I wrote a little poem about the Red Sox today.
I think you
I’m not going to lie, I didn’t watch more than a couple minutes of this game. I had more important and exciting things to do… like watch the season premiere of Survivor. Those suckers are much more interesting than the Sox are right now — and just as much of a train wreck.
Do you really want me to tell you how the Red Sox only had five hits last night? Or how those five hits came from just two batters? Oh that’s right, sports fans. Pedro Ciriaco went 2-for-4 and Jacoby Ellsbury went 3-for-3. The rest of the line up was a big, fat O-fer. Batters three through nine did nothing, nada, zilch, diddly-squat.
The pitching is another whole story. A very sad, very ugly story. First let’s start with the fact that Daisuke Matsuzaka should not be allowed to pitch ever again. Five runs on nine hits in three innings? Yeah…bad. And the bullpen was equally as woeful. The final line of the game was just plain embarrassing – 13 runs on 15 hits with 10 walks and five strike outs.
How many more games do I need to endure before the season (and my suffering) ends? Oh, that would be 12 games. My magic number is 12, people. This also means that the Red Sox will officially finish the 2012 Summer of Suck with a below .500 record. Awesome. I hope you’re proud of yourselves, boys.
Click here for the box score if you’re curious to know what torture might feel like.
Tonight, the wretchedness continues with a real doozy of a pitchers’ duel. Clay Buchholz (11-6, 4.33) toes the mound against Cy Young hopeful David Price (18-5, 2.54) as the Sox battle once again to finish the season NOT in last place.