In today’s edition of: “You can’t make this s*** up,” I have two very lovely storylines developing out of Lions world. Of course, I seriously doubt either of them will actually play out, but I can still throw a tantrum in the meantime.

Let’s start with the least annoying, but most absurd, shall we?

Collin Mooney

1. The Lions current search for more depth in the backfield has led them to a particularly unusual fullback who will be at training camp Thursday. His name? Collin Mooney. His background? He’s a former fullback for Army who has been “sidelined” for the past two years while he completed his post-graduated military duties.

All this sounds harmless, right? Well, I’ve left out one teeeeeny, tiny bit of information. He’s The Dark Lord’s son-in-law. Yes, that’s right, former Lions general manager Matt Millen is this dude’s father-in-law. ::shudder::

Since he’s not a blood relative, I can cut him a little slack. But, if he does do well and get signed, he’s still going to have to prove a lot for me to not hold a permanent chip on my shoulder toward this kid. Yeah, I know, I’m immature. Oh well.

Mooney met Michalyn Millen his junior year at West Point thanks to Marcus Millen, who was attending West Point. Michalyn was at Penn State. The two started dating and were married July 3, 2010.

“He’s given me plenty of advice,” Mooney said of his father-in-law. “He was in the league for 13 years and he knows the business. He’s got a lot of great advice he’s given me.

“He told me what I needed to do going into camp and the way to give myself the best opportunity to stick around. He’s helped me out a lot.”

Not to sound rude, Collin, but I’m not exactly sure he does “know the business” all that well. But whatever. Hopefully his advice will serve you better than it ever served the Lions. Because otherwise, dude, you’re doomed.

Terrelle Pryor (By Michael Tolzmann via Wikimedia Commons)

2. That brings us to our second bit of developing news. The Lions are reportedly planning to attend Terrelle Pryor’s Pro Day.

There’s still a lot of speculation as to whether Pryor will even be eligible for the supplemental draft Aug. 17, but if he is, and he does hold a Pro Day, the Lions will be there.

But no one should jump to any conclusions about the Lions’ level of interest in Pryor as a quarterback or any other position should he decide to switch. NFL teams routinely scout all prospects to evaluate their skill level.

I will try not to jump to any conclusions, but it’s really hard not to express how much I would absolutely hate for this to happen. I harbor too much resentment and bias toward this guy to actually give an honest opinion about his playing ability and what he could potentially bring to a team — Lions or not. I just don’t want to think about it. So the defense will rest now.

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