There’s really not much to say about this game. Yeah. We’re not a good team when our offense doesn’t work.

The only way we were able to score is because Flaherty was hit by a pitch and was doubled in. That’s a true story. We can’t score unless we get hit by pitches, apparently. Right.

Also, Tommy Hunter gave up a home run again, which makes this the most unoriginal game recap ever because he pretty much always does that.

Here is my cat facepalming to improve this game recap.

This is how many saves our closer has.

It took the Indians nine innings to score those first two runs. They came on a homer in the ninth inning off of Luis Ayala, who was going for one of those uncommon feats wherein a relief pitcher closes the game out by pitching the final two innings. In the end, it didn’t happen, so Jim Johnson came out and promptly gave up a double, which became a third run.

This all came after Zach Britton pitched a solid six innings and got three runs of support, with the fourth run being tacked on in the eighth by Wilson Betemit (who blasted a homer into the right field stands). Britton only gave up four hits total and walked two batters, striking out five. He actually looked pretty darn good today, which is certainly exciting given that we haven’t had him around for most of the year. It’s reassuring knowing that we have pitchers in reserve, at least.

Of course, the problem today was that we couldn’t exactly subdue the opponents in the final inning of the game after pretty much smothering them for the first eight. Credit to the Indians for not knowing when they’re beaten, because that’s a mentality that I think all sports teams should have, but the Orioles bullpen really made it possible for them. Jim Johnson ended up with save number 30, sure, but he allowed a run and ended up walking a batter before finally getting things done. It was more stressful than it needed to be.

Oh, but Jim Johnson is leading the AL in saves, so there’s that, at least.

Tomorrow night we play Cleveland again, somewhat oddly ending a series on a Monday night, before we get to return home. We don’t have an off-day until August 2nd. That’s actually a longer time than it seems because we’re playing every night. Eh, we’ll manage now that we’ve remembered how to win again. It’s such a relief knowing that this team hasn’t completely forgotten everything.

I wrote a post about Chris Tillman winning another game and the Orioles giving him three runs, which was not much compared to last night but enough since Tilly only gave up one run (on a solo homer in the first inning) over 6.2 innings pitched.

Then my phone ate the post.

Fortunately, most people don’t read game recaps on Saturdays. Unfortunately, people not reading game recaps on Saturdays makes me sad, and I want to change that. Starting tonight, each Saturday I’m going to post something completely ridiculous in my game recap so that you have to come back to the site to see what it is.

I’ll start with what’s available on my phone for this week. Random fact about me: for three years, I’ve been the reigning Galaga champion in Point Pleasant Beach, New Jersey. Here’s my high score, located at Pavillion Arcade on Jenkinson’s Boardwalk:

Well, look at us go! It turns out that split of the Twins series might have been what the Orioles needed, because they came out swinging tonight and ended up completely obliterating the Indians. Here’s a couple of interesting little tidbits from tonight:

Seriously, how did we pull this off?

So how did we pull off such an amazingly overwhelming victory if that happened? Let’s take a look at that third inning, where most of the magic happened tonight:

• With the score tied 1-1 after the first inning, Jim Thome scored from third after Matt Wieters reached on a fielders’ choice. 2-1 Orioles.
• Wilson Betemit doubled, putting Wieters on third, and Chris Davis was intentionally walked. Mark Reynolds then doubled, scoring Wieters and Betemit. 4-1 Orioles.
• Ryan Flaherty hit a three-run homer, bringing everyone else in. 7-1 Orioles.

After that, other runs crossed the plate – two came in the fourth, one on a Jim Thome homer and the other one after three consecutive batters walked and Chris Davis forced the Indians to make him the out on a fielders’ choice as Adam Jones skipped across home plate. A final run scored in the sixth, with Adam Jones again crossing the plate.

By the way, that Thome homer was pretty important:

Congrats, JI
JIM THOME!

So there we are. Also worth noting tonight: Miguel Gonzalez. He went seven innings and only gave up two runs, which normally looks pretty good for a starter but looks even better when your team scores eight more runs than that. Give the man some credit, though, because he pitched awfully well tonight.

Oh, and today the Orioles acquired Omar Quintanilla from the Mets. I watched him play for the Mets this year because I see the Mets pretty much every day, so I can assure you that he’s a pretty good pickup. All we had to do was give the Mets money which I think should be used to help pay off the team’s debts, but whatever.

I think today was a pretty good day.

Right. Yeah. We’re really hitting a rough stretch here and it’s really not very fun.

Matusz struggled right out of the gate today, which made things especially hard for us – over his four innings (and two batters in the fifth) faced, he gave up five runs, although only four were earned. The Orioles didn’t exactly bring the offense today, either, only pushing across one run each in the fifth and sixth innings. It was better than most of their games lately, but it was still pretty sad to watch, especially after Cleveland piled the runs on early. (They tacked one on in the ninth to bring the game to its final score of 6-2.)

