
12:03 PM: Zdeno Chara gets a mention, too, for his height. Why do we not have a drinking game for this?
12:02 PM: We get our first mention of Alexander Ovechkin, who’s wearing 32 for Dynamo. If it was later than noon Chicago time, I’d tell you to take a shot right now.
12:00 PM: And we get dropped right into the national anthem. Cool warning, ESPN 2.