Hey Pedro, not sure you’re allowed to drink that in the clubhouse.(Photo by: Amanda Laws)

The Red Sox have hired former pitcher, Pedro Martinez. Too bad it’s not in a capacity where he might be able to fill in for a spot start here or there. If you ask me, even at the age of 41, he’s probably better than most of the starters on the roster right now. The Sox have hired Pedro as special assistant to general manager, Ben Cherington. Special assistant? Is Pedro going to be getting Ben’s coffee? Imagine…

Martinez, one of the best arms to ever pitch for the Red Sox, spent seven seasons (1998-2004) with the team, going 117-37 with a 2.52 ERA. He won back-to-back Cy Young awards in 1999 and 2000 and helped the Sox win their long-awaited World Series Championship in 2004. Over his career with the Dodgers, Expos, Sox, Mets and Phillies, Pedro amassed a record of 219-100 with a 2.93 ERA. Not too shabby.

Pedro will be involved in several areas of baseball operations, including evaluating players, and mentoring and instructing young players during Spring Training and throughout the season. But don’t mistake him for a coach. He is in no way interested in coaching or stepping on the toes of new Sox pitching coach, Juan Nieves. When asked if he would consider coaching, he told MLB.com,

“No. I don’t think so, honestly,” said Martinez. “I don’t think so. I can offer a lot, but I just don’t see myself as a pitching coach and having the same travel dates, hotels, like I played. I honestly don’t think so.”

Martinez hopes to be more of a liaison between the clubhouse and the front office, as well as instilling some of his baseball smarts into the players. Ever the clown, I’m hoping that Pedro brings a little levity to an organization that has become a bit too stuffy and boring over the past year.

“I love to teach,” said Martinez. “I love to deal with the players. I have a very good relationship with the players and I’m also fun. I’m also fun. I like to have fun, and I think they need a little bit of that in the clubhouse.”

Welcome back, Pedro! I’m looking forward to seeing more of your smiling face around these parts. Maybe you’re just the spark this lackluster band of ballplayers needs to get out of this rut. I know you were the life of the party at the 100th anniversary celebration!

ESPN and the Boston Globe report that the Red Sox are closing in (get it?) on a deal that would bring Pittsburgh Pirates closer Joel Hanrahan to Boston for prosepcts Stolmy Pimental and Jerry Sands.  The Globe adds that the Pirates initially wanted the heavily-touted Jose Iglesias as part of the deal, but that Boston wouldn’t budge.  That’s not too surprising given that Stephen Drew only has a one-year contract – but it seems like the Sox are really counting on Iglesias getting his hitting together in the minors this year so that they can call him a viable option at shortstop in time for the free-agent market to open up again next year.

Cody Ross and David Ortiz (credit: Amanda Laws)

The Hanrahan trade also, obviously, leaves Andrew Bailey’s future up in the air.  Not that he had much of a chance to wow the organization last year after spending most of it on the DL following his time in Oakland.

For what it’s worth, Hanrahan should be fine.  He notched 36 saves last year, but it took him 63 appearances to do so.  And, he has a 3.74 lifetime ERA.  The closer market’s not great this year, and at the very least, this moves up the entire bullpen without sacrificing much equity.

Also, Cody Ross is officially an Arizona Diamondback.  He had some interesting comments to the media on the way out of town.  The Globe quotes Ross, talking about the Red Sox’s efforts to keep him on the roster:

“I don’t know what happened but we could never agree on terms. They thought I’d come back no matter what because they thought I loved playing there. And I did. Who wouldn’t love playing at Fenway Park? I just wanted a fair deal. I told them what I wanted. I wasn’t trying to break the bank. They weren’t willing to do it.”

That’s polite, but kind of a damning and insightful thing to say.  The Red Sox do tend to ask their stars to re-sign at a deficit, because their stars (until lately, anyway) loved playing in Boston.  The fact that Ross couldn’t be convinced to sign at a lower value just because he “loved” playing at Fenway is kind of a big deal to me.  The bubbles that start the boil, maybe.  I wouldn’t be surprised at all if the Sox have trouble hanging on to their marquee players from here on out.

