How the Video Music Awards are like baseball

•  Bad acting (music videos vs baseball player commercials…I am looking at you Joe Mauer with your Land O Lakes Milk commercial “Pour it on, Minnesota. Pour. It. On.”)
• The biggest names seem to get the most attention (*cough*Katy Perry Derek Jeter*cough*)
• Snarking
• Crotch grabbing
• Awkward interviews
• Weird fashion (that’s alllll you Brian Wilson)
• Fireworks
• Bad singing (Rosanne’s National Anthem anyone?)

Sometimes I am a non-traditionalist, especially when it comes to beverages at baseball games. Being a Minnesota gal, the weather whilst attending baseball games can range from 40 degrees and snowy to a boiling 110 degrees. It’s important to have the appropriate drink to compliment Mother Nature’s whim.

For the freezing cold days I usually grab a coffee from the Caribou carts scattered around the stadium and then sweet talk the Twins Pubs bartenders into adding a shot of Baileys to it.

However, it’s the burning hot days that will get ya! I found a tasty treat that will help beat the heat…Corona Cherry Limeade. It’s like the cousin of my most favorite Beergarita. I am not sure which ballparks offer this but it’s a simple recipe that you can recreate at home.

 Corona Cherry Limeade
Shot of Cherry vodka
Shot.5 of Corona
Squeeze of a fresh lime
Enough Sierra Mist to fizz it up
A splash of grenadine for color

The Nicest Man in Baseball reached a HUGE milestone last night…Jim Thome hit his 600th homerun! That’s…

600 trots around the bases

600 pauses to watch them sail away

600 smiles on the inside and maybe on the outside

600 crowds cheering or booing

600 collective gasps

600 hand slaps, ass slaps, back pats and hugs from your teammates
So…welcome to the #600 Club, Thome! I am glad I got to watch it happen and not to sound cliché but…it couldn’t have happened to a nicer guy.

Check out the sweet slideshow the Twins posted of #600: http://t.co/uC7yjD7

Picture this…me holding up an invite to someone’s engagement party in one hand and holding two tickets to a baseball game in the other. Which do you pick? Sure, your head is saying, “these are your dear friends! You should be there to help them celebrate!” whilst your heart is saying, “But this is baseball. This is the thing you like doing.”

At that moment my brain starts spinning and trying to think of excuses that would be good enough to use for skipping an engagement party. Do I lie and say that my grandma is having medical manicure and I need to be there? Do I pretend I am *cough* sick? Do I say that my car broke down on the freeway heading there and so I am standing on Interstate 35W in my semi-formal wear with my thumb sticking out trying to hitch-hike to the party? Or do I do the unthinkable and just be honest?

In order to make my life easier I have compiled the list below of common and universal excuses as to why I can’t attend an event due to baseball.

• It’s my last game that I have tickets for against Detroit that happens to fall on a Tuesday on the second week of the month.
• When you get close to a huge milestone like 600 homeruns then I’ll skip a baseball game to hang with you. And no, completing your punch card at Old Chicago’s Beer Tour doesn’t count.
• I mean, I assume that your marriage will last a couple days after your wedding and I’ll give you your present then.
• It’s the only night where wearing a shower cap and holding a broom to the stadium is appropriate.
• Dollar Dog Night.
• You never dress in old-time-y baseball clothes and go to games with me. Why should I skip a game to dress up in Yonder-Years gear and go to the Renaissance with you?
• My team is only three games back in our division and we’re going into a really great roadtrip series. That means we could potentially make the playoffs if two other teams lose all their games. So, that’s why I can’t commit to coming to your dinner party next month.
• Baseball doesn’t judge like my family does for me not being married or having kids. Which would you pick?
• When you start bringing me beer and crackerjacks then we can re-prioritize where you stand in my appointment book.
• I just don’t wanna.

 Your turn!

What are some of your best/creative/sassy excuses?

Let’s say you’re making a Baseball Mix and want to include one of the classic baseball songs…which would you choose?

