On Sunday, the Oklahoma Thunder defeated the Memphis Grizzlies to move on to the Western Conference Finals, an exciting continuation to a whirlwind season for this young team. This will be the first time that the franchise will be going to the conference finals since 1996 when they were the Seattle Supersonics.
Without a doubt, its star Kevin Durant has won the hearts of NBA fans everywhere as he sinks shot after shot without flinching. There have been countless discussionsÂ regarding Durant’s talent. His work ethic.Â His incredible shooting, ball handling and defensive skills.
But that would be too easy an explanation.Â No, the ladies at Aerys Sports have a developed a theory about Durant’s amazing success.
His backpack is magical.
Seriously, this has to be the answer.
Whether casually attired or decked to the nines, Durant always has his backpack on in post-game pressers.
As the season progressed, we’re not the only one who’ve noticed this phenomenon.Â But there are more questions than answers:Â Why does he wear the backpack? What mysterious powers does it possess? Is Durant using it to send a superÂ secret message to his opponents?Â Does he have mommy issues?Â (Okay, we’ll leave that for another column.)
To answer these questions, we had to start with backpack itself.
This is not some glorified book bag your average fifth grader would lug to class.Â No, it is the definition of form following function, a heavy duty sack of beauty with industrial-strength straps Durant secures as if he is preparing to climb Kilimanjaro.
Second, what the hell is in it? When asked in a press conference, Durant replied tersely:
“iPad, Bible, headphones and cell phone chargers.”
Umm, that can’t be right. The size and protection that backpack provides…. there must be something more.
We brought our NBA/magical book bag experts together and came up with a whole host of possibilities including, but not limited to Nate Robinson, an ant farm, a Pet Rock, an invisbility cloak, tap shoes, the Real Jeff Green, Greg Oden’s kness, rejected Kirilenko tattoos, Seattle’s soul, Manu Ginobi’s flop sweat, Allen Iverson’s arm sleeve and Rajon Rondo’s headbead.
And that was on the first beer.
But we here at Aerys are not
above about spreading scurrilous rumors.Â So I decided to go straight to the source.
That’s right, peeps.Â I did an interview with Kevin Durant’s backpack.Â (Take that, Deadspin.)
I was able to catch up with Kevin Durant’s backpack on one of its rare days off.Â We met at the Ivy in Hollywood.
Aerys: Kevin Durant’s recent success has been partially attributed to you.Â But when asked, Kevin dismissed the claims, saying you were merely storage for his iPad, Bible, and cell phone chargers. What do you have to say about this?
Aerys: Wait a minute. You don’t look anything like Kevin Durant’s backpack.
Ayres: Does it bother you that Kevin doesn’t give you more credit?
Backpack: I was built with the sturdiest of materials and can withstand the coldest of winds and harshest of conditions.Â His comments roll off me like a flat Diet Mountain Dew on Scotchguarded Naugahyde.
Aerys: You sound a little upset.
Aeyrs: Did you just go Kung Fu on me?
Aerys: So you admit there is an intimate relationship between you two?
Aerys: Define “professional.”
Aerys:No need to get rude. Â Let’s move on to other things. What do you have inside of you?
Aerys: But new backpacks come on the market every day, what makes you so special?
Aerys: Now you’re sounding deep.
Aerys: What do you see in the future for you and Kevin?
Backpack: Well, living in the now is the truest path to happiness and enlightenment but I will say our relationship extends beyond the normal backpack/owner.Â I see us being close for a very long time.
Aerys: So, friends or more than just friends?
Backpack just gave me a coy smile and called for the check.
And with that,Â a huge Tumi roll-on duffle appeared and announced the interview was over.
This isn’t the end, Backpack! Â Only relentless reporting and countless margaritas will lead us to the truth of what this relationship really entails.
In the meantime, we never got the answer we were looking for.Â So we ask you now, what do YOU think is really inside of Kevin Durant’s backpack?