I’m not even going to lie to you. News concerning the Colorado Avalanche is slow.

I could tell you all about Matt Duchene going home to Haliburton, Ontario for the summer. That’s totally happening. He’s now neck deep in friends, family, and fish for the next few months.

I could tell you that Daniel Winnik is busy playing golf and going to baseball games up in Toronto for the summer. He also proved that hockey players are not immune to the lost luggage crisis while singlehandedly spurring Toronto tourism and the purchase of disposable cameras. I know lots of people who would like a shot of him wandering around in his skivvies.

I could tell you that Avs’ prospect Joey Hishon and the Owen Sound Attack are now out of Memorial Cup contention, and that Hishon was hit on May 22 and sustained a minor injury that kept him out of the final game. It’s a little sad and depressing, but it happened.

I could tell you that Ryan O’Byrne’s commentating career is still flourishing, and that according to his Twitter feed he has appearances on the NHL network today and tomorrow at 6 pm ET.

I could tell you that John Michael Liles has been blowing up Twitter posting pics of his golfing outings with hockey brethren, supporting “his boy” Ryan O’Byrne, and watching Rockies games from the sweet seats. (Aside: if you aren’t following @hoosierjm26, you are missing out. He uses it like all borderline classy athletes should, while proving himself intelligent and slightly crazy. Great combo.)

All of the above is obviously true according to the ever-reputable Twitter. But guess what? That all pales in comparison to the image below, which sprang into existence after a Twitter conversation between myself, @crazygirlemy, and @Elwood_Blues42.

We were discussing the trainwreckiness of Matt Hunwick on the PP and the PK, leading to the conclusion that he was just bad on the ice, which led to the Disney on Ice comparison, which led to…

Hunwick on ice. You're welcome.

So, ladies and gentlemen, if you take anything away from this post, let it be this:

Twitter is so full of AWESOME that it occasionally explodes all over the place. If you haven’t already, you should totally get on board.

Mothers have very difficult jobs which are thankless 364 days a year. Today is the one day we set aside, in an attempt to make up for the other 364 when we are too busy being self-engrossed, to show our mothers exactly how much they mean to us.

This means presents. Beautiful, wonderful, expensive presents.

Until now. This year, if you are short on presents, merely print out this lovely bouquet and present it to your mother.

And if you are a mother, consider this my gift to you.

Happy Mother’s Day…enjoy the view!

Happy Mother's Day!

On November 29, 2010, the Colorado Avalanche fanbase reverberated with the news that scrappy Colby Cohen was being traded to the Boston Bruins organization in return for defenseman Matt Hunwick.

Hunwick spent several years in the US National Team Development Program and played college puck at Michigan before being drafted by the Bruins. Avs fans were understandably optimistic that perhaps Hunwick would solve some of the defensive issues obvious with the team.

Then we all watched him play. Yes, he’s fast. Really fast. Occasionally he even plays defense. But, let’s face it, he spends a lot of his time on the ice turning over the puck and looking a little bit lost. For these very reasons the twitter hashtag #BlameHunwick very quickly caught on with Avalanche fans.

Matt has not been deaf to the outrage the fans expressed. In fact, he has dedicated his offseason to correcting some of the things that were clearly off with his game this year. To this end, he picked up a very popular book.

He should totally be better next year. We are saved.

Defenseman Matt Hunwick has dedicated himself to improving his game this offseason. (Photo courtesy of Emily Robson.)

The Colorado Avalanche lost in Dallas Thursday night 4 – 2. Raise your hand if you’re surprised. No, really. Don’t be shy….oh, no one? Alrighty then.

The Good:

• Brian Elliott made a few decent saves.
• Matt Duchene really does have some sick moves.
• Philippe Dupuis got some love from the Altitude broadcast boys before the game, then earned it with his hard work throughout the game (he even got an assist!). Too bad his mini-breakaway was foiled by a skilled poke check.
• Tiny, pocket-sized Olver scored a tiny, pocket-sized goal.
• Not one single person on the ice missed Hunwick. Well, maybe the guys in Stars’ sweaters.
  In the second period the Avs managed to score while holding Dallas scoreless. They won at least that part of the game!

That’s pretty much it. Oh, nope, I forgot…

BRANDON YIP SCORED!!!