So in honor of Music Monday…Click on the link below to take the very informal, very quick, very painless poll!

What is your favorite song about baseball?

It’s breakfast time as I write this and I am sitting here with a bowl of less-than-desirable oatmeal. That coupled with looking through oodles of photos of ballpark food is almost self-inflicted torture!

 

We all know that I have a love affair with the food at Target Field but there are plenty of other stadium and ballparks out there with amazing food too! So I did a little research and I now know where to go next to dine…er, watch baseball!  

 

Gilroy Garlic Fries – AT&T Park (San Francisco Giants)

Ghiradelil’s Hot Fudge Sundae – AT&T Park (San Francisco Giants)

Cha Cha Bowl – AT&T Park (San Francisco Giants)

Ivar’s Grilled Salmon Sandwich – Safeco Field (Seattle Mariners)

Ichiroll – Safeco Field (Seattle Mariners)

Locavore Crepes – Safeco Field (Seattle Mariners)

Rick’s Steaks – Citizens Bank Park – (Philadelphia Phillies)

Crab Fries – Citizens Bank Park (Philadelphia Phillies)

Vietnamese Hot Dog – Wrigley Field (Chicago Cubs)

North Side Twist – Wrigley Field (Chicago Cubs)

KC Ribeye Stack – Kauffman Stadium (Kansas City Royals)

Dirt and Worms Concrete – Kauffman Stadium (Kansas City Royals)

Shrimp Tacos – Petco Park (San Diego Padres)

Chorizo Corn Dog – Petco Park (San Diego Padres)

Primanti Brothers Sandwich – PNC Park (Pittsburgh Pirates)

Primanti Brothers Sandwich

BBQ Stuffed Baked Potato – Minute Maid Park (Houston Astros)

Corn Off the Cob – Cellular Field (Chicago White Sox)

Rocky Mountain Oysters – Coors Fields (Colorado Rockies)

Shake Shack – Citi Field (New York Mets)

Tailgate on a Plate Hot Dog – Chase Field (Arizona Diamondbacks)

Boogs Barbeque – Oriole Park at Camden Yards (Baltimore Orioles)

Cheese Coney – Great American Ballpark (Cincinnati Reds)

Buffalo Mac and Cheese – Progressive Field (Cleveland Indians)

Paella – Sun Life Stadium (Florida Marlins)

Lobel’s Prime Beef Sandwich – Yankee Stadium (New York Yankees)

Toasted Ravioli – Busch Stadium (St Louis Cardinals)

BBQ Chicken Nachos – Rogers Centre (Toronto Blue Jays)

Pork Chop on a Stick and/or Walleye on a Stick – Target Field (Minnesota Twins)

Walk-a-Taco – Target Field (Minnesota Twins)

Walk-a-Taco from Target Field

 What’s your favorite non-traditional ballpark food?

It’s like Antique Roadshow…but not as fast-paced!

We’re talking about the MLB Trade Deadline here, people. It was a snooze-fest so I did what any red-blooded American would do…I created my own soundtrack to spice it up. These are songs to say goodbye to a loved player, to kick a player to the curb, to warn a player of what is to come, to hug and hold hands, to glare and grit teeth, and to sit around a campfire singing kumbaya.

 (AKA: “My Team Didn’t Do Squat So I Had To Amuse Myself With Creating This” Playlist)

• Another One Bites the Dust – Queen

How do you think I’m going to get along without you when you’re gone

• I Will Buy You a New Life – Everclear

Here’s the money that I owe you/So you can pay the bills/I will give you more/When I get paid again

• Home Sweet Home – Motley Crue

I’m on my way, just set me free/Home sweet home

• Our House – Burn Halo

You better bring all your guns/Get ‘em loaded cause it’s almost game time

• You’ve Got a Friend – James Taylor

When the road looks rough again/And you’re miles and miles from your nice warm bed

• We’re All In This Together – Ben Lee

I know you think about jumping ship before it sinks but we are all in this together

