Mothers have very difficult jobs which are thankless 364 days a year. Today is the one day we set aside, in an attempt to make up for the other 364 when we are too busy being self-engrossed, to show our mothers exactly how much they mean to us.

This means presents. Beautiful, wonderful, expensive presents.

Until now. This year, if you are short on presents, merely print out this lovely bouquet and present it to your mother.

And if you are a mother, consider this my gift to you.

Happy Mother’s Day…enjoy the view!

Happy Mother's Day!

The wedding of the century will be held at Westminster Abbey on April 29, 2011. An invitation to the nuptials of Prince William and Kate Middleton is better than gold these days; everyone wants one, yet no one seems to have one.

No one, that is, except three of our very own Colorado Avalanche players.

Ok, that’s a lie. I’m fairly sure the appearance of even one hockey player at the Royal Wedding would cause several heart attacks, a few strokes, and some sort of international incident requiring a show of military force.

It’s Britain’s loss, however.  Just look at the vision they are missing out on: three of the Avs’ resident pretty boys sporting their finest in honor of the future King and Queen. Worthy guests at any wedding, I’d say.

Though maybe not one where the Queen of England, who is reportedly offended by the word “toilet,” is a guest of honor.

Philippe Dupuis, David Jones, and John Michael Liles put their fancy foot forward in celebration of the Royal Wedding.

A lot has happened today, so this is going to be a short and sweet game preview. The Colorado Avalanche are in Dallas tonight to take on the Stars.

It is the Stars’ last home game of the 2010-11 season, and since they have missed the playoffs they will be working extra hard to prove their dominance to their fans. The Colorado Avalanche (light version) will be trying to continue their winning streak against the Stars.

Could be an interesting game.

Series Record: Avalanche 2, Stars 0.

As always, statistics can be twisted. The 2 – 0 stat looks really good, but the Avs haven’t seen the Stars since November. As everyone knows, the Avalanche were a very different team back then. The word drastic doesn’t even cover it. If you look at the roster of players from the most recent (November 20, 2010) game, only 10 of those players are still with the club and likely to play tonight.

Wow.

In those two games, for what it’s worth, the Avalanche outscored the Stars 9 – 3.

I would say who scored for each team, but, come on. It happened almost 5 months ago. I’m pretty sure it doesn’t matter any more.

Keep an eye on the new kids Ray Macias and Shawn Belle (if they play). And…well, that’s pretty much it.

Neither team, as previously mentioned, will be going to the playoffs. The Dallas Stars aren’t quite as pathetically placed in the standings as the Avalanche (Dallas is 10th in the West with 91 points), but missing the postseason is missing the postseason. The Stars also don’t have a plethora of players who are really surprisingly good right now…if they did, maybe they’d be going to the playoffs.

When Matt Hunwick and David Jones got hurt the Avalanche called up Ray Macias and Shawn Belle from Lake Erie. It looks like they will get their chance to play in Dallas, since it seems unlikely that any of the 18,000 injured Avs (ok slight exaggeration) will be able to play. So keep an eye on them, it’s yet another chance to glimpse our future.

For your viewing/listening pleasure:

The puck drops in Dallas at 6:30 pm MDT. The game will be broadcast on Altitude in HD, and in Denver you can hear it on AM 950 or anywhere in the word through the Altitude Radio NHL Game Radio broadcast.

If you want a “real” game preview, check out Deep in the Heart of Texas, the Aerys Sports home of the Dallas Stars.

By way of a summary, I have only one comment about tonight’s game in Dallas:

Please don’t hurt us anymore.

David Jones is hurt. Again. (Photo by @JessicaAvsFan.)

The 2010-11 Colorado Avalanche are certainly no strangers to pain. Not a single player on the team has appeared in every game due to injuries. Starting back in the preseason with the loss of Peter Mueller and continuing all the way through the loss of Paul Stastny and John Michael Liles last weekend, this team has been beat up like they stole something.

If the guilty party would raise his hand and return whatever it is they stole, that would be terrific. This team needs no more bad karma.

The latest players to hurt themselves (to see if they still feel, perhaps?) are David Jones and Matt Hunwick, according to Adrian Dater of the Denver Post. Apparently sometime during the very physical game in St. Louis Tuesday night Jones hurt his leg and Hunwick suffered a head injury.

Le Sigh.

Shawn Belle and Ray Macias have been recalled from the playoff-bound (for the first time ever!) Lake Erie Monsters to fill in, as it is likely neither Hunwick or Jones will play Thursday night against the Dallas Stars.

This season has long since left the realm of disappointing bad luck and entered into that of humorless parody. At the rate they are going the Colorado Avalanche will lose both games to Dallas and have 5 or 6 more starters injured. Maybe Sacco should just fly the entire Lake Erie team to Denver prior to Sunday’s home closer just to be sure the club can dress a full roster for the game.