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, #18 still plays for the Avalanche. Tonight he remembered that fact, and decided to do something about it. Yay! (I knew there was a place he walked…)

Sorry, shameless The Who shout out. I’m better now.

The Bad:

• The Avs didn’t play well enough to spoil Dallas’ playoff hopes.
• Lake Erie Monsters call-up Shawn Belle made some pretty glaring mistakes, but I’m still wary of being too critical given his position on the depth chart.
• The Dallas Stars outshot the Colorado Avalanche Light 37 – 23.
• Ryan O’Byrne collected TWO delay of game penalties when he dumped the puck over the glass. Both came at very inopportune times, and one led to a Stars PPG. Dude should quit the gym.
• The Avs lost, which is never fun.

These two teams will see each other again Friday night in the second of a back-to-back, home-and-home series. Maybe home ice will be kind to the Avs and the game will have a slightly better outcome.

Yeah, I know it’s a longshot. But I’m an Avalanche fan; I’m nothing if not optimistic.

A lot has happened today, so this is going to be a short and sweet game preview. The Colorado Avalanche are in Dallas tonight to take on the Stars.

It is the Stars’ last home game of the 2010-11 season, and since they have missed the playoffs they will be working extra hard to prove their dominance to their fans. The Colorado Avalanche (light version) will be trying to continue their winning streak against the Stars.

Could be an interesting game.

Series Record: Avalanche 2, Stars 0.

As always, statistics can be twisted. The 2 – 0 stat looks really good, but the Avs haven’t seen the Stars since November. As everyone knows, the Avalanche were a very different team back then. The word drastic doesn’t even cover it. If you look at the roster of players from the most recent (November 20, 2010) game, only 10 of those players are still with the club and likely to play tonight.

Wow.

In those two games, for what it’s worth, the Avalanche outscored the Stars 9 – 3.

I would say who scored for each team, but, come on. It happened almost 5 months ago. I’m pretty sure it doesn’t matter any more.

Keep an eye on the new kids Ray Macias and Shawn Belle (if they play). And…well, that’s pretty much it.

Neither team, as previously mentioned, will be going to the playoffs. The Dallas Stars aren’t quite as pathetically placed in the standings as the Avalanche (Dallas is 10th in the West with 91 points), but missing the postseason is missing the postseason. The Stars also don’t have a plethora of players who are really surprisingly good right now…if they did, maybe they’d be going to the playoffs.

When Matt Hunwick and David Jones got hurt the Avalanche called up Ray Macias and Shawn Belle from Lake Erie. It looks like they will get their chance to play in Dallas, since it seems unlikely that any of the 18,000 injured Avs (ok slight exaggeration) will be able to play. So keep an eye on them, it’s yet another chance to glimpse our future.

For your viewing/listening pleasure:

The puck drops in Dallas at 6:30 pm MDT. The game will be broadcast on Altitude in HD, and in Denver you can hear it on AM 950 or anywhere in the word through the Altitude Radio NHL Game Radio broadcast.

If you want a “real” game preview, check out Deep in the Heart of Texas, the Aerys Sports home of the Dallas Stars.

By way of a summary, I have only one comment about tonight’s game in Dallas:

Please don’t hurt us anymore.

David Jones is hurt. Again. (Photo by @JessicaAvsFan.)

The 2010-11 Colorado Avalanche are certainly no strangers to pain. Not a single player on the team has appeared in every game due to injuries. Starting back in the preseason with the loss of Peter Mueller and continuing all the way through the loss of Paul Stastny and John Michael Liles last weekend, this team has been beat up like they stole something.

If the guilty party would raise his hand and return whatever it is they stole, that would be terrific. This team needs no more bad karma.

The latest players to hurt themselves (to see if they still feel, perhaps?) are David Jones and Matt Hunwick, according to Adrian Dater of the Denver Post. Apparently sometime during the very physical game in St. Louis Tuesday night Jones hurt his leg and Hunwick suffered a head injury.

Le Sigh.

Shawn Belle and Ray Macias have been recalled from the playoff-bound (for the first time ever!) Lake Erie Monsters to fill in, as it is likely neither Hunwick or Jones will play Thursday night against the Dallas Stars.

This season has long since left the realm of disappointing bad luck and entered into that of humorless parody. At the rate they are going the Colorado Avalanche will lose both games to Dallas and have 5 or 6 more starters injured. Maybe Sacco should just fly the entire Lake Erie team to Denver prior to Sunday’s home closer just to be sure the club can dress a full roster for the game.