• Tubthumping – Chumbawamba

I get knocked down but I get up again, you’re never gonna keep me down

• Wonderpets Theme Song – Crazy crackheads who write songs

We’re not to big and we’re not too tough but when we work together we’ve got the right stuff

• Baby Come Back – Player

Baby come back, any kind of fool could see/There was something in everything about you

• Changes – David Bowie

Ch-ch-changes/Just gonna have to be a different man/Time may change me but I can’t trace time

• The Distance – Cake

He’s going the distance. He’s going for speed

• Hit The Road Jack – Ray Charles

Well, I guess if you say so, I’d have to pack my things and go

• On the Road Again – Willie Nelson

On the road again/Goin’ places that I’ve never been/Seein’ things that I may never see again

• Three Little Birds – Bob Marley

Don’t worry about a thing, ‘cause every little thing gonna be alright

 

Your turn! Which songs would you add to this playlist?

• NFL is back. There goes my plans of extending the baseball season to January.
• I watched the Twins Outfielder Michael Cuddyer pitch last night in Texas.
• Everyone is jumping on the Pirates bandwagon. As a veteran Pirates fan I am happy to see all the love they’re getting but I always add the disclaimer that I “found” the Pirates a few years ago (during their bad years). I also found Primantis sandwiches, Deluca’s dessert pancakes and Quaker Steak n Lube wings.
• The poor Mariners lost their 16^th in a row. Hey Mariners fans, at least you’re in the news! (Trying to find that silver lining.)
• Did you know that no matter how many Pinot Grigios you have it does not help swallow the bitter pill of your team showing a 1 on the board whilst the other team has a 19…and that was in the 5^th inning.
• Remember when everyone realized Brian Wilson was a little nutty? He’s like that awkward kid in high school that everyone knows but no one wants to be photographed standing next to him.

So, what’s happening right now? Do you have any tidbits or happenings to add? Did I miss out on anything awesome because I was busy watching the Real Housewives of New York Reunion?

The Aerys Sports family has grown over the past few months and I want to make sure our readers know all the branches on the Aerys Family Tree!

 

Twitter:

@AerysSports

@Aerys_MLB

@Aerys_NFL

@Aerys_NHL

@AerysSoccer

@BalkAboutIt

Facebook:

http://www.facebook.com/AerysSports

http://www.facebook.com/AerysSportsNFL

http://www.facebook.com/aeryssportsmlb

Side note:

Dear East Coasters, stay cool! Minneapolis had that insane heat earlier this week and I found drinking beergaritas whilst sitting in the direct path of a sprinkler was the only saving grace.

It’s Follow Friday on Twitter and instead of giving you a list of funny people or athletes I thought I would investigate and let you know which MLB Mascots are official on Twitter.

 

Ah, mascots.

They can be cute and cuddly. They can get the crowd to act like fools in the hopes of getting a t-shirt or hot dog launched out of some missile tool thingy. They can almost bring down an entire baseball team due to peddling drugs. They can be kind of pervy.

Official Mascots Twitter Accounts on the @MLB List:

 @TC_00 (twins)

@bernie_brewer (Brewers)

@southpaw (Chicago Whitesox)

@LouSeal01 (Luigi Francisco Seal – San Fran Giants)

@Teddy26Nats (Teddy Roosevelt – Nationals)

@sluggerrr (KC)

@DbacksBaxter (Baxter the Bobcat – AZ Diamondbacks)

@SliderTheMascot (Cleveland Indians)

@ACE_00 (Toronto Blue Jays)

@ScreechTheEagle (Washington Nationals)

@Wally97 (Boston Redsox)

@Stomper00 (Oakland As)

A little history of all our mascots:

• Ace (Toronto Blue Jays) – was born in 2002
• Bernie Brewer (Milwaukee Brewers) – He is new and improved and it appears fans are not happy with the newest version of their mascot. They want the old lederhosen guy!
• Billy The Marlin (Florida Marlins)
• Captain Jolly Roger (Pittsburgh Pirates) – and after seeing this mascot in person I can only say that Roger gets his Jollies by creeping out the ladies
• Baxter the Bobcat (Arizona Diamondbacks) –Has the most bizarre and non-connection reason how they came up with the mascot’s name:

