Ahhh, Clemson, this is why you can’t have nice things.
Chad Kelly, the nephew of former NFL star Jim Kelly, is going to be a quarterback for the Tigers. That’s not all, though. Kelly is also the subject of a rap.
This “rap” about Kelly has been posted on SoundCloud, and basically involves the artists saying his name a lot and attempting to rhyme. The beginning of the song goes like this:
“Chad Kelly, number 12. Swag. Under Armour All-American. Swag. Player of the Year, All-State. Swag.” You get the drift (swag).
Um. I just…can’t There are so many questions begging to be answered. Why did you make this in the first place? Why did you put it on the internet? Do you truly believe you have rapping skills? Are you aware that you claim he possesses a lot of swag? Do you have a lot of difficulty remembering the guy’s name?
There are also excerpts from real stories about Chad which highlight his accomplishments. I mean, if you’re that much of a superstar, couldn’t you just let your play speak for you? Evidently there is just too much swag in Kelly’s veins to keep quiet.
Also, if you check Kelly’s twitter feed, you’ll see that he doesn’t appear to be acquainted with proper grammar (swag?). Speaking of twitter, Chad seems to be following in the footsteps of some of his future teammates, as he’s tweeted some questionable things as of late.
Because he’s got swag, Kelly tweeted the following:
By not naming names, I guess he thought he was being clever or something (swag?), but much like the rap, it was a failure. A current Clemson QB, Cole Stoudt, correctly assuming the tweet was meant for him, responded with this gem:
Number one, these dudes seriously need to go back to elementary school and learn the difference between there/their/they’re, you’re/your, etc. (insert joke about Clemson here). Number two, this bodes well for next year’s team chemistry (no it doesn’t). You’d think that after the Tigers’ starting quarterback, Tajh Boyd, reportedly tweeted something about South Carolina’s defense being “average” and was promptly pummeled by them on the field, these guys would have been a little smarter on twitter, but I guess not (insert another Clemson joke here). It’s really fitting that he’s heading to Clemson, though. Head Coach Dabo Swinney is one of the least classy guys in college football, so it makes sense that Kelly would play for him.
Kelly appears to believe that because his swag is off the charts, being so swagtastic gives him the right to trash talk anyone, even future teammates. He did an interview with TigerIllustrated earlier this month wherein he explained why he’s awesome and Stoudt sucks:
“Cole doesn’t have that oomph right now and Tajh needs that every day … for someone to push him and keep him working so he gets better.”
Uh, okay. Whatever you say, kiddo. There is at least one future teammate Kelly is fond of though:
Honestly, the only way this could get any better would be for Stoudt and Kelly to be roommates at some point. Please, universe, let that happen.