Which gives us a nice segue into Ross’s other comment, on ex-manager Bobby Valentine.  Ross alluded that he got along with Valentine better than any other player on the team.  “When Bobby came in,” Ross told the Globe, “his way of doing things was a lot different than what they were used to under Terry Francona and it was a shock to them. They weren’t on board with it.”

Also, Ben Cherington is officially Not Talking About Mike Napoli.  This should end well.

The Red Sox officially signed Ryan Dempster to a two-year, 26.5 million-dollar deal yesterday.

To which I say, meh.

Meh.

I just don’t think Dempster will be that good.  Ryan Dempster’s the kind of pitcher that’s been around so long that everyone knows his name – but that doesn’t mean he can hold up the Red Sox rotation.  Especially – ESPECIALLY – in the AL East.

Look at Dempster’s stats on baseball-reference.com.  He started 2012 with the Chicago Cubs, and was traded to the Texas Rangers on July 31, literally two minutes before the deadline expired.  His numbers with Chicago – where he began as a reliever and a closer before earning a starting spot in 2008 – are good.  He had an ERA basically in the mid-threes as a starter, save for a down 2011 season and a renaissance 2012 first half.  He left Chicago sporting a 2.25 ERA on the year.

But, look what happened once he got traded to Texas.  He lodged a 5.09 ERA in the last half of 2012, and the fact he started walking the ballpark didn’t help him out any.

It’s well-known that for pitchers, the switch from the National League to the American League is a tough one.  The DH comes into play, the hitters tend to grind out their at-bats more (especially in the AL East), and ERAs tend to rise significantly.  Dempster pitched well against the Sox last year – allowing no runs over 13 2/3 innings – but let’s face it, pretty much everyone “pitched well” against the Sox last year.  And, Dempster got crushed by the better teams in the American League.  Nick Cafardo at the Boston Globe put it well:

The Angels ate him up in three starts. He allowed nine hits and eight runs in 4-2/3 innings in one start; six hits and five runs over 3-1/3 innings in another; and seven hits and our runs in 5-2/3 innings in a third.

The Yankees beat him up for nine hits and eight runs over six innings. The A’s got him for six hits and five runs over three innings.

And, as Cafardo notes, the Rangers didn’t make a big push to re-sign Dempster.  Cafardo also writes that a National League manager expects the Red Sox to pick and choose the teams that Dempster goes up against.  That’s… not exactly a ringing endorsement.

Was the last half of 2012 a hiccup?  Or was it a sign of things to come?  And what, exactly, do the Red Sox expect out of Dempster?  He’s gone 200 innings a year consistently since he became a starter (except for last year – 173).  The Sox needed that kind of consistency last year, and couldn’t get it out of the starting staff.  The looming question, though, is whether those 200 innings will be quality innings or not.

I have my doubts.  The Red Sox still need to put some serious work into their starting staff – Dempster will be a good addition, but I would be very concerned if Ben Cherington sees him as anything better than a fourth starter.  The Sox still need that top-of-the-rotation guy, and their time is starting to run out.

Also, as an aside, SOMETHING is going on with the Mike Napoli deal.  The Sox haven’t announced it formally yet, but Cafardo also wrote in the Globe that a medical issue’s come up with Napoli’s leg or hip, and that the sides are trying to wrangle the contract language to accommodate that issue.  Even if the sides work out the language and Napoli gets signed, yikes – it seems like Murphy’s Law applies to medical issues.

But, happy thoughts – Shane Victorino gave a great press conference yesterday, and it’s Friday.  We all love Fridays!

Rumor has it that the Red Sox are still “in the mix” for free agent, Josh Hamilton. Is it just me or do the Sox seem to have a surplus of outfielders going into the 2013 season? Last time I checked, you could only field three guys at a time out there. Don’t get me wrong… I wouldn’t mind seeing Hamilton and his rather large bat in the line up instead of Jonny Gomes but not at the expense of a ridiculous Crawford-like contract.

That’s where the problem lies. Hamilton is supposedly holding out for a contract of at least six years, but it doesn’t appear that any of the teams interested are willing to pony up that kind of cash or commitment. Probably smart considering his propensity for injury. The Red Sox are comfortable with three years. Hamilton is not. But with no big offers rolling in from the other teams involved, there is still a chance that the Sox could snag him for a short time.

If the Hamilton thing doesn’t pan out for Boston, have no fear, they have a back up plan. NESN reported that their “fall back plan” if they get shut out of the Hamilton lottery is to look at signing Nick Swisher. Yeah… because their offensive numbers are sooooo similar. Honestly though, Swisher was one of the few Yankees I actually liked so I wouldn’t mind seeing him put on the red socks. And he comes with a lot less baggage and better yet, he doesn’t need a babysitter. It might just be worth it.

I could do without the drama that follows Hamilton. I could also do without the fear of paying that much for a player that could completely crack under the Boston pressure — you know it’s going to take at least $25 million a year to make this guy happy. And really? If Ben Cherington is interested in writing a big check, I’d prefer to see that money go to someone that’s going to boost this feeble pitching staff. Kyle Lohse, anyone? How about Anibal Sanchez?

I don’t think anyone really had any written-in-stone prediction about what Red Sox general manager Ben Cherington was going to do this offseason, except: something.  There’s no way Cherington could have just let things lie the way they were left when the season ended.

Now, at the close of the Winter Meetings, we’re starting to see some answers, and maybe a glimpse of how Cherington plans on managing the Sox roster during his time at the helm of this shaky, leaky, but still storied and serviceable ship.

So far, what we’ve seen: Cherington will sign decent, capable, solid players, but none of them will knock your socks off, get you Really Excited, or wake Red Sox Nation up from its hibernation full of Patriots games and Rondo suspensions.

Jonny Gomes, for example.  Cherington signed Gomes to a two-year, $20 million dollar deal just before Thanksgiving.  Red Sox fans probably know Gomes best from his early-career tenure with Tampa Bay.  The 32-year old corner outfielder’s since spent time in the National League, before he played with Oakland last season.  He’s… decent.  Fine.  He has a mid-.200 batting average, he gets around the bases, and he plays good defense.  He has some power, but he’s not the guy you expect to move runners.

Personality-wise, Gomes kind of strikes me as a poor man’s Dustin Pedroia: Wikipedia describes him as having hustle, playing aggressively, and of being that intangible baseball quality of “gritty.”  He holds the Tampa Bay record of being hit by pitches, which he set when Josh Beckett (who else, really?) plunked him back in 2007.  He’s also been right in the middle of two fights that stick out in my mind: the spring training brawl with New York’s Shelley Duncan in 2008, and the Coco Crisp-led melee on the mound during a Tampa-Boston series in June, 2008.

Mike Napoli – I’ve always kind of liked Mike Napoli.  It’s true – I think I liked him because he always seemed to come up with the big hit late in the game, he always seems to beat out the tag on a crucial play at the plate, and he just seems like a guy who will leave it all on the field, every day.  He’s agreed to a three-year, $39 million deal with the Sox, where he’s expected to play first base (but, the fact that he’s also a veteran catcher who could dust off his mitt and get behind the plate in a pinch should get Ryan Lavarnway thinking about where he’s going to be traded to).

Napoli’s a solid American League guy.  His entire major league career’s been in Anaheim and Texas, and he’s been a key part of those clubs.  He’ll probably be good for 30 home runs and 80 RBI, which will give a nice boost to the Red Sox lineup.

Shane Victorino – the Flyin’ Hawaiian, according to his Twitter (@ShaneVictorino).  The outfielder also signed a three-year, $39 million deal.  You know this guy.  He’s been all over the league, and he’s always contributed.  The All-Star probably hit his peak in 2008, when he and the Phillies charged through the postseason to win the World Series.  But, he’s still a power, and it will be fun to see him play in Fenway.  I saw him on an episode of that show with Kate Gosselin and her eight children (Kate and Eight?), where he met all the children and was absolutely charming with them.  I suspect he’ll be one of those “clubhouse guys” that we all know Boston has had a dearth of lately.

Victorino has a 162-game, .275 batting average.  He’ll probably get on base a lot, hit with power when it counts, and be a quick fan favorite.

So, those three sound fun.  Unfortunately, none of those three happen to be starting pitchers.  Are the Sox planning on doing anything about the complete disaster that was the 2012 pitching staff?  Like, seriously?  Starting pitching is going to be the key – Gomes, Napoli and Victorino are good additions, but they won’t be able to keep baseballs from flying over their heads and into the stands at Fenway.

Not even this disguise will get him back in the Red Sox dugout.

Welp, we all knew it was coming. The Red Sox fired manager, Bobby Valentine, after just one season at the helm. Honestly, if the Sox didn’t fire Bobby, I’m not sure I would be able to watch next season. Needless to say, I’m not sad to see him go. I may have actually done a little happy dance when I heard the news.

The Red Sox were nothing short of horrific this season finishing in the AL East basement, a dismal 26 games behind the division champion, Yankees. Their record of 69-93 was the worst since 1965.

Although Valentine was not the first choice for rookie GM, Ben Cherington, he didn’t place all the blame on the manager.

“Our 2012 season was disappointing for many reasons,” general manager Ben Cherington said in the team’s announcement. “No single issue is the reason, and no single individual is to blame. We’ve been making personnel changes since August, and we will continue to do so as we build a contending club. With an historic number of injuries, Bobby was dealt a difficult hand. He did the best he could under seriously adverse circumstances, and I am thankful to him.”

I’m glad that Ben said some nice words for Bobby as he sent him packing. I can’t seem to muster one positive comment to describe what went on for the past six months. From the record number of injuries, to the discontent in the club house, to the manager’s borderline basket case-style diarrhea of the mouth, the whole season was sickening to watch.

I’m glad it’s over and I look forward to the next chapter. Hopefully 2013 brings us a manager that studied under the Bill Belichick School of Verbal Constipation. And also maybe a reinvigorated roster with heart and a desire to actually play baseball.

Sayonara, Bobby… don’t let the door hit you in the ass…

You could almost hear it over the television… pfffft-pfffft-pffffffffffffft… as the Red Sox completed the home portion of the 2012 season with yet another loss. This time, 4-2 at the hands of the still battling Tampa Bay Rays. They ended up finishing with a ghastly record of 34-47 at Fenway, the worst since 1965, and surely not the best way to celebrate the park’s 100th birthday.

Jon Lester flirted with a no hitter, breezing through the first four innings. But, as has been the case all year, it was just not meant to be. He quickly lost the no-no and the lead with back-to-back homers in the fifth by Carlos Pena (a two-run shot) and Ben Francisco. I have to think that if this were any other season, giving up four runs wouldn’t be such a tough hill to climb for the Sox. They would battle back and take games like this with ease.

The line up that struggled to eek out just two runs on four hits last night is a line up very different from the line up that opened this 2012 season. Only three players from Opening Day were present — Dustin Pedroia, Cody Ross and Jarrod Saltalamacchia. And unfortunately, some of those big bats, whether they’re on the DL or have been shipped off to another team, have been significantly missed over the past few months.

I’m convinced this season is cursed. Maybe it’s the curse of Tito, who sits at home with his trifecta of voodoo dolls that eerily resemble John Henry, Tom Werner and Larry Lucchino. Or maybe it’s the curse of Bobby Valentine, who most likely actually is a voodoo doll controlled by some unknown devious force hell bent on ruining my beloved Sox. Whatever it is that made this team suck, I truly hope it is exorcised in the off-season. And by exorcised, I mean firing Bobby V.

In other news, some good news actually, Jason Varitek has been named Special Assistant to General Manager, Ben Cherington.

“Jason was one of the most respected players of his era and will be a key voice as we move forward,” general manager Ben Cherington said in a statement. “He will be involved in a number of areas, including Major League personnel decisions, evaluations, and mentorship and instruction of young players. We are fortunate to have him in this role.”

This is the first step in putting the heart back in this team… when Varitek retired, I’m convinced he took the team spirit with him. I have every confidence this move will greatly benefit the front office and give them a better understanding of the inner workings of the club house. Could they possibly be grooming Tek to be skipper some day? I sure hope so.

All reports this evening have said that Carl Crawford will meet with GM Ben Cherington, Bobby Valentine and the medical staff to determine whether he will have season-ending Tommy John surgery. According to the Boston Herald, Crawford has been trying to play through the pain because the team is trying to stay in playoff contention.

However, during tonight’s game, the ESPN crew announced that a decision has been made and Crawford will have surgery — possibly on Tuesday. Does this mean he no longer thinks his team has a snowball’s chance in hell of making it to the post season? You’re not alone, Carl…

It’s too bad since it appeared Crawford was just starting to contribute to the team in a way he didn’t in his first season. Tonight is only his 31st game this season and he’s batting .283 with 10 doubles, two triples, three homers and 19 RBI in 113 at-bats. Most of those extra base hits have come within the past couple of weeks.

Huge news in Red Sox Nation yesterday.  HUGE NEWS.

Andrew Bailey, the team’s presumptive closer going into spring training, finally came off the disabled list last night, and held the Baltimore Orioles scoreless over a one-out appearance.

And we thought this was Bobby V’s low point.

Oh wait, that’s not it?

Huge news.  HUGE.

Josh Beckett got roughed up yet again last night, pitching five and a third innings and giving up six earned runs – three on a home run with Beckett’s runners on that Mark Melancon gave up in relief of Beckett, but still.  The 7-1 loss dropped Beckett’s record to a lowly 5-10, and was, in a nutshell, not what the Red Sox needed.  I fully expect Beckett effigies to start appearing on Yawkey Way any day now (not that the offense did much better – one run?  Come on, guys).

With the loss, the Sox fell to 57-60, and failed to pick up a game in the standings against not only an AL East competitor, but also to a team directly ahead of them in the wild card race.

Oh wait, that’s not it, either?

How about this: huge news in Red Sox Nation. HUGE.

There’s somewhat of a mutiny afoot.  Back on July 26, while the team was in New York, Adrian Gonzalez, who claimed to represent a group of players (p.s. – NOW Adrian Gonzalez acts like a leader?), sent a text message to the team and ownership.  The text, according to story-breaker Jeff Passan of Yahoo! Sports, blasted manager Bobby Valentine for leaving starting pitcher Jon Lester in Boston’s July 22 game to get blasted for 11 runs, embarassing Lester and shortening the lifespans of Red Sox fans everywhere in one fell swoop.

A meeting followed between a group of players and ownership, and to read Passan’s piece, people are p-i-s-s-e-d.  Gonzalez and Dustin Pedroia were the most vocal, and some players flat-out said that they didn’t want to play baseball for Valentine anymore.

Interjection: if these players call their lollygagging the ball around the infield, their lollygagging their way down to first, their lollygagging in and out of the dugout, “playing baseball,” then I’m not sure I want them playing baseball for Valentine anymore either.  Because you know what that makes them? Larry? Lollygaggers!  Lollygaggers.

Passan notes, and I think this is important, that not all the players share Gonzalez’s and Pedroia’s and their amorphous scary-sounding “group of players” concern – many players, it appears, feel that Valentine is being unfairly scapegoated for the team’s sheer inability to play baseball with any modicum of skill, competitiveness, or, lately, professionalism.

Ben Cherington and the ownership, predictably, gave some boring quotes about how the front office was behind Valentine and was committed to him managing at least through the season and blah blah blah.  Boring, but what do you expect?  They’re really going to say that they made a mistake with the hiring?  That would open up the Terry Francona drama all over again (oh, and interestingly, this text message was sent at around the same time that Francona spent 45 minutes hanging out with his old players in the Sox clubhouse a few weeks back – coincidence?).

Readers, let’s get serious for a second here.  The part of the Passan piece that stands out for me is the part where we really see how immature and terrible some of our most respected, shortest, “team-player,” “grittiest” Red Sox players are.  I’m talking to you, Pedroia.  Compare this quote, from the Red Sox’ wrap of last night’s game, to Pedroia’s antics as described by Passan.  First, the wrap quote:

We’re going to go out and play as hard as we can. That’s all we can do. We’ve dug ourselves this hole and we’ve got to try to dig ourselves out of it. We’ve got to be professional, go out and grind out at-bats, play good defense and pitch well. That’s it.

Second, from the simply illuminating Passan piece:

From the beginning of the Red Sox’s courtship of Valentine this offseason to the double-barreled votes of confidence last week, the match of the hard-nosed Bobby V with the laissez-faire Boston clubhouse seemed tenuous at best. It has proven far worse, personified best perhaps by a picture circulating around via text message, according to a fourth source.

Pedroia, notorious among teammates for his wit and humor, is in the foreground with a giddy smile, his tongue wagging and both thumbs up. Next to him is allegedly Valentine, face down on a table, apparently asleep. A caption accompanies the picture: “Our manager contemplating his lineup at 3:30 p.m.”

Yeah Dustin, that’s mighty professional of you.  Please, please, grow up, and back up your manager.  That’s part of your job.  And if you can’t do that, at least don’t strut around acting like a professional baseball player – because to me, the word “professional” has a much greater connotation than just the simple fact that you get paid (millions of dollars) to play a game.

Passan’s story has a lot of meat to it, and I recommend that you read it in full.  It describes a clubhouse in flux, a mercurial manager who has made some terrible baseball and personnel decisions with only the veneer of front-office approval, and hints at another major scapegoating to come in the offseason (because, as we all know, the fact that the players are playing badly can’t just be the player’s fault – clearly, Valentine has to go so that the Red Sox PR machine can roll on unencumbered).

I also recommend that you read this internet gem, which makes an amazing play on the iPhone’s tendency to autocorrect text misspellings in hilarious ways.  Somewhere, Adrian Gonzalez is blushing.

If it even matters anymore, the Red Sox are playing in Baltimore again tonight.  Aaron Cook (3-5, 4.70 ERA) starts in place of Felix Doubront against Miguel Gonzalez (4-2, 3.42 ERA).

Just ridiculous.  Ridiculous.

The Red Sox beat the Tigers last night 7-3 behind another strong performance by Clay Buchholz to pull one game above .500 and out of the basement once again. He seems to have successfully put that horrid start to the year behind him and is pitching like he should. Actually he’s pitching like a couple of other pitchers on the staff should be but unfortunately are not. *cough*Beckett*cough*Lester*cough*

The Tigers struck first when Austin Jackson hit the second pitch he saw for a home run to open the game. My first thought — uh oh. But the Sox didn’t get down on themselves. After Jacoby Ellsbury walked, Carl Crawford followed with an RBI triple — his first of the season. Dustin Pedroia knocked Crawford in with a ground ball out.

After Detroit tied up the game in the third, Pedroia came through again to put the Sox ahead for good with a two-run home run over the Monster. And Will Middlebrooks put the nail in the coffin with a two-run dinger of his own in the bottom of the eighth.

Clay Buchholz pitched a solid eight innings of work. He allowed five hits and three runs (two of them earned) and struck out four. Vicente Padilla pitched a scoreless ninth to close out the win. Buchholz was pleased with the all-around performance in last night’s win.

“It’s just all got to happen at the same time,” said Buchholz. “You’ve got to hit and pitch well to win games or go on a big streak that we need to go on. We’ve got to build some confidence, get on a little streak, and who knows where it will take us?”

Nice win for the Sox but it wasn’t without its drama. A frustrated Ryan Sweeney punched a door in the clubhouse following a tough out in the eighth inning and had to leave the game. Really, Ryan? Punching a door? Isn’t that a little childish? I wonder if he did it on purpose to take his name out of the trade rumors. He’ll have an x-ray today and will most likely be placed on the DL. *sigh*

Click here for the solid box score, courtesy of the Red Sox. The Tigers and Sox face off again tonight in a matchup between Josh Beckett (5-9, 4.57) and Justin Verlander (11-6, 2.60) — that’s, of course, if Josh Beckett doesn’t get dealt before the 4pm trade deadline today. Rumor has it that the Texas Rangers are no longer interested in Beckett, but there still might be some life on a deal with either the LA Dodgers or the Atlanta Braves. If you’re going to send him away, Ben Cherington, just please, please, please don’t let him go for crap. Crap isn’t going to get us more wins. And we need more wins.