The origin of the name and what the mascot would be was created by Jay Bell‘s son, Brently. Jay Bell was one of the original players on the Diamondbacks 1998 inaugural season roster. Brently came up with the name D. Baxter the Bobcat from two sources, first “D. Baxter” from the team’s short name: “The D-Backs” (D-Backs to D. BAXter), and the Bobcat from the original name of the stadium where the Diamondbacks play. Today called Chase Field, was once called Bank One Ballpark, everyone came to nickname the stadium “BOB” and the “BOBcat” became the mascot, as Bobcats are prevalent throughout Arizona. -Wikipedia

•  Dinger (Colorado Rockies) –Dinger the Dinosaur hatched in 1994
• Fredbird (St Louis Cardinals) – Introduced in 1979
• Gapper (Cincinnati Reds) – He is sometimes called Groper since he tends to like to get his hands on the female fans. Uh, creepy?
• Homer (Atlanta Braves) – He’s Homer the Brave…how patriotic
• Junction Jack (Houston Astros) – The Trix Rabbit called. He wants his shtick back, Junction Jack.
• Junior (Toronto Blue Jays) – He’s Ace’s little brother. Evidently there’s a mascot family happening!
• Lefty and Righty (Boston Red Sox) – Large red socks with arm. Huh.
• Lou Seal (San Francisco Giants) – Now this is a cute mascot!
• Mariner Moose (Seattle Mariners) – Best part of this mascot’s history? The fact he almost ran over Coco Crisp which pissed off the pitching coach.
• Mr. Met (New York Mets) – He’s old school!
• Mr. Redlegs (Cincinnati Reds) – He had a very embarrassing and public de-heading at a game.
• The Oriole Bird (Baltimore) – His favorite foods are “mostly bird seed, with occasional crab cake.” He’s got good taste.
• Paws (Detroit Tigers) – Fashion maven, often changes clothes/costumes.
• Phillie Phanatic (Philadelphia Phillies) – Everyone knows the Phanatic!
• Pirate Parrot (Pittsburgh Pirates) – Did you know the guy who played Pirate Parrot was the key contributor to the Pittsburgh drug trials. Evidently he was the cocaine buyer and introduced it to several players. He’s a druggie bird.
• Rangers Captain (Texas rangers) – Pretty palomino!
• Raymond (Tampa Bay Rays) – Born in the Gulf of Mexico, he’s classified as a seadog.
• Rosie Red (Cincinnati Reds) – Evidently Cincinnati is so…big…that it has multiple mascots.
• Screech (Washington Nationals) – Not a lot of dirt on this bird. He’s pretty wholesome.
• Slider (Cleveland Indians) – Klutzy Slider took a header during a game.
• Sluggerrr (Kansas City Royals) – I have a special place in my heart for this lion.
• Southpaw (Chicago White Sox) – This mascot got to ride on a float during Barack Obama’s inauguration.
• Stomper (Oakland Athletics) – Became the mascot in 1988
• Swinging Friar (San Diego Padres) – Sometimes it’s a real man dressed as a friar and sometimes it’s the cartoon costume. Both equally creepy.
• T.C. Bear (Minnesota Twins) – I am amused that this bear follows 30 Second to Mars and Jared Leto on Twitter. He must fanbear them!
• Wally the Green Monster (Boston Red Sox) – Evidently older Red Sox fans are not into this new mascot. Wally The Green Monster came out of hiding in 1997 when it was the 50^th anniversary of the Green Monster being painted green (1997).

Mascotless Teams

• Chicago Cubs (they have a real life fan that people consider their unofficial mascot)
• Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim (they have that damn rally monkey)
• Los Angeles Dodgers
• New York Yankees (evidently they are too cool for a mascot too)