When the Colorado Avalanche show up in St. Louis to take on the Blues, it will mean absolutely nothing. Both teams have already been eliminated from playoff contention. Every man on the ice is now solely playing to save face. And possibly their jobs.

Series Record: Avalanche 3, Blues 0.

That’s right, sports fans: the Avalanche are actually winning a series this season. And not just winning, but winning handily. Dominating, even. It’s a nice feeling.

Over the three games the Avs have outscored the Blues 14 – 9. In case you forgot, “outscored” means that the Avalanche have scored more goals than the Blues. Weird, I know. » Continue reading “No One Cares, But The Avs May Just Beat The Blues”

Thursday night the Colorado Avalanche welcome the Nashville Predators to the Pepsi Center for the last time this season.

I’m sure Avalanche fans will all join me in issuing a simultaneous “it’s about time.”

Nashville has roundly dominated Colorado so far this season. As they currently hold a playoff spot by a mere two points, you can bet they will come to the Pepsi Center determined to score on the Avs as often as Finch hoped to score with Stifler’s mom. (Any guesses as to which movie I watched last night? Anyone?) » Continue reading “Smashville Looks To Complete Season Domination of Colorado”

In spite of an early look of dominance, the Colorado Avalanche ultimately fell to the Anaheim Ducks and the greatness of Teemu Selanne 5 – 4.

First Period:

At 3:34, the unthinkable happened. Milan Hejduk sent a beauty of a pass to Ryan O’Reilly on an Avalanche power play and O’Reilly put it in the back of the Ducks’ net. The Avs opened the game with a 1 – 0 lead.

Not even two minutes later Hejduk made another brilliant pass, but this time Matt Duchene was the recipient. He made an absolutely gorgeous move to get around Ryan Getzlaf and made the score 2 -0. The Avalanche managed to keep the Ducks scoreless through the first.

Let me say that again: the Avs led 2 – 0 at the end of the first period.

» Continue reading “Selanne Leads Ducks’ Domination Of Avs”

Or, even better, a distraction in a fire in a barrel. The Colorado Avalanche conclude their short-lived SoCal road trip in Anaheim Monday night against the Ducks.

The Ducks currently hold 7th in the west by one measly point over Chicago, and Calgary and Dallas are 2 and 3 points away respectively. This logjam means Anaheim really, really needs the two points from a win. Luckily they are playing the Avs, who gave two points to Toronto and the Kings in the past week.

Well, Toronto had to earn them. The Kings sacrificed Anze Kopitar for them. At least the points didn’t come cheap. » Continue reading “Avs May Need A Distraction To Beat Ducks In Anaheim”

Saturday afternoon the L.A. Kings will look to complete their 2010-11 domination of the Colorado Avalanche at the Staples Center.

In the interest of full disclosure, I really like the Kings. I will also readily admit that I have been heavily influenced by friends of mine, who drew my attention to Jack Johnson and Drew Doughty. Maybe they were smart enough to take advantage of my weakness for USA boys and defensemen…then again the friends are hockey players themselves, so maybe it was an accident.

I kid, I kid.

Regardless, I am excited to see this game. The Avalanche have been looking a little more lively lately, winning two of their last three and giving the Maple Leafs a decent run for the game. The Kings are 5th in the West with 90 points, but need to solidly put Colorado in their place to put some distance between them and the teams nipping at their heels. It could be a fun game. » Continue reading “An Ode To Two Teams I Love As Kings Welcome Avs”

Thursday night the Colorado Avalanche will face the Toronto Maple Leafs on the ice at the Pepsi Center. This game preview is going to be a little bit different for a few reasons. First, these two teams only see each other once a year, so there is precious little past to summarize. Second, the Leafs only come to Denver every other year, so this game provides a rare opportunity to see the dynasty team. Third, I’m bored and want to try something new. Fourth and most importantly, I’m on Spring Break and was able to attend both the Avalanche and Maple Leaf team practices on Wednesday and have pictures and videos to share.

So, let’s get to it, shall we? First, the necessities.

Keep an eye on goalie James Reimer, forward Phil Kessel, Tyler Bozak, and defenseman Luke Schenn.

Yes, I’m aware that the list above is entirely composed of Toronto players. I see it like this: as much as I love the Avalanche, I’m thrilled to death to get to watch Toronto. It’s always fun to see an eastern team; the different style, new faces, new names. Especially during a year when the Avs often lack inspiration, the opportunity to see the Leafs play is exciting. Almost as exciting as watching the Bruins a few months back.

So, I could tell you to watch Duchene try to keep his streak alive, or Hejduk weave the kind of magic he always does when on the ice. I could say to watch for Dupuis since he’s no longer sick and hopefully will get to play. But realistically, I’m going to be watching the Leafs unless the Avs light the lamp so often I can’t help but watch them. » Continue reading “But…They’re So BIG…Maple Leafs Visit Avalanche”