Which sports would each player participate in?

Like nearly everyone else, I have Olympic fever. Last night, I got to thinking “what sports would the members of the Colorado Avalanche compete in, if they were to be summer Olympians?”

No, Gabe. There is no medal for “best tan”. Try a beauty pageant.

Gabriel Landeskog-I’m putting Landy down for soccer. His brother is a big soccer player, and he even scored his first NHL goal using his feet. Of course, his penchant for hitting people might cause the entire opposing squad to lay down in protest. (I love soccer. But the diving is ridiculous.)

Matt Duchene-I have a good feeling about Dutchy and fencing. He’s got great stick handling skills, so after some adjustments, he could be very savvy with a foil. He also has quick feet for all of the footwork required. Plus, who remembers him jabbing people with his stick after wins? He was clearly practicing earning points!

Matt Hunwick-Hunny is the team sprinter. He’s the fastest player on the Avs skating, so I’m going to guess that he can run a mean 200 meter.

Erik Johnson-I’m putting Edge down for long distance running. (10k, 15k…probably not a marathon, but you never know). This call comes from me observing him on the bench after returning from a lengthy shift. His economy of movement, general energy conservation, and apparent lung capacity (he never panted, just deep, cleansing breaths) gives me confidence that he has the endurance for long distances.

Ryan O’Byrne-Byrner has to be the basketball player on the team. He’s the tallest player on the team, and the only Avalanche basketball story I have heard came from Matt Duchene. And it was not a pretty tale.

Jan Hejda- Hejda could be a good volleyball player, especially if he worked primarily as a setter. (Am I saying that right? I’ve blocked out my 7th grade volleyball unit, it was the most traumatic experience I ever had in all my school years.)

Paul Stastny-Pauly could go for two categories. First, I know he’s a big tennis player (and major Roger Federer fan), so I’m tabbing him for that. A second option is a biking event. I mean, just look at this biking outfit he has. He’s serious about rolling on two wheels.

Semyon Varlamov-Varls, as the most flexible player on the team, is clearly the gymnast of the bunch. He’s a little tall, so he might not be an all around gymnast, but he could certainly specialize on an event or two. (Pommel horse? Floor exercise?)

Ryan Wilson-”Sauce”, as Wilson is affectionately called by his teammates, is the resident baseball player. He played until he was in his teens, and he just competed in Doug Gilmour’s “Dougieball” tournament for charity. Clearly, if anyone on this team can hit a homerun, it’s #44.

Cody McLeod-The highlander represents in boxing. Was there ever any doubt?

Steve Downie-Wrestling? He’s aggressive and dogged, so I think that wrestling is a good fit. It’s a sport as old as time, and he plays some old school hockey.

Ryan O’Reilly; David Jones- Each of these players has a lot of overall skill, so I’m going to say they should be in the heptathlon, decathlon style events. Lots of things to do and be good at.

Chuck Kobasew-Chuckie, I’m making you a rower. No idea why, but I’m running out of sports, and I figure you’d prefer rowing to badminton.

Jean-Sebastian Giguere- Doesn’t Jiggy just seem like a natural, horse-y person? He’s good with his hands, so he’s be able to smoothly give directions to his horse as an equestrian.

Milan Hejduk-Captain archery. Hejdie seems like he would be the best at a high skill sport, such as archery. He’s good at golf, and threading the needle on the ice, so why not archery?

Jamie McGinn-For some reason, I’m getting the feeling that Ginner would love to play some beach volleyball. He’s got enough all  around strength to play the sport, and he’s been spending this summer taking pictures of his feet lakeside.

Shane O’Brien-OB is the Michael Phelps of this group. He’s got a strong upperbody, and long arms, which makes me believe he has what it takes to be a natural. Plus, apparently he’s a very good surfer.

Apologies to John Mitchell, P.A. Parenteau, and Greg Zanon. I just don’t know enough about you to be weird at this point.