If you frequent this site, you know full well that I’m obsessed with Jose Canseco. I
stalk actively follow his Twitter account. Many of my posts are somehow Canseco-related. And if you ever hang out with me, I talk about him A LOT. I guess you could say I find him interesting.
Wednesday evening, ESPN Deportes reported that Canseco admitted to using a banned substance and would not be playing in the Mexican baseball league. For those of you whose days aren’t consumed by following Canseco’s every move, I’ll catch you up to speed.
After being all but banned from all things MLB after outing just about every major leaguer for using steroids in his book Juiced, Canseco has been trying to stay relevant and to get the game of baseball to embrace him once again. He’s tried MMA, challenging other athletes to fights via Twitter, making public appearances anywhere that would take him, playing in professional softball leagues and making a spectacle out of himself on the Twitters.
He then watched the movie Moneyball and decided that he could make a comeback (how one gets that a 47 year-old man should try out for an MLB team from that movie is beyond me, but whatever). Like any normal human being, he took to Twitter pleading with Billy Beane (who is not on Twitter BTW) to give him a tryout. He even posted his email address for the world to see. When he didn’t get a response (SHOCKER), he tweeted:
Then he decided to tryout for a team in the Mexican League. He was given a tryout with the Quintana Roo Tigers. So down to Mexico went Jose! Seemed things were going well (or at least according to his Twitter account as he tweeted daily about the number of homeruns he was hitting and how steroids don’t affect bat speed).
Then the ESPN Deportes report comes out and Jose has a meltdown of epic proportions. I don’t even know what to call what we have been witnessing the past 24 hours. Calling it a “train wreck” just isn’t quite tragic enough.
We have denial:
Then the excuses:
Then a few threats:
Then a desperate attempt to cling to someone else’s fame:
Then the conspiracy theory:
Then I think he lost his mind:
Just remember, kids: