I take back everything I said the other day about how this west coast swing was going to be a cinch. I TAKE IT BACK!! Ok, can we please just win already?

Last night was, in short, a pitching disaster. Daisuke Matsuzaka, still in search of that elusive first win of 2012, was… well… horrible. Granted, he did claim to have a (as Bobby Valentine called it) “a crick in his neck,” yet he took the mound anyway. Honestly, I think a high school pitcher could’ve done a better job.

Dice K left the game after 28 pitches. His line was not impressive. The Oakland A’s bashed out five runs on four hits, including home runs by former Red Sox players Josh Reddick (his 19th of the year!) and Brandon Moss. But… he was injured. So do I forgive him for his bad outing? Probably not. It’s back to the DL most likely for Dice K and a game of eeny, meeny, miny, mo to pick the next member of the starting rotation.

Maybe Clayton Mortensen? He came in to relieve Dick K and pitched five innings, giving up just one more run on two hits. He’s been relegated to relief work for the most part with the Red Sox, but did start when he played in Colorado. He can’t be any worse… or more painful to watch. Despite the loss, Mortensen told reporters he was happy with his performance.

“It’s always nice to be able to go out and pick our team up. When something like that happens, it’s huge to go out there and soak up some innings so our bullpen can be fresh for the rest of our series against these guys,” said Mortensen. “They play us tough, so we’re going to need all the pitching we can have. So it was nice, I was happy with it.”

I can’t even discuss the offense right now. It’s just… yeah. One run isn’t going to cut it if you want to win.

Will Middlebrooks didn’t play last night and will probably be making a trip to the DL with a hamstring issue. Now that’s what you call bad timing.

Click here for the uninspired box score, courtesy of the Red Sox. Jon Lester tries to right the ship tonight against Bartolo Colon who is just back from a short trip to the DL. David Ortiz will try, yet again, to hit #400.

On another note, it’s going to be an exciting upcoming week for Portland fans. Carl Crawford makes strides to get back to Boston and will be playing for the Sea Dogs tonight. Ryan Sweeney could find himself in Portland possibly on Thursday. And Jacoby Ellsbury, who hit a 2-run homer for Fort Meyers last night, should be with Dogs later this week. *runs off to buy tickets*