I want to live in a world where this doesn't make me undateable.
Today, two of my incredibly wonderful colleagues wrote this and this. And you know what? It really got me thinking.
I’m 23 years old in April. I’ve never been on a date in my entire life, and a ton of that had to do with the fact that I was made fun of growing up. I was literally teased from kindergarten until I graduated twelfth grade. A lot of that was because I had undiagnosed Asperger’s and was therefore socially awkward, but here’s the kicker: a lot of it wasn’t. A lot of it, in fact, was because I liked “boy things.”
I’m a baseball fan. I like Star Wars (so much, in fact, that I run this). I enjoy action movies because things blow up (and sometimes mean people blow up, too). I’m pretty darn good at video games and love playing them – I’m the high score holder on a Galaga machine on Jenkinson’s Boardwalk in Point Pleasant, New Jersey. I’m also a military historian – I majored in history and minored in Civil War Era Studies at Gettysburg College.
Apparently, if you put all of this together I am the most emasculating woman alive.
Liking sports, video games and nerdy things like Star Wars – and knowing more about them than most men do – is apparently unattractive and threatening. I’ve found that men find me intimidating sometimes, which I find hilarious because I’m 5’2″ and really tiny. I just don’t get why me liking sports and these other things makes me unattractive. It should, in theory, make me very attractive because it’s something men can bond with me over. However, instead it makes me weird.
Not all men are like this, of course. I’m my kid brother’s “cool older sister” – all his friends think I’m awesome. My dad defends me to his co-workers, frequently telling them that I know more about baseball than they do. I’ve even had a few guys tell me they’re surprised I’ve never been on a date before. But the ones who react to people like me negatively seem to be the most vocal, and that needs to stop. I can like sports without my fandom being based on finding players attractive. I just don’t get why some people still assume that it has to be that way.
Until then, I’ll keep on enjoying my single life and wondering why people are so weird.
Steph, you are a beautiful and intelligent human being and I am honored to be one of your friends. ♥
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I love you. ♥ I’m so glad we’re friends, seriously.
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I love you and feel your pain. And your drawings are supercute. (deliberate lack of space). I used to get shit all the time & until I started growing my hair out (last March), people regularly thought I was a guy because I didn’t wear tight-fitting clothes that showed off my ass &/or (admittedly tiny) breasts. All these posts are just making me so happy. <3
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Are we the same person? I really think we’re the same person. I’ve been mistaken for a guy many times, too!
And I’m so touched that you like my art! ♥
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It’s great! I wish Mac had put us in touch sooner. We do seem to have an awful lot in common, although it sounds like you play a wider range of video games than I currently do.
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I play way too many 8-bit games from the 80s for my own good, apparently. And I’m so glad she brought us together, too! Yay making new friends!
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All I think it means is that the pool of people worthy of dating you is smaller, but you’ll find each other. I think perhaps the most intimidating thing about you is that you do what you love, not what you think other people want you to do to make you “dateable,” (been there, done that, too). It’s WAY better being exactly who I am, and finding the person who appreciates me for exactly that.
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I’m hoping that’s how it works out! I’ll just keep being my eccentric self and see who I draw to me, and hopefully one of ‘em will be a keeper!
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Is that a Portland Seadogs jersey? That alone makes you date worthy in my book
Hell that screams future wife maybe 
Never change who you are to please others. Stay true to yourself. It’s a huge world and there are plenty of guys like me that would be happy to date you 
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That’s my game-used Jed Lowrie PawSox jersey, but I’m quite proud of it nonetheless! (I’m a Sox fan who writes about the Orioles. I’m weird.) And here’s hoping – I’m quite flattered!
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That’s awesome!! I love going to McCoy Stadium for Paw Sox games. Every seat is great. It’s a cheap night out. Red Sox tix are hard to come by and way over priced
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I need to get back to McCoy – it’s been so long! Too bad I’m stuck in NJ and Pawtucket is four hours away from me.
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That sucks
I’m spoiled Fenway is 10 minutes away,and McCoy is 40 minutes away..(Not trying to rub it in 
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I should move.
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Stephanie, you are great and you will meet the right person one day who will love you for you!
I met my soon to be husband because of our mutual love for baseball and the A’s. He told me he knew he wanted to marry me the minute I asked him who I thought would win Rookie of the Year. Here we are, almost 5 years later and getting married in a month!
There’s guys out there who will love the fact that you are as passonate of sports as they are (among all the other things you love).
Keep your head up pretty lady, prince charming will show up eventually
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Aaaah, you and your future husband are ADORABLE, seriously! I’ll keep my fingers crossed and hope my life goes in that direction, too!
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