I’m 23 years old in April. I’ve never been on a date in my entire life, and a ton of that had to do with the fact that I was made fun of growing up. I was literally teased from kindergarten until I graduated twelfth grade. A lot of that was because I had undiagnosed Asperger’s and was therefore socially awkward, but here’s the kicker: a lot of it wasn’t. A lot of it, in fact, was because I liked “boy things.”
I’m a baseball fan. I like Star Wars (so much, in fact, that I run this). I enjoy action movies because things blow up (and sometimes mean people blow up, too). I’m pretty darn good at video games and love playing them – I’m the high score holder on a Galaga machine on Jenkinson’s Boardwalk in Point Pleasant, New Jersey. I’m also a military historian – I majored in history and minored in Civil War Era Studies at Gettysburg College.
Apparently, if you put all of this together I am the most emasculating woman alive.
Liking sports, video games and nerdy things like Star Wars – and knowing more about them than most men do – is apparently unattractive and threatening. I’ve found that men find me intimidating sometimes, which I find hilarious because I’m 5’2″ and really tiny. I just don’t get why me liking sports and these other things makes me unattractive. It should, in theory, make me very attractive because it’s something men can bond with me over. However, instead it makes me weird.
Not all men are like this, of course. I’m my kid brother’s “cool older sister” – all his friends think I’m awesome. My dad defends me to his co-workers, frequently telling them that I know more about baseball than they do. I’ve even had a few guys tell me they’re surprised I’ve never been on a date before. But the ones who react to people like me negatively seem to be the most vocal, and that needs to stop. I can like sports without my fandom being based on finding players attractive. I just don’t get why some people still assume that it has to be that way.
Until then, I’ll keep on enjoying my single life and wondering why people are so weird.