Also, here is your JI-

JIM THOME report: 0-4 with two Ks and 3 men left on base. Not the greatest debut ever, I have to say, but he’s been struggling this year and hopefully he’ll be able to eventually turn things around now that he’s in Baltimore.

Eh, I’m honestly relieved that series is over. Now we can do things like lose to the Mariners and Angels away from home whilst staying up until 1 am to watch the very ends of those games where we inevitably do lose.

I don’t know if I can give this particular game a Morris Marina, but here’s a Morris Marina for the entire series, because let’s face it – this was awful. I’m amazed that we weren’t swept, to be honest.

At least we won one game.

This was ugly. Like, really, really ugly. I don’t think we should even talk about this.

Basically, we looked horrible. See? Five runs each were on Dana Eveland and Tommy Hunter, and we weren’t able to answer very well. We just scored five overall.

Oh, but we did get Jim Thome, so now I can say JI-

JIM THOME a lot. He’s expected to be activated tomorrow, so I should honor The Dugout and write tomorrow’s recap in caps lock. Right? Of course I should.

And now…I think I’ll find a way to make this loss feel better. Fortunately, I have sheepdogs and cats for times like these…

She doesn’t like this game very much, but I do.

I really don’t know how to describe this one. It was one of those seesaw sorts of games and I was unable to watch tonight, so I was therefore unable to write my recap as the game went on.

Here is what happened.

Seriously, it was just one of those nights. There were some positives, certainly: the Orioles scored more than three runs for the first time since June 16th. That’s a huge monkey off the team’s back. They’re also only four games behind the Yankees now (because the Yankees were kind and lost), so that makes me feel a little better, too. Oh, and Jake Arrieta only gave up five runs in less than four innings this time.

Thankfully, we had Matt Wieters to hit a home run and Rule 5 Flaherty to save the day and single in a run in the eighth inning, with Xavier Avery sealing the deal with an insurance homer later in the inning. It’s nice to have a savior or two in your lineup.

This game can’t be a Morris Marina game since the Orioles won it, but both teams didn’t exactly do a good job with damage control tonight (fifteen runs total is quite a bit, after all). Therefore, I will leave you all with this beautiful error from my hometown’s Stop and Shop since the game was about as coherent as this grammar is.

The Orioles are renown for being inept most of the time.

Wow, we really suck lately.

I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I really want the All-Star Break to get here, like, pronto. If this was MLB 2K12, I would’ve hit the reset button on my console several times by now, because this lack of offense is really becoming a major issue. The team had multiple chances to score, and with the exception of J.J. Hardy’s 2-run homer nobody took advantage of those opportunities.

On the other hand, Cleveland had two 3-run homers, so there you go. That’s how to take advantage of opportunities, guys.

I really don’t even know what to say at this point, but this team needs to get their act together quickly if they want to hang around in this division. The Orioles are still in second place, but they’re now 5.5 games behind the first-place Yankees (who admittedly had a huge winning streak recently). They look weak and feeble and I can’t wait until July 9th when they get some time off because they’re falling apart on us. It’s sad because they looked quite competent for the longest time, but those glaring issues – like offense and occasional pitching problems (namely giving up home runs) – are showing more and more and teams are starting to jump on them.

I hate that I have to do this for the third game in a row, but I have to give the Orioles a Morris Marina.

Yep.

You know, it’s seven straight losses and that’s why it sucks. There’s really nothing more to say except that there is literally no offense in this club and that’s why they can’t win at all.

Let’s just focus on how this was the first time in thirty-six games that Koji Uehara walked someone instead. At least it’s good to know that he throws strikes.

(Oh, and Matusz and Hardy are getting better, but they’re not ready to rejoin the team just yet. Which is not okay, because we need them. Eh. Just our luck.)

If not even Guthrie can pitch us to a win, who can?

At the very least, we tried, but the fact that we’ve now lost six straight games and are under .500 makes me a little sad. I don’t know where all that confidence went – the team looks deflated and half-hearted out there. It’s just not okay, guys. I know you’re not expected to win the AL East, but play like you’ve got nothing to lose, not like you’ve got nothing left in the tank.

I’m honestly disappointed in you people. I’m not sure where you went wrong, but you really seemed like you cared in the beginning of the season and now you’re dropping off. I’d love to see that fight you had in Spring Training and for the first few games of the season, but it’s just hard to find lately.

At least Guthrie sounds like he cares. I’d like to see the rest of you care, too. Put it out there on the field, will you? I can see some of you are trying, but you’ll win if you go out there confidently. Talented teams with no confidence lose ballgames, boys.

So I’m expecting something different next time. Something that’ll put us in the win column. It would be really exciting to see you all do that. I don’t have the loftiest expectations for you, but I do assume you can’t lose every single game for the rest of the season. I love you all and I know you can do this, so let’s try and win one, ‘kay?

(P.S. Matusz, get back on this team soon. We miss you.)