Thursday night the Colorado Avalanche welcome the Nashville Predators to the Pepsi Center for the last time this season.

I’m sure Avalanche fans will all join me in issuing a simultaneous “it’s about time.”

Nashville has roundly dominated Colorado so far this season. As they currently hold a playoff spot by a mere two points, you can bet they will come to the Pepsi Center determined to score on the Avs as often as Finch hoped to score with Stifler’s mom. (Any guesses as to which movie I watched last night? Anyone?) » Continue reading “Smashville Looks To Complete Season Domination of Colorado”

Saturday afternoon the L.A. Kings will look to complete their 2010-11 domination of the Colorado Avalanche at the Staples Center.

In the interest of full disclosure, I really like the Kings. I will also readily admit that I have been heavily influenced by friends of mine, who drew my attention to Jack Johnson and Drew Doughty. Maybe they were smart enough to take advantage of my weakness for USA boys and defensemen…then again the friends are hockey players themselves, so maybe it was an accident.

I kid, I kid.

Regardless, I am excited to see this game. The Avalanche have been looking a little more lively lately, winning two of their last three and giving the Maple Leafs a decent run for the game. The Kings are 5th in the West with 90 points, but need to solidly put Colorado in their place to put some distance between them and the teams nipping at their heels. It could be a fun game. » Continue reading “An Ode To Two Teams I Love As Kings Welcome Avs”

Cameron Gaunce in a last-minute call up defended teammate Mark Olver against Mike Komisarek in Thursday night's game. (Photo by JessicaAvsFan.)

After winning their previous two games in a shootout, the Colorado Avalanche lost in regulation to the visiting Toronto Maple Leafs 4 – 3. But the story of the game was the first period hit by Mike Komisarek on teeny tiny Mark Olver, and call up Cameron Gaunce taking on the slightly grumpy Komisarek immediately afterward. The secondary story was the Avs playing better than I anticipated.

First Period:

There has been much hand-wringing in Colorado this season because the generally terrible defense allows so many short handed goals (11, according to hockey-reference.com). Well finally during a Cody McLeod roughing penalty Daniel Winnik added a SHG tally to the Avalanche “for” column. He had help from EJ and McClement, and for a brief shining 4.5 minutes the Avs led the Maple Leafs 1 – 0.

About three minutes after the goal Jonas Holos made a pass up ice to Mark Olver in spite of Mike Komisarek being lined up on Olver about 8 steps away. Olver turned and ducked a bit to get the pass and Komisarek lined him up. Olver literally bounced off Komisarek like a rag doll and crawled off the ice but didn’t make it to the bench. Cameron Gaunce, who was just called up from Lake Erie, stood up for his teammate and took on Komisarek. For more on my opinions on the matter, skip ahead to the analysis section. » Continue reading “Wow What A Hit…Oh There Was A Game, Too”

Milan Hejduk gets the shootout winner for the Avs in his 900th game. (Photo by @JessicaAvsFan.)

Two wins in a row. Two. That makes a streak, correct? So the Colorado Avalanche are on a two game winning streak after Milan Hejduk’s shootout goal and Brian Elliott’s superb late play led them to a 5 – 4 victory over the visiting Columbus Blue Jackets.

There are many adjectives to describe this. I’ll go with the one the Pepsi Center audio team played following Mark Olver Matt Duchene’s goal: “Sweet.”

First Period:

Honestly, the Avs weren’t particularly impressive at the beginning of the first. There wasn’t a lot of pep in their step and they looked a little…wait for it…lethargic. Two minutes in Rick Nash was allowed to skate unchallenged wherever he desired, which happened to be right in front of the net. He put an easy one on a nice little backhand past Elliott to give the Blue Jackets the early lead. Luckily for the Avs Ryan O’Reilly doesn’t know the meaning of the word quit and put a wrister past Steve Mason off a Matt Hunwick disruption, Kevin Porter pass and his own rebound six minutes into the period. The rest of the period was pretty uneventful, except for Columbus’ Antoine Vermette being penalized for “playing with a broken stick,” which amused me to no end. Sadly the Avs didn’t do anything on the power play and the period ended at a 1 – 1 tie. » Continue reading “Avalanche Refuse To Fall Apart, Best CBJ In Shootout”