Well, after a two-week grad school induced hiatus, I am back and better than ever. I wish I could say the same for the Browns, but at the end of Week 2, December can’t get here soon enough. Looks like the preseason (where we went 3-1) was just a fluke. Or a mirage. Or maybe Cleveland just can’t have nice things. Yea probably that last one.
Anyways, Week 1 was looking good. We had Wiener dog races, and Muni lot was closed by 9:30 because it was full of Browns tailgaters, and the bars were packed with people sporting orange and brown. All my friends gathered around the T.V. with enough food to feed an army, all waiting on the kickoff to what would be a better season. Right? It’s a nice dream, but I’m going to pinch you back into reality.
According to USA Today, it’s Ryan Tannehill’s year. Well clearly it is because he made the Browns defense look silly a lot. Brandon Weeden didn’t need any help making the offense look silly though, they did that all on their own. That’s really all I have to say about that. I don’t remember much because by halftime we were all depression eating and by the 4th quarter the food was gone and we missed most of the second half because we were looking at our fantasy scores.
Week 2 arrived and the hope has returned. We all think, hmm maybe Week 1 was just a fluke. Everyone has a bad week here and there (as evident by Eli Manning’s Week 1 performance against the Cowboys). I settle in to watch pregame and learn that Joey Flacco’s wife just had a baby. Like, JUST popped the kid out that morning and he JUST found out during pregame warm-ups. I think to myself (and probably said out loud, scaring my neighbor) “HOLY S***, we might actually have a chance! Joey will be so worried about getting done with the game to see his kid, he won’t be able to concentrate!”
That’s how the first half looked. Browns were up 6-0 and I was one happy girl. But I knew it wouldn’t last. And it didn’t. Joey got it together, and his receivers stopped being silly and the Ravens won. Of course they did.
So, do you want the bad news now? Oh, you thought that was the bad news? No, it actually gets worse. During the 4th quarter QB Brandon Weeden left the game with a sprained thumb. So we saw Jason Campbell do just as poorly as Weeden. I thought Norv Turner was just a bad head coach but his offensive coordinating was supposed to be good. Well it didn’t look that way. Weeden was sacked 5 times and on the ground so much he looked like an awkward turtle. Still no word on who will start on Sunday at QB.
The good news is that our kicker, which we signed the week leading up to the first regular season game, made all of his kicks including a 51 yard FG. So I guess there is one bright spot. Oh there’s two. The Steelers lost Monday night, which means the Bengals won, but a Steelers loss is a Steelers loss. They are also not looking so hot, so there’s hope for us yet. But as a city in general, Cleveland’s hopes mostly ride on the Indians. There’s always next year, right?